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Did I Ever Tell You How Lucky You Are? (Classic Seuss Ser.)
by Dr. SeussIn this hilarious tale of mishap and misadventure, Dr. Seuss reminds us just how lucky we are.
Did That Actually Happen?: A Journey Through Unbelievable Moments in Irish Politics
by Paddy DuffyRemember the time Ray Burke had trees planted for a by-election, then uprooted them when he lost? Remember the time Brian Cowen went on radio with a voice like Barry White, leading everyone to think he spent the night before on the black stuff? Or remember the time Pee Flynn told us a story of three house, six-figure woe and asked us all to 'try it some time'?Politics is a strange business at the best of times, but Irish politics seems to have a special kind of strangeness about it, so much so that you often have to wonder, 'Did That Actually Happen?'With characteristic wry humour, columnist and broadcaster Paddy Duffy recounts the ridiculous but true stories that make Irish politics what it is: intriguing, amusing and completely daft as a brush.If you're looking for a book that gets to the heart of our political system and offers solutions for the future, then you're probably in the wrong section. No navel-gazing, just belly-laughing.
Did Ye Hear Mammy Died?
by Seamas O'Reilly'A gorgeous memoir' Pandora Sykes'Tender, sad and side-splittingly funny' Annie MacManus'A heartfelt tribute to an alarmingly large family held together by a quietly heroic father' Arthur Mathews, co-creator of Father Ted and Toast of LondonSéamas O'Reilly's mother died when he was five, leaving him, his ten brothers and sisters and their beloved father in their sprawling bungalow in rural Derry. It was the 1990s; the Troubles were a background rumble (most of the time), and Séamas at that point was more preoccupied with dinosaurs, Star Wars and the actual location of heaven than the political climate.Did Ye Hear Mammy Died? is a book about a family of argumentative, loud, musical, sarcastic, grief-stricken siblings, shepherded into adulthood by a man whose foibles and reticence were matched only by his love for his children and his determination that they would flourish. It is the moving, often amusing and completely unsentimental story of a boy growing up in a family bonded by love, loss and fairly relentless mockery.'Not only hilarious, tender, absurd, delightful and charming, but written with such skill as to render it unforgettable' Nina Stibbe, author of Reasons to be Cheerful 'Grotesquely funny' Sophie Heawood, author of The Hungover Games
Did You Miss Me?
by Sophia Money-Coutts‘Heartwarming and hilarious’ Sarah Morgan ‘A fun and fabulous read from the queen of the rom-com’ Woman & Home ‘A laugh-out-loud book…the perfect summer escape’ Lindsey Kelk
Diddly Squat: A Year on the Farm
by Jeremy ClarksonPull on your wellies, grab your flat cap and join Jeremy Clarkson in this hilarious and fascinating behind-the-scenes look at the farm we're all obsessed withWelcome to Clarkson's farm.An idyllic spot offering picturesque views across the Cotswolds, bustling hedgerows and natural springs, it's the perfect plot of land for someone to delegate the actual, you know, farming to someone else while he galivants around the world in cars.Until one day, Jeremy decided he would do the farming itself.After all, how hard could it be? . . .Faced with suffocating red tape, biblical weather, local objections, a global pandemic and his own frankly staggering ignorance of how to 'do farming', Jeremy soon realises that turning the farm around is going to take more than splashing out on a massive tractor.Fortunately, there's help at hand from a large and (mostly) willing team, including girlfriend Lisa, Kaleb the Tractor Driver, Cheerful Charlie, Ellen the Shepherd and Gerald, his Head of Security and Dry Stone Waller.Between them, they enthusiastically cultivate crops, rear livestock and hens, keep bees, bottle spring water and open a farm shop. But profits remain elusive.And yet while the farm may be called Diddly Squat for good reason, Jeremy soon begins to understand that it's worth a whole lot more to him than pounds, shillings and pence . . .Praise for Clarkson's Farm:'The best thing Clarkson's done . . . It pains me to say this' THE GUARDIAN'Shockingly hopeful' THE INDEPENDENT'Even the most committed Clarkson haters will find him likeable here' THE TELEGRAPH'Quite lovely' THE TIMES
Diddly Squat: The No 1 Sunday Times Bestseller
