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Instructions for the British People During The Emergency
by Jason Hazeley Nico Tatarowicz'Funny, despite bloody everything' - Charlie BrookerAn indispensable handbook to see the nation through lockdown, breakdown and meltdown. As Britain enters a period of tremendous upheaval, your government has requested that everyone immediately undertake a series of life-style changes that may test the nation's resolve.Most of it is simple common-sense, but common-sense may be new to you, especially if you are young, wistful or an imbecile.Indeed, it should be noted that much of what is to come in the weeks and months (and months) ahead will be new to us all. But let us remember that, not so long ago, the same was true of pesto.We must not lose heart. With stoicism, courage and a substantial supply of alcoholic fortification, we will pull through this together and emerge from it a stronger (or weaker but more experienced) nation.Sir Clement Apricot-Wilson,Permanent SecretaryThe Department of Unforeseen Circumstances
InvestiGators (InvestiGators! #1)
by John Patrick GreenThey're Alligators – and Investigators! InvestiGators written and illustrated by John Patrick Green is the full colour, laugh-out-loud series perfect for emerging readers and fans of Dav Pilkey's Dog Man.Mango and Brash are the InvestiGators: sewer-loving agents of S.U.I.T. and scourge of supervillains everywhere!With their Very Exciting Spy Technology and their tried-and-true, toilet-based travel techniques, the InvestiGators are undercover and on the case! And on their first mission together, they have not one but two mysteries to solve! Can Mango and Brash uncover the clues, crack their cases, and corral the crooks? Or will the criminals wriggle out of their grasp?
Investigators: Take the Plunge (InvestiGators! #2)
by John Patrick GreenSewer-loving secret agents Mango and Brash are plunged into a hilarious new mystery and a BIG MESS in John Patrick Green's full-colour, laugh-out-loud graphic novel InvestiGators: Take the Plunge, perfect for emerging readers and fans of Dav Pilkey.Mango and Brash are the InvestiGators: sewer-loving agents of S.U.I.T. and scourge of supervillains everywhere!In their next big adventure, S.U.I.T. headquarters is under attack, and Mango and Brash are going undercover and underground disguised as city sewer workers to unclog a sticky situation. But when their search for the criminal Crackerdile backfires, the toilets they travel through get blocked and the InvestiGators take the blame for it!Can Mango and Brash restore their good name and put the real culprit behind bars before the whole city is in deep water?
The Iron Dirge (The Grave of Empires)
by Sam SykesA standalone epic fantasy novella starring Sal the Cacophony, who Pierce Brown called a "protagonist for the ages," from Sam Sykes' widely acclaimed Seven Blades in Black and Ten Arrows of Iron. Sal the Cacophony does not make friends. When you have a magic gun, a trusty blade and rogue mages to hunt, you don&’t need them. Sal the Cacophony makes enemies. And when her hunt leads to a town on the edge of nowhere, she finds them in spades: an unassuming mage with a secret, a vengeful bandit queen with ideals and steel to spare, and a colossal, centuries-old beast who has decided now is the best time to migrate.Sal the Cacophony could be their savior. But as everyone eventually learns, Sal&’s &“salvation&” is usually worse.
Isaac Newton’s 21st Century Entanglement: A time-travelling caper
by Noel Hodson‘A distinguished futurist’ BRIAN ALDISSWhile quietly studying prisms and light on his family’s Lincolnshire farm in the plague year of 1666, Isaac Newton suddenly finds himself transported to 2020. There he meets young Archie, who assumes that this curious character on a country riverbank is a random weirdo with a few marbles missing.It turns out that Newton is quantumly entangled, the victim of an experiment with physical laws way beyond even his own revolutionary insight. He’s not the only one caught in this plight: Archie becomes entangled with Isaac, unwittingly riding the timelines too. The pair end up on the run in two different ages, pursued by panicky scientists and agents of the law in the twenty-first century, and facing potentially lethal accusations of sorcery in the seventeenth. Can the combined talents of Newton and his modern colleagues untangle the mess?The science is sound(ish) and the story is a delight. Noel Hodson’s playful novel is the easiest, most enjoyable introduction to quantum physics ever written.
