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Reacher's Rules: Life Lessons From Jack Reacher
by Lee Child Jack Reacher*Please note this is not a novel, but a companion book for Reacher fans* Reacher’s own rules for life are brought together in this irresistible collection of quotes, life lessons and wisdom from the man himself. As every Reacher fan knows, you don’t have to break the rules if you make the rules. If you want to survive in this world nothing else matters.Rule 1. When in doubt, drink coffee.Rule 2. Never volunteer for anything.Rule 3. Don’t break the furniture.Rule 4. Only one woman at a time.Rule 5. Show them what they’re messing with.‘I don’t want to put the world to rights, I just don’t like people who put the world to wrongs’‘Either you’ll walk out of here yourself, or you’ll be carried out in a bucket’‘I’m not scared of anybody… But I certainly preferred it when he was dead’If you’ve read the books, you’ll love this. If you haven’t read the books, what are you waiting for?
Really Weird Removals.com (Kelpies Ser.)
by Daniela SacerdotiShortlisted for the Scottish Children's Book Award 2013. Mischievous fairies? Smelly troll? Email the Really Weird Removals company! Luca and Valentina's Uncle Alistair runs a pest control business. But the Really Weird Removals Company catches supernatural creatures! When the children join Alistair's team they befriend a lonely ghost, rescue a stranded sea serpent, and trap a cat-eating troll. But the paranormal world is also packed with danger and secrets. There are kelpies, vampires and dragons. Will Luca and Valentina discover more than they can handle?
Red Dog/Blue Dog: When Pooches Get Political
by Chuck Sambuchino&“Totally worth the Milk-bones I traded for it.&” —Bo Obama&“So hilarious I peed on the rug.&” —Barney Bush Politics Goes to the Dogs Have you ever considered that man&’s best friend has political leanings just like we do? Red Dog / Blue Dog reveals that some tails wag to the left and others to the right! With 140 full-color photos of opinionated pooches accompanied by clever captions from the dogs themselves, this amusing book will add some much-needed levity to politics— whatever side of the political spectrum you are on.
Release Your Inner Old Fart
by Mark LeighIt doesn't take much to get an Old Fart complaining - whether it's about the price of electricity, reality TV, muesli, the metric system, self-checkouts or smoothies. It seems the whole world has it in for him and it's no wonder that he finds himself beginning most sentences with 'I remember when...' and ending them with, 'Those were the days.' Hilariously cynical and gloom-laden, this book contains diatribes, rants, anecdotes and advice for Old Farts everywhere - making life slightly more bearable in the constant struggle against the irritations of modern-day living.
Return to Castle Bay
by Phillipa AshleyBy the bestselling author of Summer at the Cornish Café, discover the perfect summer read.'Warm and funny and feel-good. The best sort of holiday read' Katie FfordeMiranda's taken great care to create a calm and ordered world for herself, and in her job as property manager of a spectacular island castle in Cornwall, she's had the castle running like clockwork. But this summer, its sexy owner returns to claim his birthright - and Miranda's careful life will never be the same again.Dark, handsome and with a rakish reputation, Jago St Merryn not only looks like a pirate but is intent on flogging the Mount to a soulless leisure corporation. Miranda faces the battle of her life as she tries to persuade him to change his mind. But if she's going to convince him, she'll have to face some secrets from her past that she'd much rather keep hidden away - and she might even have to risk opening up her heart...This lovely summer story is the perfect escape - take an armchair holiday to the spectacular Cornish countryside alongside a heroine who is determined to keep fighting for her castle of dreams.'Lovely books filled with warm and likeable characters' Jill Mansell'Perfect for an afternoon in the hammock' A Bookworm's World**Previously published as MIRANDA'S MOUNT
Return to Willow Lake: The Summer Hideaway Marrying Daisy Bellamy Return To Willow Lake (The Lakeshore Chronicles #9)
by Susan Wiggs#1 New York Times bestselling author Susan Wiggs brings readers home to Avalon, an idyllic town nestled on the tranquil shores of Willow Lake. There, one woman will rediscover her family and her dreams, and find a surprising new love…
Revelry: Revelry, Vanity, A Girl Called Summer, Party Nights, La Nights, New York Nights, London Nights, Ibiza Nights
by Lucy LordOne summer can change everything…
Roald Dahl's Marvellous Joke Book
by Roald DahlWhich famous writer goes best with a hot dog? Roll Dahl of course!Laugh yourself silly with Roald Dahl's Marvellous Joke Book, filled with over 400 hilarious jokes, limericks and riddles, illustrated by Quentin Blake. Based on Roald Dahl's most famous characters you will be chortling away with Matilda, Charlie, George, The BFG, James and many more! Roald Dahl was full of fun and mischief, and LOVED all kinds of jokes- the sillier the better, like chocolate-covered chickens to grizzly, grouchy grandmas. This side-splitting book includes his own 'knock-knock' jokes, keeping all practising jokesters amused for hours!