by Jeremy ClarksonThe seeds are being sown, the soil turned, the farm shop restocked - that's right, it's time for another riotous trip to Diddly Squat Farm with farmer-in-progress Jeremy Clarkson . . .Welcome back to Clarkson's Farm.At the end of Jeremy's first year in the tractor's driving seat, Diddly Squat farm rewarded him with a profit of just £144. So, while he's the first to admit that he's still only a 'trainee farmer'*, there is clearly still work to be done.Because while he's mastered the art of moaning about nearly everything, some of the other attributes required of a successful farmer prove more of a challenge.Who knew, for instance . . .That loading a grain trailer was more demanding than flying an Apache gunship? That cows were more dangerous than motor-racing? Or that it would have been easier to get planning permission to build a nuclear power station than to turn an old barn into a farm restaurant?But if the council planning department and the local red trouser brigade seem determined to frustrate his schemes at every turn, at least he's got Lisa, Kaleb, Cheerful Charlie and Gerald, his dry-stone-walling Head of Security to see him through.Life on Clarkson's Farm may not always go according to plan. There may not always be one. But there's not a day goes by when Jeremy can't say 'I've done a thing' and mean it . . .* generous, in Kaleb's view____________PRAISE FOR DIDDLY SQUAT'Clarkson has done more for farmers in one series than Countryfile achieved in 30 years' James Rebanks, author of A Shepherd's Life'Clarkson has showcased the passion, humour and personalities of the people who work throughout the year to grow the nation's food . . . and brought an understanding of many of the issues faced by farmers to the British public' National Farmers Union'A deserving Farming Champion of the Year' Farmers Weekly 'I don't know anything about farming. It's like David Attenborough doing jet-skiing, or Nicholas Witchell saying, "I'm going to be a cage fighter'" Jeremy Clarkson
Diddly Squat: Pigs Might Fly
by Jeremy ClarksonAnother year on the Diddly Squat Farm and Jeremy is still knee-deep in mud and endless challenges. Welcome back to Clarkson's Farm. Since taking the wheel three years ago Jeremy's had his work cut out. And it's now clear from hard-won experience that, when it comes to farming, there's only one golden rule: Whatever you hope will happen, won't. Enthusiastic schemes to diversify have met with stubborn opposition from the red trouser brigade, defeat at the hands of Council Planning department, and predictable derision from Kaleb - although, to be fair, even Lisa had doubts about Jeremy's brilliant plan to build a business empire founded on rewilding and nettle soup. And only Cheerful Charlie is still smiling about the stifling amount of red tape that's incoming . . . But he charges by the hour. Then there are the animals: the sheep are gone; the cows have been joined by a rented bull called Break-Heart Maestro;. the pigs are making piglets; and the goats have turned out to be psychopaths. But despite the naysayers and (sometimes self-inflicted) setbacks, Jeremy remains irrepressibly optimistic about life at Diddly Squat. Because It's hard not to be when you get to harvest blackberries with a vacuum cleaner. And, after all, it shouldn't just be Break-heart Maestro who gets to enjoy a happy ending . . .
Didn't Nobody Give a Shit What Happened to Carlotta: The Blackest book I’ve read in years (Paul Beatty)
by James Hannaham“Wondrous.” JOHN IRVING, THE NEW YORK TIMES “The Blackest book I’ve read in years.”―PAUL BEATTY “Angry, saucy, and joyful, Carlotta is a true survivor—one whose story shines a disinfecting light on the injustices of our world.” ―ESQUIRE “Bold, brash, and bitingly hilarious.” ―TIME “Hilarious and heartbreaking, with language that reaches for your throat.”―THE ATLANTIC “Searing and often hilarious.”―NEW YORK MAGAZINE A humorous and heart-wrenching story of a transgender woman’s re-entry into life on the outside after twenty years in incarceration told over one whirlwind Fourth of July weekend. When Carlotta Mercedes was pulled into a robbery gone wrong, she still went by the name she’d grown up with. But not long after her conviction, she began to live as a woman, an embrace of selfhood that prison authorities rejected, keeping Carlotta trapped in an all-male cell block, abused by both inmates and guards. Over twenty years later, Carlotta is granted conditional freedom and returns to a much-changed Brooklyn, where she struggles to reconcile with a family reluctant to accept her true identity, and to avoid any minor parole infraction that might get her consigned back to lockup. Didn’t Nobody Give a Shit What Happened to Carlotta sweeps the reader through seemingly every street of Brooklyn, much as Joyce’s Ulysses does through Dublin. Hannaham introduces a cast of unforgettable characters even as it challenges us to confront the glaring injustices of a society and prison system that continues to punish people long after their time has been served. “Hannaham's prose is gloriously dense and full of elegant observations.” ROXANNE GAY
DIDN’T SEE THAT COMING
by Jesse Sutanto“A delightful, hilarious, captivating love letter to Indonesia, and coming of age in a large meddlesome family, and the thrill of finding your person where you least expect it!" – Ali Hazelwood on Well, That Was Unexpected
Die Before I Wake (Mills & Boon M&B)
by Laurie BretonJust five days after they meet, Julie Hanrahan and Dr. Thomas Larkin exchange vows on a moonlit Caribbean beach, the whirlwind conclusion to a romance that's swept her off her feet.
