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EUrrgh!: Is it Just Me or is Europe merde?
by Mark LeighWhat's wrong with Europe?Ignoring the fact that the EU is a grotesque, officious money sucking totalitarian machine that devours national sovereignty and pukes out unwanted, unwelcome and intrusive legislation, there's a whole variety of other reasons including:Shops that open at 10am and close at 4pm - with a two-hour lunch break in between.Oompah bands.Restaurant staff with the manners of a gibbon and the sense of urgency of a sloth.Parisians.Police forces who are the bastard offspring of the Gestapo and the Stasi.The whole concept of 'mañana.'National costumes that are as preposterous as they are pointless. Polish spelling.Drivers who view speed limits as targets rather than warnings.Yodelling.Bouzouki music. Street signs that are a homage to small typography rather than an actual guide to your location.Donkey abuse.Women who act under the misguided idea that armpit hair is remotely sexy.The 24hr clock.Using a comma as a decimal point.Father Abraham and the Smurfs.Eurodisco.Eurozone.Eurotrash.Eurovision.Anything else preceded by the word 'Euro' (apart from Euro sceptic).The Cheeky Girls. This is less of a guidebook and more of a warning...
The Loo Companion: Are You Sitting Comfortably?
by Mark LeighPull up a seat and take a pit stop with this amusing toilet book. The Loo Companion is a hilarious and entertaining addition to any bathroom, guaranteed to expand your mind and make you laugh whenever nature calls. This book contains pages of trivia, news stories, historic references, quotes, anecdotes, statistics, sudoku, jokes, quizzes, puzzles, and more ... all written in bitesized chunks, perfect for the reader to dip into - however long they're otherwise 'engaged'. Filled with humorous facts about toilet-related activity, as well as a compendium of some more generic humour, there is something for everyone. So whenever you're going to see a man about a dog, this book will guarantee you'll never be bored and keep you glued to your seat.
The Older Person's Guide to New Stuff: From Android to Zoella, a complete guide to the modern world for the easily perplexed
by Mark LeighTHE PERFECT GIFT FOR THE OLDER PERSON IN YOUR LIFE!A handy guide for anyone who says, 'The Facebook' or 'The Google' or who asks, 'Do they deliver emails on Sunday?' This is a book for the elderly and not-so-elderly who are bamboozled not just by the technology of the contemporary world, but also various modern concepts and conceits that the more youthful take for granted.It explains a host of modern concepts and technologies that have entered everyday use and parlance but which are alien (and possibly frightening) not just to the elderly - but probably also to anyone over 45. These concepts are universal and should therefore appeal to readers in the UK, Australia, US and Europe. The definitions are all real, but entertaining, making use of easy-to-understand 'real world' references or examples to explain them.
Release Your Inner Old Fart
by Mark LeighIt doesn't take much to get an Old Fart complaining - whether it's about the price of electricity, reality TV, muesli, the metric system, self-checkouts or smoothies. It seems the whole world has it in for him and it's no wonder that he finds himself beginning most sentences with 'I remember when...' and ending them with, 'Those were the days.' Hilariously cynical and gloom-laden, this book contains diatribes, rants, anecdotes and advice for Old Farts everywhere - making life slightly more bearable in the constant struggle against the irritations of modern-day living.
Teddy Bears of the Rich and Famous
by Mark LeighA fantastic gift book for all ages which imagines what the teddy bears of the rich and famous would look like.Even the most tyrannical of despots or the most scholarly of geniuses probably had a 'Mister Cuddles' or 'Big Ted' at some point in their childhood. As the book's title suggests, this is a collection of bears that could have belonged to the rich and famous. Whether it's politicians, heads of state, artists, spiritual leaders, inventors, revolutionaries, entertainers or entrepreneurs, the teddy bears reflect the personalities/traits of their owners.
Weird Shit: True Stories to Shock, Stun, Astound and Amaze
by Mark LeighHave you heard, seen or read about something so bizarre and incredible that it leaves you bamboozled for the rest of the day? No? Then you haven't read Weird Sh!t. This eccentric mix of news stories, events concepts and conceits reveals a world full of downright weird and wonderful shit.