It Started with a Secret: The feel-good novel of the year, from the bestselling author of MAYBE THIS TIME
by Jill MansellJill's Mansell's heart-warming new book is the perfect escape from the winter weather. A beautiful Cornish setting, a chaotic family, a woman who's had enough of romance - or has she? 'IT STARTED WITH A SECRET is like a little blast of sunshine - uplifting, heartwarming and supremely feelgood' Sophie Kinsella, author of CHRISTMAS SHOPAHOLICThe trouble with secrets is that you can't guess what the consequences will be . . .Lainey has lost everything. Luckily one little fib (OK, quite a big fib) helps nail her dream job. Soon she's living in a stunning house by the sea, fending off obsessed fans for a retired - if far-from-retiring - actor and organising his charming but chaotic family. It's definitely worth the challenge of keeping her secret.At least Lainey isn't looking for love. It's time for a break from all that. And yet . . . Seth, the actor's grandson, really is rather attractive. There's growing chemistry and a definite connection between them. But how would he react if he knew she hadn't been honest with him? Lainey's not the only one with a secret, though. Seth has one of his own. And everything's about to start unravelling . . .
The Italian Escape: A feel-good holiday romance set in Italy - the PERFECT beach read for summer 2021
by Catherine ManganSparkling sea, sun, delicious food and Aperol Spritz - escape to Italy with the perfect summer romance . . . Niamh Kelly's life hasn't turned out quite as she'd expected. She's thirty-three, still living at home and was recently dumped . . . by her boss. So when her sister invites her to tag along on a work trip to the sun-drenched Italian coast, Niamh jumps at the chance, eager to escape into a world of sparkling prosecco, delicious food, and breath-taking beaches.Upon her arrival, Niamh immediately falls in love with the beautiful Italian town they're staying in and realises she never wants to leave, deciding instead to stay and open up a quaint coffee shop nestled in charming old town streets - even if she has no idea what she's doing. But when a family tragedy and a tricky tourist season threaten her new business, Niamh isn't so sure she can stick it out. With help from her new-found Italian friends - and the possibility of romance on the horizon - can she make her new life in the sun a success?A glorious and uplifting escapist novel set against the stunning backdrop of the Italian coast. The perfect holiday read for fans of Rosanna Ley, Rachel Hore and Karen SwanEarly readers LOVE The Italian Escape:'This book is the perfect escape. Curl up and enjoy''Beautifully written . . . I just wanted the experience to go on for longer''I really enjoyed this book . . . recommended holiday reading'
It’s a Prince Thing (The Princess Rules #2)
by Philippa GregoryThe sequel to THE PRINCESS RULES sees rebel princess, Princess Florizella, going on even more adventures, but this time, she also has a little brother in tow…
Jeeves and the Leap of Faith: A Novel In Homage To P. G. Wodehouse
by Ben Schott_________________'This homage to P.G. Wodehouse is so good ... a masterpiece in every sense' MailThe Drones club's in peril. Gussie's in love. Spode's on the warpath. Oh, and His Majesty's Government needs a favour. I say - it's a good thing Bertie's back!One man - and his Gentleman's Personal Gentleman - valiantly set out to save the Drones, thwart Spode and nobly assist His Majesty's Government. From the mean streets of Mayfair to the scheming spires of Cambridge we encounter a joyous cast of characters: chiselling painters and criminal bookies, eccentric philosophers and dodgy clairvoyantes, appalling poets and pocket dictators, vexatious aunts and their vicious hounds.Replete with a Times crossword, and classic Schottian endnotes, you hold in your hands the most blissfully entertaining means to while away an idle hour or two.P.G. Wodehouse has long been a panacea for the woes of the world... have we ever needed a new Jeeves and Wooster more?_________________'Peerless in its wit, elegance and silliness.' Evening Standard BOOKS OF THE YEAR on Jeeves and the King of Clubs'A tonic for these testing times' Eithne Farry, Sunday Express
Jeremy Hardy Speaks Volumes: words, wit, wisdom, one-liners and rants
by Jeremy Hardy'Well good evening, my name is Jeremy Hardy and I'm a comedian who likes to make wry witty satirical observations about the society we live in -- but I prefer to keep them to myself, thank you very much.'Edited by his wife, Katie Barlow and his long-time producer David Tyler, this comprehensive celebration of Jeremy Hardy's work is introduced by Jack Dee and Mark Steel. Further reflections on Jeremy come from Rory Bremner, Paul Bassett Davies, Jon Naismith, Francesca Martinez, Sandi Toksvig, Victoria Coren Mitchell, Andy Hamilton, Graeme Garden and Hugo Rifkind. Katie Barlow also provides a moving Afterword.Jeremy Hardy, who died in February 2019, was perhaps the most distinctive and brilliant comedian to arise from the 80s Alternative Comedy circuit. He regularly entertained the