Dietland: a wickedly funny, feminist revenge fantasy novel of one fat woman’s fight against sexism and the beauty industry
by Sarai WalkerA wickedly funny, feminist revenge fantasy novel of one fat woman's fight against sexism and the beauty industry. Dietland will be adapted into AMC's 10-episode straight-to-series starring Julianna Margulies and Joy Nash. Wow... ferocious and hilarious - Margaret AtwoodA book with a message, loud and clear - GuardianPlum Kettle does her best not to be noticed, because when you're fat, to be noticed is to be judged. Or mocked. Or worse. But when a mysterious woman starts following her, Plum finds herself involved with an underground community of women who live life on their own terms. At the same time, a dangerous guerrilla group called "Jennifer" begins to terrorize a world that mistreats women. As Plum grapples with her personal struggles, she becomes entangled in a sinister plot, the consequences of which are explosive.Part coming-of-age story, part revenge fantasy, Dietland is a bold, original and funny debut that takes on the beauty industry, gender equality and our weight loss obsession - from the inside out, and with fists flying.
The Difference a Day Makes
by Carole MatthewsOne day she had everything - the next it was goneWilliam and Amy love their busy city life, but when Will collapses on his way into work he decides enough is enough and moves his family to the country.Three months later, Amy is standing outside Helmshill Grange, a sullen monstrosity of a house, deep in the Yorkshire moors. Within days, Will has traded in the Audi for a Land Rover, and brought home chickens, goats, sheep, a serial-killer cat and a mad dog.But when tragedy strikes, Amy finds herself living a dream that isn't hers . . .
Different Class: A Novel
by Joanne HarrisThe gripping new psychological thriller from Joanne Harris, to follow her bestselling Gentlemen & Players and Blueeyedboy. Perfect for fans of Claire Mackintosh, BA Paris, Paula Hawkins and Tracy Chevalier. ‘Crime novel or literary novel? Categories really don’t matter; readers will find themselves comprehensively gripped.’ Independent 'A cracking psychological thriller' Good HousekeepingAfter thirty years at St Oswald’s Grammar in North Yorkshire, Latin master Roy Straitley has seen all kinds of boys come and go – the clowns, the rebels, the underdogs, and those he calls his Brodie boys. But every so often there’s a boy who doesn’t fit the mould. A troublemaker. A boy capable of twisting everything around him. A boy with hidden shadows inside.With insolvency and academic failure looming, a new broom has arrived at the venerable school, bringing Powerpoint, sharp suits and even sixth form girls to the dusty corridors. But while Straitley does his sardonic best to resist this march to the future, a shadow from his past is stirring. A boy who even twenty years on haunts his teacher’s dreams. A boy capable of bad things.
Dig, Dig, Digger
by Morag HoodIt is a day like any other at the roadworks when Digger decides she no longer likes digging down into mud, dark and worms – she wants to dig UP! Although up is quite tricky to get to, with some ingenuity and balloons, Digger goes off on a grand adventure. But adventures aren't as fun without friends, so Digger must dig her way home.With a witty text, bright colours and a finger trail to follow from the award-winning Morag Hood, young children and adults will love reading Dig, Dig, Digger! together.
Dig It! (Freestylers: Funnies #1)
by Tom EastonDan's latest work experience trial is at the grave yard as a grave digger. All Dan has to do is dig a hole. What could possibly go wrong?Freestylers are a range of reading books with low-level text for readers with a reading age of 5-7. The engaging stories are perfect for older, struggling readers as well as emerging readers. All texts have been checked by reading consultant Dee Reid.