Foul-Mouthed Pets
by Mark Leigh Mike LepineOh dear. It seems that our furry friends have picked up some very bad language. From gutter-mouthed guppies to Fidos that say ‘f***!’, Foul-Mouthed Pets combines comical and cute photos with inappropriate captions to tickle the belly of animal lovers everywhere.
Jokes for Funny Kids: 9 Year Olds
by Jonny LeightonA new title in the 'Buster Laugh-a-lot' series, this hilarious collection features over 300 gags for 9-year-olds to share.What do you call a boy opening a bag of crisps?Russell.What do dogs love to dance to?Pup music.What do mermaids do on their birthday?Shell-abrate!Ten side-splitting chapters cover a range of themes perfect for 9-year-olds to read and share with their friends and family – including ‘Spy Sillies’, ‘Mythical Mayhem’, ‘It’s All in the Name’, ‘Holiday Howlers’ and ‘Arty Antics’, as well as ridiculously random collections of ‘Bonkers Banter’ and ‘Jolly Jesters’. Designed to be easy to read and with wonderfully silly illustrations by Andrew Pinder for extra laughs, this laugh-out-loud collection will keep young jokers entertained for hours on end.Also available in the 'Buster Laugh-a-lot' series:9781780556260 Jokes for Funny Kids: 6 Year Olds9781780556246 Jokes for Funny Kids: 7 Year Olds9781780556253 Jokes for Funny Kids: 8 Year Olds9781780557168 The Jumbo Joke Book for Funny Kids9781780557083 The Christmas Joke Book for Funny Kids9781780557847 Animal Jokes for Funny Kids9781780557854 Knock Knock Jokes for Funny Kids9781780559070 Dinosaur Jokes for Funny Kids9781780559087 Silly Jokes for Funny KidsPublishing in 2023:9781780559636 Jokes for Funny Kids: 5 Year Olds9781780559650 Jokes for Funny Kids: 10 Year Olds9781780559438 Gross Jokes for Funny Kids
Daniel Isn’t Talking (Thorndike Core Ser.)
by Marti LeimbachA powerful novel exploring the effects of autism on a young family from Marti Leimbach, author of the international bestseller ‘Dying Young’, who has experienced and dealt with the condition within her immediate family.
A Cornish Christmas Murder (A Nosey Parker Cozy Mystery #4)
by Fiona Leitch‘A sparklingly delicious confection to satisfy the mystery reader’s appetite’ Helena Dixon, bestselling author of the Miss Underhay Mysteries A PINCH OF PARANOIA
A Cornish Recipe for Murder (A Nosey Parker Cozy Mystery #5)
by Fiona Leitch‘A sparklingly delicious confection to satisfy the mystery reader’s appetite’ Helena Dixon, bestselling author of the Miss Underhay Mysteries Jodie ‘Nosey’ Parker is back!
A Cornish Seaside Murder (A Nosey Parker Cozy Mystery #6)
by Fiona Leitch‘As twisty-turny as a Cornish lane in high summer’J.M. Hall, author of A Spoonful of Murder ‘A sparklingly delicious confection to satisfy the mystery reader’s appetite’Helena Dixon, bestselling author of the Miss Underhay Mysteries Don’t miss the next Jodie ‘Nosey’ Parker cozy mystery!
Murder on the Menu: The first in a gripping new cozy mystery series (A Nosey Parker Cozy Mystery #1)
by Fiona Leitch‘A sparklingly delicious confection to satisfy the mystery reader's appetite’ Helena Dixon, bestselling author of the Miss Underhay Mysteries The first book in a NEW cosy mystery series!
A Murder Under the Mistletoe (A Nosey Parker Cozy Mystery #4)
by Fiona Leitch‘A sparklingly delicious confection to satisfy the mystery reader’s appetite’ Helena Dixon, bestselling author of the Miss Underhay Mysteries THE PERFECT RECIPE
A Sprinkle of Sabotage (A Nosey Parker Cosy Mystery #3)
by Fiona LeitchDon’t miss the next exciting installment in the Nosey Parker series!
