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The Pointless Leopard: What Good are Kids Anyway?
by Colas GutmanIn this witty tale of insistent parents and talking animals, a child questions his purpose. In the country, there's nothing to do, except: admire. It's the same as being bored, but with your eyes wide open.The hilarious story of grumpy city-child Leonard, forced to go for country walks with his greenery-loving mum and dad, is a wonderful reminder of what use we may be to the world. What do we know? What can we do? And is any of it of real value?The Pointless Leopard is a charming tale for all, about the parts we play in the lives of others.
Poison Arrows
by Morag PruntyChristian is blond haired, blue eyed, and not just your average good looking boy - he's an angel. And when he's sent down from the heavenly offices above to sort out the love lives of the citizens of Gorb, a small town in the West of Ireland, he thinks he's got an easy billet - okay, he's not sure how he's going to drink all the cups of tea when he can't ingest, and maybe it's not as glamorous as Paris, but his job should still be a doddle. The complex lives of the people of Gorb are many fold: there's Mary, still a virgin, not bitter, but depserate to taste the real thing; Sandra, a Northern lap dancer, ready to give up all the grinding and bumping for life back in her roots; Moses, all flicked-back mullet and continually unloved, and Rose, once a true Irish beauty, and now a long suffering wife. And there are plenty more . . . .It is up to Christian - with a little help from his friends - to gild his arrow and point them at the hearts of those who need him most, but just how true is his aim? Highly original and very funny, this is an endearing novel of love, life and all that it carries from the best-selling author of Disco Daddy.
The Poison Song (The Winnowing Flame Trilogy #3)
by Jen WilliamsFrom British Fantasy Award-winning author, Jen Williams, comes the electrifying conclusion to the Winnowing Flame trilogy. Exhilarating epic fantasy for fans of Robin Hobb. 'One of the best fantasy novels of the year, if not the decade' James Oswald 'A fitting finale, triumphant and bittersweet in all the best ways' SciFiNow All is chaos. All is confusion. The Jure'lia are weak, but the war is far from over. Ebora was once a glorious city, defended by legendary warriors and celebrated in song. Now refugees from every corner of Sarn seek shelter within its crumbling walls, and the enemy that has poisoned their land won't lie dormant for long. The deep-rooted connection that Tormalin, Noon and the scholar Vintage share with their Eboran war-beasts has kept them alive so far. But with Tor distracted, and his sister Hestillion hell-bent on bringing ruthless order to the next Jure'lia attack, the people of Sarn need all the help they can get. Noon is no stranger to playing with fire and knows just where to recruit a new - and powerful - army. But even she underestimates the epic quest that is to come. It is a journey wrought with pain and sacrifice - a reckoning that will change the face of Sarn forever. Join forces with the heroes of the WINNOWING FLAME TRILOGY as they strive to silence the Jure'lia's poison song once and for all.What readers are saying about the WINNOWING FLAME trilogy:'Brilliantly creative fantasy''Great pacing, top-notch writing, quality characterisation, plenty of action!''More action, scarier monsters and a more expansive story''Be ready for some great reveals and twists that may break your heart, but that will overall leave you fist pumping the air''The world building continues to blow my mind'
The Polabores: Book 10 (Nelly the Monster Sitter #10)
by Kes GrayNelly's monster sitting adventures are always full of surprises. She certainly can't believe it when she sits a monster who wants to do absolutely nothing! Or when she has to rescue the smallest monster she's encountered yet - but nothing can prepare her for spending Christmas Day with the Dendrilegs!The polarbores like to do absolutely nothing, so Nelly is in for a dull night. But when she invites Asti round to liven things up, she wishes her evening was a little less eventful...
Polgara the Sorceress: 2-book Collection (The\malloreon Ser.)
by David Eddings Leigh EddingsThe last and most amazing volume in the legendary Belgariad series: the story of the queen of truth, love, rage and destiny, Polgara the Sorceress.