millions who heard his outrageous rants on The News Quiz, his legendary singing on Sorry I Haven't a Clue, or his hilarious monologues and sketches on the award-winning Jeremy Hardy Speaks to The Nation and Jeremy Hardy Feels It. Often referred to as 'the comedian's comedian', Jeremy's comedy could be both personal and political, ranging in topics from prison reform to parenting, from British identity to sex. His comedy could be biting, provocative and illuminating, but it could also be surreal, mischievous and, at times, very silly. And while Jeremy's unwavering socialism was a thread that ran throughout his comedy, his greatest skill was that, whatever their political beliefs, Jeremy always brought his audience along with him.Jeremy Hardy Speaks Volumes is a fitting celebration of this brilliant comedian. Introduced by Jack Dee and Mark Steel and containing material from his stand-up to his radio monologues and political satire to the joyfully silly gems, as well as tributes from his friends and fellow comedians, it is curated to encompass everything about Jeremy that fans adored. Edited by Katie Barlow and David Tyler, Jeremy Hardy Speaks Volumes is wise, daft, outrageous, personal and, above all, very funny: like Jeremy himself.'Ground-breakingly brilliant, off-the-register funny' JACK DEE'A one-off. Part genius, part naughty schoolboy' SANDI TOKSVIG'Unfussy, unshowy, principled, self-deprecating, hugely loved and admired by his fellow comedians and funnier than the lot of us put together' RORY BREMNER
The Jetsetters: A Novel
by Amanda Eyre WardA REESE'S BOOK CLUB HELLO SUNSHINE BOOK PICK'If you're packing for spring break, be sure to include a copy!' Reese WitherspoonA family reunited on a holiday of a lifetime...what could possibly go wrong?When 70-year-old Charlotte Perkins submits an essay to the 'Become a Jetsetter' contest, she dreams of reuniting her estranged children: Lee, an almost-famous actress; Cord, a handsome Manhattan venture capitalist; and Regan, a harried mother who has never forgiven Charlotte for buying her a Weight Watchers gift certificate for her birthday.But when she wins the cruise, the reality is not quite as she expected. As they sail from sun-drenched Athens, to glorious Rome, to tapas-laden Barcelona, lovers old and new join the adventure, and long-buried secrets are revealed. Can four lost adults find their way back to themselves, and to each other? And more importantly, can they do it without killing each other? A funny and deliciously sun-scented novel about the courage it takes to reveal our true selves, the pleasures and perils of family, and how we navigate the seas of adulthood to cruise - we can only hope - toward joy.WHAT READERS ARE SAYING ABOUT THE JETSETTERS'This is the novel I never realized I absolutely needed! The Jetsetters had me from the very first page!' Amazon Reader'Funny, yet sensitive and heartbreaking all at the same time. We can all identify with family crisis of some sort. And as we would in our own family, we root for them all, feel their pain and embarrassment, and hope they can put their baggage away and become better people and a new family' Amazon Reader'What could possibly go wrong on a family cruise? Anything and everything. Funny and a little heart wrenching with characters that will be hard to forget. Happy reading!' Amazon Reader'Ms. Ward writes at a lively pace as she weaves through the Perkins' trials and tribulations. For any fan of a well-written story that resonates with the reader long after you finish the final page, I highly recommend this book' Amazon Reader'Amanda Eyre Ward creates a great escape. The Perkins family are all a hot mess that you can't help but watch' Amazon Reader
Jojo’s French Escape (A French Escape #3)
by Lorraine Wilson‘She had me at Bonjour! Warm, funny, deliciously French…this lovely story filled my heart with sunshine’ Jane Linfoot
Jokes for Kids
by Sally Lindley Joe FullmanThis side-spitting joke joke book is packed to bursting with silly fun, and guaranteed to have you rolling on the floor! It contains more than 700 eye-wateringly funny gags including classic jokes, wacky one-liners, silly shaggy dog stories, and a whole library of ridiculous book titles! Ideal for children aged 6+.
Jonathan the Magic Pony
by Stuart HeritageJonathan the Magic Pony is a brilliant magician. With one wave of his magic wand he can make anything disappear. Boomf! And because he's such a brilliant magician, with one more wave he can make things come back too. It's foolproof. Failsafe. Always works.Or does it?When Jonathan magics away Sarah's bear... it doesn't come back! And with each, increasingly desperate, wave of his wand, Jonathan sets off an anarchic chain of events that builds to a swirl of hilarious chaos. There are sharks chasing ducks, baboons with giant wooden spoons, chimpanzees covered in fleas... but where is Sarah's bear? Will it ever come back?Is Jonathan even a real magician?! Find out in this silly, playful and very, very funny picture book, perfect for fans of Supertato and Grumpycorn. Jonathan's tricks may be rubbish but this book is definitely magic!