Rock Your Ugly Christmas Sweater
by Anne Marie Blackman Brian Clark HowardBased off the popular website of the same name, Rock Your Ugly Christmas Sweater celebrates ugly Christmas sweaters year-round and showcases hilarious photos of people and pets wearing some of the ugliest holiday sweaters ever. More colorful than visions of sugarplums and jollier than a sleigh full of inebriated elves, ugly Christmas sweaters are a global holiday tradition celebrated by all ages and walks of life. With more than 200 photos, humorous captions, and chapters like Vintage Sweater Fun, Classic Sweaters from the '80s and '90s, Winter Wonderland, and Best of the Best, this book is here to help you spread the holiday cheer and maybe get some new ideas for this year's ugly Christmas sweater party -- horrid fringe, creepy elves, gaudy snowmen, and light-up reindeer are just the beginning!
A Rogue by Any Other Name: Number 1 in series (Rules of Scoundrels #1)
by Sarah MacLean'Fabulous' Eloisa James'Smart, sexy, and always romantic' Julia Quinn'For a smart, witty and passionate historical romance, I recommend anything by Sarah MacLean' Lisa KleypasWhat a scoundrel wants, a scoundrel gets . . .A decade ago, the Marquess of Bourne was cast from society with nothing but his title. Now a partner in London's most exclusive gaming hell, the cold, ruthless Bourne will do whatever it takes to regain his inheritance - including marrying perfect, proper Lady Penelope Marbury.A broken engagement and years of disappointing courtships have left Penelope with little interest in a quiet, comfortable marriage. How lucky that her new husband has access to such unexplored pleasures. Bourne may be a prince of London's underworld, but he vows to keep Penelope untouched by its wickedness - a challenge indeed as the lady discovers her own desires, and her willingness to wager anything for them . . . even her heart.This is the first novel in the Regency romance Rules of Scoundrels series by New York Time bestselling author Sarah MacLean - perfect for fans of Lisa Kleypas and Eloisa James*Winner of the RITA Award for Best Historical Romance in 2013*Rules of Scoundrels series:A Rogue by Any Other NameOne Good Earl Deserves a LoverNo Good Duke Goes UnpunishedNever Judge a Lady By Her CoverPraise for Sarah MacLean:'Sarah MacLean has reignited the romance genre with a bolder edge' The New Yorker'Funny, smart, feminist and roastingly hot' BookRiot.com'Do yourself a favor and discover the compelling magic of Sarah MacLean' Amanda Quick'MacLean writes with an entirely unique blend of elegance and ferocity that bursts from every page' Entertainment Weekly'Great chemistry, intelligence and sparkling humor' RT Book Reviews
Romans (Sir Tony Robinson's Weird World of Wonders #6)
by Sir Tony RobinsonIn Sir Tony Robinson's Weird World of Wonders Romans, Sir Tony Robinson takes you on a headlong gallop through time, pointing out all the most important, funny, strange, amazing, entertaining and gory bits about the Romans! It's history, but not as we know it!Find out everything you ever needed to know in this brilliant, action-packed, fact-filled book including:- How to keep the gods happy- Why you should never ignore an omen- How to defeat an army who are riding elephants, and- How to spot a barbarianFor more funny history facts discover Sir Tony Robinson's Weird World of Wonders Egyptians.
The Runaway Actress
by Victoria ConnellyWhen the stresses of being an A-list actress get too much for her, Connie Gordon decides to escape to a tiny Scottish village. But little does she realise that whilst Lochnabrae might be quiet, it’s far from sleepy…
S*** My Kids Say
by Nick HarrisChildren have a unique way of looking at the world - they can be wonderfully innocent, or world-weary beyond their years. With entries such as 'Look, it's raining through that boy's trousers!', and 'Can we get something to eat? I'm vanished!', this book collects together the craziest and the funniest stuff that kids say in one hilarious volume - it's guaranteed to have you chuckling your socks off!
Sammy Feral's Diaries of Weird: Yeti Rescue (Sammy Feral's Diaries of Weird #2)
by Eleanor HawkenSammy Feral is a lucky boy. His family run a zoo and so he spends his spare time hanging out with orangutans, crocodiles and snakes. But his luck has just run out - his entire family has been infected with a werewolf virus! Now his mum, dad and sisters are howling at the moon, craving raw meat and, worst of all, trying to infect Sammy! Luckily, Donny and Red - a crack team who investigate animals that don't exist - are on hand to help. But with an evil professor determined to take over Feral Zoo and no known cure for the virus, things aren't looking good for Sammy!