Polite Society
by Mahesh Rao'Is it possible to marry a book? Because Polite Society is so funny, smart, sophisticated, and captivating, you just want to spend your whole life with it. It was love at first sight from the very first page' Kevin Kwan, author of CRAZY RICH ASIANSAnia is the beautiful, clever and very slightly bored scion of a rich Indian family whose machinations soon lead her down the primrose path of match-making - first for her aunt ('There was one in most of the grand houses in Delhi, usually beached somewhere on the upper floors.') and then for her friend Dimple. Set against the background of 'polite' Delhi society, it is rich with stiletto-sharp observation, is a delightful social comedy, and yet is poignant, too.'Witty, smart, compelling' Kamila Shamsie, author of Home Fire
Political Wit: Quips and Quotes from the Back Benches and Beyond (Wit Ser.)
by Steven GaugeOrder, order! After a long day at the dispatch box, when your honourable friend’s white paper has made you feel green and your poll ratings have slumped to a new low, hunker down in Speakers’ Corner with this grand coalition of political quips and quotes – you’ll be ready to take on the opposition at any time!
Political Wit: Quips and Quotes from the Back Benches and Beyond (Wit Ser.)
by Steven GaugeOrder, order! After a long day at the dispatch box, when your honourable friend’s white paper has made you feel green and your poll ratings have slumped to a new low, hunker down in Speakers’ Corner with this grand coalition of political quips and quotes – you’ll be ready to take on Jeremy Paxman again in no time!
Politically Homeless
by Matt Forde'Rarely is such an important book this funny. And rarely is such a funny book this important' - RICHARD OSMAN'Funny, fierce and genuinely moving' - J. K. ROWLING'It would be impressive for anyone to bring such surgical precision to either comedy or political analysis. Forde's ability to bring it to both - in spades - is truly remarkable. A sparkling jewel of a book' - JAMES O'BRIEN'The second funniest book I have read about being a Labour supporter from Blair to Brexit' - JOHN O'FARRELL'Matt Forde is brilliant at finding the comedy which often accompanies political life. This book made me laugh out loud - and wince in recognition' - TONY BLAIR'This book is smarter and funnier than Donald Trump. Matt Forde was so bad at politics that I'd have considered working for him' - ANTHONY SCARAMUCCI'That Matt Forde is able to make the current political shit-show funny shows his genius. You'll be laughing too hard to notice, but this is a very clever book' - RUTH DAVIDSON'Definitely one of the books I will claim to have read this year' - JACK DEE'Absolutely brilliant. I didn't want the book to end but I'm glad Fordy's political career did. And I mean that as both a compliment and not a compliment' - RUSSELL HOWARD-----------Part memoir, part behind-the-scenes insider view, Politically Homeless is both a fascinating and funny book for anyone who feels annoyed by the current state of politics. Which should be around 65 million people in the UK alone.Matt Forde has been obsessed with politics ever since he was 9 years old. Raised by a single mum on benefits in inner city Nottingham, he joined the Socialist Workers Party as soon as he could, foisted issues of Marxism Today on innocent bystanders and attended his first political party conference. From then on, despite some career suicide moments such as chatting to the Prime Minister at Number 10 while badly drunk, Matt's whole future looked wedded to the Labour Party as he started working for MPs in dingy back rooms in Nottinghamshire.But then Labour started to fall apart, and so did Matt's sense of purpose. With the rise of Corbyn, Brexit and Trump, his love for politics that had been so profound began to quickly crumble.Exploring themes such as tribalism, the curse of complacency and why some politicians refuse to speak normally, Politically Homeless is a hugely entertaining book of (often hilarious) personal stories and thought-provoking insights into this complicated world. And despite everything, Matt's passion is still there. Through hosting his award-winning weekly podcast, 'The Political Party' (over 5 million downloads) involving interviews with some of politics' most powerful and notorious figures including Tony Blair, Nicola Sturgeon, Sadiq Khan, Michael Heseltine, Nigel Farage and Jacob Rees-Mogg and performing critically acclaimed stand-up comedy shows, Matt has been able to keep enough faith that politics will get better. Maybe.