Joy to the World (Frogmorton Farm Series)
by Jodi TaylorA Frogmorton Farm short story from the bestselling author of the Chronicles of St Mary's. Perfect for fans of Sarah Addison Allen, Kristen Ashley and Genevieve Cogman.It's Christmas time again and all is not well at Frogmorton Farm.Jenny and Russell's daughter, Joy, is growing up. Not quickly enough as far as she's concerned but far too quickly according to Russell.Father and daughter are at odds and suddenly the outlook is very dark indeed. That is until Thomas comes to the rescue. Everyone should have their own giant invisible golden horse . . . Readers love Jodi Taylor: 'It was just a glorious ride of wonderfully written words''Wish I could give it 10 stars''I LOVED THIS BOOK SO MUCH!!!''I could put a star for every page and it still wouldn't be enough''Loved every sentence''READ THIS BOOK!!!!!''I read this twice in back to back readings''Magical, witty and life-affirming''This is a beautifully told tale full of love, drama and intrigue''Jodi never fails to impress''Such beautifully developed characters, great writing and a wonderful touch of humour. Absolutely loved this story, its one I wont forget''I lost a whole night's sleep due to not being able to put it down. Believe me, it's worth the loss of sleep!'Everybody should have a Thomas!''Totally amazing read'
Juche - How to Live Well the North Korean Way
by B.J. Lovegood'Game changing. Juche is to shape the cultural zeitgeist just as The Little Book of Hygge did.' Fern Brady'A book to bring shame upon our depraved morals and our wilted-spinach governments.' Ivo GrahamHow did North Korea become the top-rated destination on Tripadvisor? The answer is Juche ...'In this earth-quaking lifestyle manifesto, I, Comrade Hyun-gi, will share with you the blueprint to a healthier, happier way of life. Juche will teach you westerners how sleeping under your desk yields a better work/life balance; why food rationing promotes a greater generosity of spirit; how sealed borders prevent the agony of long-distance relationships and why pensions prevent people from living in the moment. So come, dear Comrade, and step free from the landmines and tripwires of capitalism and march with me towards the socialist dawn that awaits us all.''As dry as it is daft - I loved it.' Jordan Brookes
Just As You Are
by Kate MathiesonYou will LOVE this wonderfully warm-hearted and laugh-out-loud funny romantic comedy for fans of Sophie Ranald, Mhairi McFarlane and Sophie Kinsella.
Just Between Friends
by Rosie Nixon‘I couldn’t put it down’ Lorraine Kelly ’A relatable, wryly funny tale’ Red ‘Every new mum will want to read this’ Adele Parks ‘Compulsive reading’ Rebecca Thornton, author of The Fallout
Just Friends: The hilarious rom-com you won’t want to miss in 2020
by Holly McCullochIt’s easy to put someone in the friend zone. But what happens if you change your mind? Bea isn’t happy. Desperate for a change, she looks to her friends for inspiration. Every single one of them is paired off, perhaps that’s what she needs too.So, she starts dating again. But everywhere she goes – amid the hilarious and scarring dates – there’s Peter. Good old, oddball Peter, her closest friend from university. He’s always been firmly in the friend zone but something’s happened lately – he seems taller, more handsome and suddenly making him smile is Bea’s favourite thing.But how can Bea possibly risk their friendship? And how do you even go about taking someone out of the friend zone? What if Bea and Peter were only ever meant to be just friends…
Just Like You: A Novel
by Nick Hornby'A charming - and sharp - love story about what it means to fall for someone who is your polar opposite' Sunday Telegraph_______________________________________________________Lucy married just the sort of man you might expect: a university graduate who runs his own business. Unfortunately he turned out to have serious dependency issues.Joseph is shaking off the memory of his last date, a girl who ticked all the right boxes and also drove him up the wall.On an average Saturday morning in a butcher's shop in North London, Lucy and Joseph meet on opposite sides of the counter. She is a teacher and mother of two, with a past she is trying to forget; he is an aspiring DJ with a wide-open future that maybe needs to start becoming more focused. Lucy and Joseph are opposites in almost all ways. Can something life-changing grow from uncommon ground?Nick Hornby's brilliantly observed, tender and brutally funny new novel gets to the heart of what it means to fall headlong in love with the best possible person - someone who may not be just like you at all._____________________________________________'Sparkles with tip-top dialogue and pin-sharp comic timing' Daily Mail'Frequently funny, consistently engaging ... it has great warmth in its heart' Observer'Hilarious and heart-wrenching' Woman and Home, Best Books to Look Forward to this Summer