The Choral Society
by Prue LeithA laugh-out-loud, feelgood novel from Great British Bake Off judge Prue Leith. 'Curl up with a cup of tea and enjoy' The TimesFriendship, sex, shopping, singing - even love: life doesn't end at fifty! But Lucy, recently widowed, a food journalist who's lost her job, and Joanna, successful business woman facing a future alone, secretly fear that it might. Only much divorced Rebecca is ever confident of happiness just round the corner. The women have joined a choir for very different reasons. Lucy is obeying her bossy daughter who prescribes singing as a cure for grief. For Joanna failure is not an option and she's tackling her inability to sing a note. And Rebecca is unashamedly looking for a new mate. When these three women decide to combine their talents to turn a run-down hotel on the Cornish coast into a spa offering holiday courses, conflict is bound to result. It's clear that the choir has taught them a good deal more than how to sing...
Our Times in Rhymes: Being a Prosodical Chronicle of Our Damnable Age
by Sam LeithA parliament of fools, or a confederacy of dunces? Blethering celebrities and blundering politicians, royal babies and right royal cock-ups, milkshake madness and vegan sausage rolls - and, of course, the long and winding road to Brexit. If ever the times were ripe for a return to the high days of Augustan satire, it’s now – and the Spectator’s literary editor Sam Leith provides it. Our Times in Rhymes is a waspish, affectionate and very funny look at the state of our nation as it – let's be even-handed - teeters on the cliff-edge of a marvellous opportunity. Here is all the insanity and inanity of 2019, month by cherishable month, rendered in galloping comic verse and paired with satirical drawings by the brilliant cartoonist Edith Pritchett. It makes the perfect Christmas stocking filler for anyone who needs a good laugh at the damnable times we live in.
Sod's Law: Why Life Always Lands Butter Side Down
by Sam LeithTo every explorer with his map upside down, to every air-traffic controller suddenly receiving Magic FM through his headphones, to every astronomer whose new planet turns out to be a bit of bran-flake on the eyepiece of his telescope, Sod's Law says: you are not alone. Sam Leith tells the hilarious - and painful - stories of the unsinkable boat that sunk, the unbeatable horse that lost, and the fireproof theatre that burned to the ground. Sod's Law demonstrates that the entire universe is actually set up to ensure that your toast always lands butter side down and, what's more, that it lands precisely where the cat has shed hair all over the carpet.In this age of doubt, fewer and fewer of us are able to believe that a higher power takes an interest in our fate. This book reassures us that indeed it does - and that that higher power is hell bent on buggering things up. Only by laughing heartlessly at the misfortunes of others can we make ourselves feel better. Sod's Law enables us to do just that.
A Northern Line Minute: The Northern Line (Penguin Underground Lines)
by William LeithWilliam Leith, author of The Hungry Years and Bits of Me Are Falling Apart, tells, in A Northern Line Minute, the darkly humorous tales of his escapades on the Tube - part of a series of twelve books tied to the twelve lines of the London Underground, as Tfl celebrates 150 years of the Tube with Penguin'The nervy prose of William Leith could not be more apt for the rather fraught Northern line, and his manic, anxious account ... is probably the most addictively readable thing [in the series]'-Observer'Phobic about tunnels, Leith renders his panic and chagrin brilliantly'-Evening Standard'Authors include the masterly John Lanchester, the children of Kids Company, comic John O'Farrell and social geographer Danny Dorling. Ranging from the polemical to the fantastical, the personal to the societal, they offer something for every taste. All experience the city as a cultural phenomenon and notice its nature and its people. Read individually they're delightful small reads, pulled together they offer a particular portrait of a global city' Evening Standard'Exquisitely diverse' The Times'Eclectic and broad-minded ... beautifully designed' Tom Cox, Observer'A fascinating collection with a wide range of styles and themes. The design qualities are excellent, as you might expect from Penguin with a consistent look and feel while allowing distinctive covers for each book. This is a very pleasing set of books' A Common Reader blog'The contrasts and transitions between books are as stirring as the books themselves ... A multidimensional literary jigsaw' Londonist'A series of short, sharp, city-based vignettes - some personal, some political and some pictorial ... each inimitable author finds that our city is complicated but ultimately connected, full of wit, and just the right amount of grit' Fabric Magazine'A collection of beautiful books' GraziaKnown for his personal writing and humour, William Leith is a journalist and author of, among others, The Hungry Years.