Saving June (Mira Ink Ser.)
by Hannah Harrington‘With a powerful story, characters that truly come alive, and a romance worth swooning over, Saving June is a fresh, fun, and poignant book that I couldn't tear myself away from.’ – - Kody Keplinger, author of The DUFF
Scary Monsters and Super Creeps: In Search of the World's Most Hideous Beasts
by Dom JolyDom Joly sets off round the world, but this time he's not looking to holiday in a danger zone - he's monster hunting. Ever since he was given a copy of Arthur C. Clarke's Mysterious World for his ninth birthday Dom has been obsessed with the world of cryptozoology - monster hunting - and in Scary Monsters and Super Creeps he heads to six completely different destinations to investigate local monster sightings. He explores the Redwood Curtain in northern California in search of Sasquatch; in Canada he visits Lake Okanagan hoping to catch a glimpse of a thirty-foot snake-like creature called Ogopogo; and near Lake Tele in Congo he risks his life tracking the vegetarian sauropod Mokele-mbembe. Naturally he heads to Loch Ness - but for this hunt he has his family in tow; he treks across the Khumbu Valley in Nepal looking for Yeti; and in the hills above Hiroshima in Japan he enlists the help of a local man to find the Hibagon, a terribly smelly 'caveman ape'. Are the monsters all the product of fevered minds, or is there a sliver of truth somewhere in the madness? Either way, the search gives Dom an excuse to dive into six fascinating destinations on a gloriously nutty adventure. In typically hilarious and irreverent fashion, Dom explores the cultures that gave rise to these monster myths and ends up in some pretty hairy situations with people even stranger than the monsters they are hunting.
Scenes from Early Life: A Novel
by Philip HensherWinner of the Royal Society of Literature Ondaatje Prize, this is the new novel from the author of ‘King of the Badgers’ and the Man Booker-shortlisted ‘The Northern Clemency’.
School For Villains (Tumblewater Ser.)
by Bruno VincentI looked again at at the door and saw a message scrawled roughly in the mud of the wall above it, as though someone had used their whole hand to gouge it out: RIDLEY GARNET'S SCHOLE FUR VILLAINS. Everyone's favourite orphan-turned-storyteller Daniel Dorey is back - and heads below Tumblewater on his quest to find his sister. He unwittingly enrols in a very strange school, encountering a host of weird and wonderful characters - including for example Dr Bludger, who attacks corpses with an axe to give his students the opportunity to practise stitching. Other lessons are forgery, lock-picking, knife-wielding and still-life painting (with a twist). Will Daniel and his naughty schoolmates be able to put their grisly lessons into practice and help rescue his sister?
School of Fear: Book 1 (School of Fear #1)
by Gitty DaneshvariMadeleine Masterson is deathly afraid of bugs, especially spiders.Theodore Bartholomew is petrified of dying.Lulu Punchalower is scared of confined spaces.Garrison Feldman is terrified of deep water.Which is why this may be the scariest summer of their lives. Worse than detention or summer school. Worse even than the dentist. The foursome must face their phobias head-on at the exclusive and elusive School of Fear. The school is unusual, to say the least. But 'terrifying' would be a more accurate description. The curriculum is simple: Conquer your fears in six weeks or find out just how frightening failing can be.
The Second Chance
by null Charlotte Butterfield***From the author of a 2023 Times Book of the Year comes a hilarious, emotional and thought-provoking book club read for fans of David Nicholls, Sophie Cousens and Beth O’Leary.*** ‘A delight’ SOPHIE COUSENS 'Wonderfully original' KATIE FFORDE ‘Gloriously life-affirming’ HEIDI SWAIN 'Moving and snort-laugh funny' BECKY HUNTER ‘The funniest writer I've come across’ DEBBIE JOHNSON 'A heartwarming triumph’ HOLLY MILLER ‘Hilarious and clever' JESSICA RYN –––––––––––––– Nell has always known her expiry date. After a psychic predicted her death date twenty years ago, she has lived life accepting she would never see forty – embracing adventure and travelling the world, choosing fun over commitment and laying down roots. So, when the fateful day comes, Nell feels ready. She sends five excruciatingly honest confessions to her sister, parents and past loves, knowing she won’t be around to face the consequences. Then, with her heart laid bare, all that's left to do is check into a glamorous hotel and wait for the inevitable… But when Nell unexpectedly wakes up the next morning broke, single and very much alive, she must figure out exactly how to seize this second chance at life. And then it also hits her: What on earth happens now that everyone knows how she really feels? This is the perfect book club read for fans of David Nicholls, Holly Smale and Beth O’Leary, asking what it is that makes for a life well lived. –––––––––––––––– 'A pocket of joy' EMMA COOPER ‘Zippy and confident' NIAMH HARGAN 'Fun and witty' JULIE MA 'Utterly genius' HELGA JENSEN 'Warm and absorbing' EMILY CRITCHLEY 'A perfect page turner' NORIE CLARKE 'Deeply joyous' JENNI BAYLISS