The Politician: The unmissable new thriller with an unforgettable detective – a must-read series this Christmas 2022 (A DS Cross Thriller)
by Tim Sullivan'I am insanely in love with George Cross, a perfect detective for our time and for all time' Stephen Fry A ransacked room. A dead politician. A burglary gone wrong – or a staged murder?THE DETECTIVEDS George Cross loves puzzles – he's good at them – and he immediately spots one when he begins investigating the death of former mayor Peggy Frampton. It looks like a burglary that went horribly wrong to most but George can see what others can't – that this was murder.THE PUZZLEAfter her political career ended, Peggy became a controversial blogger whose forthright opinions attracted a battalion of online trolls. And then there's her family: an unfaithful husband and a gambling-addicted son. With yet more enemies in her past, the potential suspects are unending.THE SUSPECTSCross must unpick the never-ending list of seedy connections to find her killer – but the sheer number of suspects is clouding his usually impeccable logic. He's a relentlessly methodical detective, but no case can last forever. And politics can be a dangerous game – especially for people who don't know the rules . . .Perfect for fans of M.W. Craven, Peter James and Joy Ellis, The Politician is part of the DS George Cross thriller series, which can be read in any order.'True characters, a fresh setting, and a good mystery – this one's got the lot.' The Morning StarWhy readers love George Cross . . . 'The fact that Cross has been diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder makes him just as intriguing as the murder mystery' The Times 'A British detective for the 21st century who will be hard to forget' Daily Mail 'A compelling, suspenseful police procedural with an intimate, positive insight into living on the autistic spectrum' Woman 'The enigmatic DS Cross is a joy to get to know' Reader Review 'One hell of a detective' Reader review
Politicians, Partisans, and Parasites: My Adventures in Cable News
by Tucker CarlsonFrom the host of Tucker Carlson Tonight on Fox News comes a wild and informative ride behind the scenes of a news correspondent. "A must read for Americans of any party." - Rev. Al SharptonPolitical pundit Tucker Carlson cracks commentary on all things Washington with the acerbic wit and razor-sharp insight that have made him a beloved conservative commentator. An unabashed insider whose profile is unmatched, Carlson stands ready to pounce on anyone and everyone who dares enter the political fray. Whether it's the towel-snapping prowess of former presidents or the dumbfounding exploits of his predecessors, there is no sacred ground. Carlson's debut covers his beat with equal parts hilarity and insight in a jocular review that both exposes and defends the absurdity that underlies the world of politics.
The Politics of British Stand-up Comedy: The New Alternative (Palgrave Studies in Comedy)
by Sophie QuirkThis Palgrave Pivot questions how a new generation of alternative stand-up comedians and the political world continue to shape and influence each other. The Alternative Comedy Movement of the late 1970s and 1980s can be described as a time of unruly experimentation and left-wing radicalism. This book examines how alternative comedians continue to celebrate these characteristics in the twenty-first century, while also moving into a distinct phase of artistic development as the political context of the 1970s and 1980s loses its immediacy. Sophie Quirk draws on original interviews with comedians including Tom Allen, Josie Long, John-Luke Roberts and Tony Law to chart how alternative comedians are shaped by, and in turn respond to, contemporary political challenges from neoliberalism to Brexit, class controversy to commercialism. She argues that many of our assumptions about comedy’s politics must be challenged and updated. This book is essential reading for anyone who wants to understand the working methods and values of today’s alternative comedians.
The Polyglot Lovers
by Lina Wolff‘Do you have to stare like that?’ I asked.‘Think about the actors in porn. They’ve got no problem showing themselves off.’‘Think about when I broke your nose,’ I replied.Ellinor is thirty-six. She wears soft black sweatpants and a Michelin Man jacket. She fights. Smart and unsentimental, she tries her hand at online dating, only to be stranded by a snowstorm with a literary critic. Cut to Max Lamas, an author who dreams of a polyglot lover, a woman who will understand him—in every tongue. His search takes him to Italy, where he befriends a marchesa whose old Roman family is on the brink of ruin. At the heart of this literary intrigue is a handwritten manuscript that leaves no one unaffected.The Polyglot Lovers is a fiercely witty and nuanced contribution to feminism in the #metoo era. Pleasure is an elusive thing, love even more so.