Kate and Clara's Curious Cornish Craft Shop: The heart-warming, romantic read we all need right now
by Ali McNamaraWelcome to the glorious little Cornish town of St Felix - where romance and magic sparkle in the summer air'St Felix has stolen my heart yet again; a perfect, sparkling, summer read.' Cathy BramleyKate thinks all her wishes have come true when she opens her own little craft shop in the idyllic harbour town of St Felix.But she soon finds a mystery lingers in her new shop - a sixty-year-old love story told through beautiful paintings and intricate embroideries. Jack, the owner of the nearby art shop, volunteers to help Kate unravel the mystery, but in doing so they realise their own lives share some uncanny similarities with Clara and Arty, their 1950s counterparts . . .Can Kate and Jack put right a decades-old wrong, and maybe find their own happy ending on the way?*Praise for Ali McNamara:'Fun and endearing' Katie Fforde'Perfect easy reading' SunAn irresistible, feel-good story infused with infectious humour' Miranda Dickins'Funny and light-hearted' Heat
Katie’s Cornish Kitchen
by Rosie ChambersKindness, community and cake are all on the menu at Katie’s Cornish Kitchen A lovely heartwarming summery read to escape with’ – Netgalley reviewer 5 stars
Keeping Mum: A life-affirming funny and feel-good story about fathers and sons
by James Gould-BournFor fans of Nick Hornby, Mike Gayle, Jojo Moyes and Tony Parsons' Man and Boy.Danny Malooley's life is falling apart.He's a single parent with an eleven-year-old son, Will, who hasn't spoken since the death of his mother in a car crash fourteen months ago. He's being pursued by a dodgy landlord for unpaid rent and, to make matters worse, he's just lost his job on a building site. Struggling to find work, and desperate for money, Danny decides to do what anyone in his position would do. He becomes a dancing panda.After seeing street performers in his local park raking it in, he puts all sense of pride aside and spends his last fiver on a vomit-ridden costume... only to discover that the humiliation of his terrible rhythm is worth it. Not because he's flush with cash (quite the opposite) but Will has finally spoken to him for the first time since his mother's death. The problem is Will is unaware that the panda is in fact his father, and Danny doesn't want to reveal his true identity in case Will stops talking to him. But Danny can't keep up the ruse forever. A surprising, laugh-out-loud and uplifting story of a father and son reconnecting in the most unlikely of circumstances.
Kid Normal and the Final Five (Kid Normal)
by Greg James Chris SmithThe epic conclusion to the awesome, award-winning, bestselling, super-charged KID NORMAL series by Greg James and Chris Smith. Murph Cooper and the Super Zeroes are about to face their greatest challenge yet ... the general public!The Heroes' Alliance has operated in secret for decades, but that's all set to change. Super-smarmy ubervillain Nicholas Knox has a plan to become the planet's most powerful leader, and he's using the Heroes to do it. He's revealed the existence of Heroes to the world at large, painting them as mad, bad and dangerous to know. With fear and suspicion of Capes growing amongst the public, Heroes are forced underground, making it harder than ever to do their duty and combat evil wherever they find it. And all the while Knox is reaping the rewards of their efforts ...Can Kid Normal take down Knox and prove that superheroes aren't the enemy?
Kid Normal and the Shadow Machine: Kid Normal 3 (Kid Normal)
by Chris Smith Greg JamesAfter a dramatic jailbreak at a top-secret prison, the planet's most dangerous supervillains are on the loose! Luckily, Murph Cooper and the Super Zeroes are on hand to chase them down. But though they manage to bring in a whole host of bad guys, they can't find their nemesis Magpie anywhere. Little do they know that he's linked up with another old enemy.... the super smarmy Nicholas Knox is back! Together, they've developed a dastardly machine that can GIVE people superpowers! In the wrong hands, it has the potential to bring about the end of the World of Heroes as we know it … and it just happens to be in the wrongest hands of all. Will the Super Zeroes triumph against the odds as they use their unusual talents and wits to bring down the world's craftiest villains?