The Three Electroknights (Penguin Modern)
by Stanislaw Lem'What use to a being that lives beneath a sun are jewels of gas and silver stars of ice?'From a giant of twentieth-century science fiction, these four miniature space epics feature crazy inventors, surreal worlds, robot kings and madcap machines.Penguin Modern: fifty new books celebrating the pioneering spirit of the iconic Penguin Modern Classics series, with each one offering a concentrated hit of its contemporary, international flavour. Here are authors ranging from Kathy Acker to James Baldwin, Truman Capote to Stanislaw Lem and George Orwell to Shirley Jackson; essays radical and inspiring; poems moving and disturbing; stories surreal and fabulous; taking us from the deep South to modern Japan, New York's underground scene to the farthest reaches of outer space.
Dog Shaming
by Pascale LemireOur dogs are our best friends. They are always happy to see us. They comfort us in our times of need. They also eat our shoes, stain our carpets, and embarrass us in front of our guests.Based on the runaway web phenomenon, Dog Shaming features hilarious and adorable photos of petulant pups accompanied by notes detailing their misdeeds: waking sleeping babies, eating vomit, chasing postmen, unplugging alarm clocks, peeing on stuff, etc.So share in the shaming and laugh through your frustration as Dog Shaming reminds us that unconditional love goes both ways.
The Bastard Billionaire (Billionaire Bad Boys #3)
by Jessica LemmonA BILLIONAIRE BAD BOYS NOVELBeauty and the Beastly Billionaire . . . Eli Crane is one tough bastard. After an explosion left him injured and honorably discharged from the Marines, all he wants is to be left alone. Yet his brothers insist he take a greater role in the family business. They've hired him ten personal assistants-and Eli sent each one packing as fast as possible. But when beautiful number eleven walks through the door, Eli will do anything to make her stay.Isabella Sawyer's employment agency can't afford to lose Eli Crane's business. Her plan: to personally take on the role of his PA, and secure her reputation with the wealthy elite in Chicago. But this beauty and her hot billionaire bad boy soon find themselves mixing business with pleasure in the most delicious ways. And passionate, stubborn Isabella won't rest until she tames this wicked beast . . .
The Billionaire Bachelor (Billionaire Bad Boys #1)
by Jessica LemmonBONUS: Includes a complete Elizabeth Hayley novel from Bookshot Flames!Manwhore. That's what the board of directors--and the tabloids--thinks of billionaire bachelor Reese Crane. Ordinarily he couldn't care less, but his playboy past is preventing the board from naming him CEO of Crane Hotels. Nothing--and no one--will keep him from his life's legacy. They want a settled man to lead the company? Then that's exactly what he'll give them.Merina Van Heusen will do anything to get her parents' funky boutique hotel back--even marry cold-as-ice-but-sexy-as-hell Reese Crane. It's a simple business contract--six months of marriage, absolute secrecy, and the Van Heusen is all hers again. But when sparks fly between them, their passion quickly moves from the boardroom to the bedroom. And soon Merina is living her worst nightmare: falling in love with her husband.
The Billionaire Next Door (Billionaire Bad Boys #2)
by Jessica LemmonCan't Buy Me LoveIt's Tag Crane's job to be the life of the party. Traveling from one exotic locale to another is just part of running the luxurious Crane Hotel empire. But even paradise isn't perfect. Devising a new business strategy is keeping Tag up at night-and so is the Great Dane barking at all hours in the apartment below his. To muzzle the problem, Tag charges downstairs . . . right into the most beautiful, blond distraction he's ever seen.Dog-sitting by day, bartending by night. It's not exactly the life Rachel Foster dreamed of. But when Tag Crane rushes in, all mountain-man shoulders and obscenely sexy smile, needing her help for the Crane Hotels, it's a fantasy come true. What's the harm in a fun no-strings fling? Only a fool would give her heart to a billionaire player like Tag-until suddenly the one man who can't be caught is the one flirting with forever . . .