Pondweed
by Lisa BlowerA love story in the slow lane about loss and getting lost—two childhood sweethearts take a trip via pints, ponds and pitstops to find their future on a road less travelled from Stoke-on-Trent to WalesApparently, we spend almost two weeks of our life completely lost. If you add up all the times you take a wrong turn or find yourself somewhere you don’t want to be, it equates to fourteen days of essentially being missing.One Monday afternoon, around three o’clock, pond supplies salesman Selwyn Robby arrives home towing the Toogood Aquatics exhibition caravan and orders his like-wife, Imogen ‘Ginny’ Dare, to get into the car. He’s taking her on a little holiday, he says. To Wales. So begins their road trip west, via blasts from Selwyn’s past, and a fortnight’s journey of self-discovery for them both. But it’s a fishy business towing this caravan, with its saucy mermaid curtains and fully stocked bar, and Ginny must untangle the pondweed to get to the bottom of it, even it does mean unearthing her own murky past to find out.
Pontoon: A Lake Wobegon Novel
by Garrison KeillorIn Lake Wobegon lives a good Lutheran lady who wishes for her ashes placed inside a bowling ball and dropped into the lake. Meanwhile, a wedding between a veterinary aromatherapist and her boyfriend Brent is set to take place aboard a pontoon boat. A delegation of renegade Lutheran pastors from Denmark has come to town, and there's Raoul of the cigars and tinted shades, come to visit his elderly lover. All is in readiness for the wedding - the French champagne, the flying Elvis, the giant duck decoys - and then something quite unexpected happens . . .
Pony Lover's Joke Book: Hundreds of laughs for everyone who loves ponies and everything to do with them
by Suzan St MaurHundreds of laughs for everyone who loves ponies and everything to do with them
Poo! Is That You? (Lenny Learns About . . . #4)
by Clare Helen WelshLenny the Lemur is on holiday in the Amazon rainforest. He's just settling down for a nice snooze, when a very yucky smell wafts past . . .Poo-ie! What or who could it be?Lenny sets off to track down the source of the nasty niff . . . Along the way, he meets lots of stinky creatures, finding out about the different smells they make and why.Learn about sloths, skunks, stinkbugs and more in the whiff-tastic Poo! Is That You? written by Clare Helen Welsh and illustrated by Nicola O'Byrne. Cleverly interweaving facts throughout, it also contains an information page at the back of the book, with a photo of each animal.
Pooping Pets: Hilarious Snaps of Doggos Taking a Dump
by Charlie EllisFeaturing comedic captions revealing what dogs are really thinking while they do their number twos, this eye-watering collection of photos is guaranteed to gross you out while cracking you upDogs gotta defecate, just like people. But unlike us, they do it out in public. And we watch them in the act like the absolute weirdos we are. Sometimes we even take pictures.What must our canine companions think of all this? Well, Pooping Pets: The Dog Edition is here to capture and share these priceless moments in all their disgusting glory. Within its pages, you’ll find the private thoughts of dogs as they empty their bow-wow-wow-els, including:Hehehe, you’ll be picking this up in a minute!Err, could you not watch me while I birth this butt-log?Bears aren’t the only creatures that lay one out in the woods!Not for the faint-hearted, but the perfect gift for lovers of toilet humour, this poo-blication is a steaming tribute to the bodily functions of our four-legged friends.
Pooping Pets: Hilarious Snaps of Kitties Taking a Dump
by Charlie EllisFeaturing comedic captions revealing what cats are really thinking while they do their number twos, this eye-watering collection of photos is guaranteed to gross you out while cracking you upCats gotta crap, just like people. But unlike us, they do it where we can see it. And we watch them in the act like the absolute weirdos we are. Sometimes we even take pictures.What must our feline companions think of all this? Well, Pooping Pets: The Cat Edition is here to capture and share these priceless moments in all their disgusting glory. Within its pages, you’ll find the private thoughts of cats as they do their business, including:Did you say your lovely lawn needs some fresh fertilizer?If you rush me, I’ll save a few nuggets for your slippers!Can you make yourself useful and come wipe up?Not for the faint-hearted, but the perfect gift for lovers of toilet humour, this poo-blication is a steaming tribute to the bodily functions of our four-legged friends.