The Secret Diary of Mario Balotelli
by Bruno Vincent'He's a total rock 'n' roller. There's a bit of Mario in all of us - well, maybe not Gary Neville - but the rest of us most definitely.' Noel GallagherHe may be football's latest superstar, but Mario Balotelli is just as famous off the pitch for his eccentricity and extraordinary antics. From the time he let off fireworks in his bathroom to the notorious bib incident, he's rarely out of the news. But in his secret diary*, as we follow Mario through one turbulent football season and the trail of mayhem he leaves in his wake, we discover that the headlines only tell half the story. Whether he's hiding Silvio Berlusconi in his basement, patrolling the streets of Manchester as a caped crusader or trying to be the first Premiership footballer to go to the moon, the truth is stranger, and much funnier, than we could have expected.*not the actual diary of Mario Balotelli
Seduced by a Pirate (Happy Ever After)
by Eloisa James'Nothing gets me to a bookstore faster than Eloisa James' - Julia QuinnA swash-buckling flight of fancy from the queen of Regency romance, Eloisa James.Sir Griffin Barry leapt out of the bedchamber window at age seventeen after a very disappointing wedding night, drank a bit too much at the pub and woke to find that he'd joined the crew of a pirate ship! Years later, he has become one of the most feared pirates on the high seas, piloting the Flying Poppy, a ship he named after the wife whom he fondly (if vaguely) remembers. What happens when a pirate decides to come home to his wife - if she is his wife - given that the marriage was never consummated? And what happens when that pirate strolls through his front door and is met by . . . well, that's a surprise!'Eloisa James is extraordinary' - Lisa Kleypas'Romance writing does not get much better than this' - People
A Series of Unrelated Events: Misadventures Of A Modern Man
by Richard BaconHave you ever been stitched up to the national press by your best mate?Or unintentionally upset a band with a slip of the tongue on a live TV show?Or ruined a dinner party by transforming everything alcoholic into water?Hello. I’m Richard Bacon and this is A Series of Unrelated Events. All of the stories are true. All of them happened to me. I’ve made the mistakes so you don’t have to (you’re welcome). So now, if you should ever find yourself sobbing on top of a box of gherkins in the stockroom of a Mansfield McDonald’s… having a Twitter conversation with your mum while she’s pretending to be an illiterate dog… performing stand-up to an audience who are funnier than you are… or just letting down all of the children of Great Britain……you’ll know exactly what to do.
The Shape of Shit to Come
by Alan McArthur Steve LoweWe’ve seen the future. And it’s shit. From the authors of the mega-selling Is It Just Me or Is Everything Shit?
The Shelbourne Ultimatum
by Ross O'Carroll-KellyAfter his brush with death Ross O'Carroll-Kelly - schools rugby legend, award-winning author and lover of the ladeez - is back with a renewed lust for life - all thrillingly revealed in The Shelbourne Ultimatum.Ross wakes up from his coma to find a country that has changed beyond recognition. Shrewsbury Road has become a ghost estate. Marks and Spencer are selling microwavable coddle. And a Euro discount store is about to open in the Powerscourt Townhouse Centre. And he was only unconscious for twenty-four hours.But never mind all that. The main thing is that whoever tried to kill him missed all his vital organs. All his vital organs. And having had such a lucky escape Ross vows not to waste another minute of his life. There are thousands of women out there and just one Ross to go around. He needs to focus.Of course, life gets in the way. He has a daughter who hates him, a son who is growing up way too fast and a soon-to-be-ex wife who is resorting to increasingly desperate measures to stop the bank from repossessing the house. Oh, and the Gords - get this! - think he's lying to them.Lying? Ross?'Ross's misadventures and on-the-nose observations never fail to provoke a laugh-out-loud reaction ... bursting at the seams with spot-on parody' Irish Times'Will leave you with pains in your cheeks from laughing' RTÉ GuideThe Shelbourne Ultimatum is the twelfth novel in Paul Howard's 'Ross O'Carroll-Kelly' series. Ross books have sold half a million copies, are annually nominated for the Popular Fiction prize at the Irish Book Awards - where they have twice won the prize - and are also critically acclaimed as satirical masterpieces. Titles include The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nightdress, Should have Got off at Sydney Parade, This Champagne Mojito is the Last Thing I Own, Rhino What You Did Last Summer, NAMA Mia! and The Oh My God Delusion. The last of these was chosen as Ireland's favourite book in Eason's 125th birthday poll.