Poor Souls
by Joseph ConnollyOn their way to a tedious dinner party with a couple they loathe, Barry and Susan find themselves in a stranglehold amidst a smashed bottle of whisky. As Barry's gambling debts propel him to desperate measures and Susan's boredom finds relief in Barry's best friend, the poor souls tumble from miserable mundanity into social apocalypse. In an acid portrayal of boozing, fornicating, money-grubbing and extreme marital angst, Connolly shows himself to be a master of the genre with wickedly comic panache.
Pop!: Fizzy drinks. A trillion dollars. The adventure that ends with a bang.
by Mitch JohnsonAn outrageous theft. A huge reward. Two friends on the run. An uproariously funny, action-packed new adventure about the power of courage, standing up for what's right, and fizzy drinks, from the award-winning author of Kick.Queenie de la Cruz stares out at the ocean and dreams of a world beyond her small-town. She's about to get her wish... When the priceless recipe to the world's most popular drink - thought to be lost forever - washes up at her feet, Queenie's life instantly changes. Everyone wants it, and with a $10 million bounty on her head, Queenie's soon on the run. Pursued by bounty hunters, black-ops helicopters and angry mobs, Queenie's journey involves a mad scientist, a tin foil hat-wearing conspiracy theorist, a crocodile and an unlikely new friend, Todd. But being on the run also makes Queenie begin to see the world around her more clearly - a world in which a big corporation's excess has left the planet covered in its plastic bottles and waste. Suddenly, the home she always dreamed of escaping, and the ocean she grew up with and took for granted, don't seem so bad.If Queenie and Todd can bring down the bad guys, maybe she can go back home and make a difference...
Pop Goes the Weasel: The Secret Meanings of Nursery Rhymes
by Albert JackMr Jack has been nimble and he’s been quick, searching through the history of nursery rhymes and he’s found out all kind of plum tales, just like little Jack Horner. He's unearthed the answers to some very curious questions...Who were Mary Quite Contrary and Georgie Porgie? How could Hey Diddle Diddle offer an essential astronomy lesson? And if Ring a Ring a Roses isn’t about catching the plague, then, what is it really about? The ingenious book delves into the hidden meanings of the nursery rhymes and songs we all know so well and discovers all kinds of strange tales ranging from Viking raids to firewalking and from political rebellion to slaves being smuggled to freedom. Children have always played at being grown up and all kinds of episodes in our history are still being re-enacted today in a series of dark games (Oranges and Lemons traces a condemned man’s journey across London to his execution, Goosie Gander is about dragging a hidden Catholic priest to prison) And there are many many more… Full of vivid illustrations and with each verse reproduced, here are a multitude of surprising stories you won’t be able to resist passing on to everyone you know. Your childhood songs and rhymes will never sound the same again.
Pop Sonnets: Shakespearean Spins On Your Favorite Songs
by Erik Didriksen‘One of the very best collections of pop songs written in the style of William Shakespeare that I’ve read so far this year!’ ‘Weird Al’ Yankovic ‘Ever wonder what Taylor Swift and Beyoncé would sound like in iambic pentameter? We hadn’t either, but now we can’t get enough’ TIME ‘Amazing’ Buzzfeed
Popcorn: A Novel (Contemporary Dramatists Ser.)
by Ben EltonBruce shoots movies. Wayne and Scout shoot to kill. In a single night they find out the hard way what's real and what's not, who's the hero and who's the villain. The USA watches slack-jawed as Bruce and Wayne together resolve some serious questions. Does Bruce use erection cream? Does art imitate life or does life simply imitate bad art? And most of all, does sugar-pie really love his honeybun?