The Digdiggs: Book 11 (Nelly the Monster Sitter #11)
by Kes GrayNelly's monster sitting adventures are always full of surprises. She certainly can't believe it when she sits a monster who wants to do absolutely nothing! Or when she has to rescue the smallest monster she's encountered yet - but nothing can prepare her for spending Christmas Day with the Dendrilegs!The digdiggs are the smallest monsters Nelly has ever seen, and there are one hundred and twenty three of them! Nelly is going to have her work cut out for her if she's going to look after them all...
The Digested Twenty-first Century
by John CraceJohn Crace's Digested Read first appeared in in February 2000 and has been running ever since. Each week Crace reduces a new book – anything from a Booker Prize winner to a Nigella cookery book is fair game – to 700 words in a parody of the plot, style, dialogue and themes. Or lack of them. The Digested Read has not just become an institution for readers; it is read and enjoyed by publishers and authors too. So long as it is not their book being digested. A few years ago Crace wrote Brideshead Abbreviated, A Digested Read of the 20th Century. This is the 21st Century. So far.
Digging to America: Wm Format
by Anne TylerSHORTLISTED FOR THE ORANGE PRIZEFriday August 15th, 1997. Two tiny Korean babies are delivered to two very different Baltimore families. Every year, on the anniversary of ‘Arrival Day’ the two families celebrate together, with more and more elaborately competitive parties, as little Susan and Jin-ho take roots and become American.OVER A MILLION ANNE TYLER BOOKS SOLD‘She’s changed my perception on life’ Anna Chancellor ‘One of my favourite authors ’ Liane Moriarty‘She spins gold' Elizabeth Buchan ‘Anne Tyler has no peer’ Anita Shreve‘My favourite writer, and the best line-and-length novelist in the world’ Nick Hornby ‘A masterly author’ Sebastian Faulks ‘Tyler is not merely good, she is wickedly good’ John Updike‘I love Anne Tyler’ Anita Brookner ‘Her fiction has strength of vision, originality, freshness, unconquerable humour’ Eudora Welty
Digory the Dragon Slayer
by Ian Beck Angela McAllisterDigory is a sweet boy, although he doesn't exactly appreciate the same things as his rambunctious brothers or blacksmith mother. He likes playing the flute, thinking interesting thoughts, and writing silly songs. But all this changes one day when Digory discovers a dragon's tooth in the forest. When he returns to the village to show off his treasure, everyone assumes Digory slayed a dragon! Can Digory still be a normal, non-dragon-slaying boy now that he's been mistaken for a hero? The story of a shy, funny-looking village boy who finds himself rescuing princesses, fighting dragons, and living happily ever after. Reviews "Beck's rumpled drawings and vignettes add more amiably comic touches. Ready cheeks; insert tongues." -Kirkus Reviews "In this affectionate send-up of heroic fantasy, Digory is a reluctant knight who gamely tries to live up to the role of dauntless hero, while Enid is a refreshingly independent princess. The amusing black-and-white drawings add to the mock-medieval fun. The lighthearted plot and the strong underlying message about courage and individuality make this a good choice for fantasy fans."-School Library Journal About the Author Angela McAllister has written a dozen books for Bloomsbury, including Barkus, Sly and the Golden Egg, The Little Blue Rabbit and Trust Me, Mom! She has two children and lives in England. About the Illustrator Ian Beck is a prolific illustrator who created the cover for Elton John's Goodbye Yellow Brick Road. His books for children include versions of Peter and the Wolf and many fairy tales. He lives in England.
The Dilemmas of Harriet Carew
by Cristina OdoneHarriet Carew is the endearing heroine of Cristina Odone's popular weekly 'Daily Telegraph' column, 'Posh But Poor'. Based on the character from the column, 'The Dilemmas of Harriet Carew' is the story of her struggle to juggle family life, work and money.
Dim Wit: The Funniest, Stupidest Things Ever Said
by Rosemarie Jarski'They misunderestimated me' George W. Bush Einstein said only two things are infinite - the universe and human stupidity. So in deference to the dumbing down of our culture, comes Dim Wit - a collection of the most jaw-droppingly stupid things ever said. The cast includes every famous foot-in-mouther from George W Bush to Prince Philip, Paris Hilton to Jade Goody, not to mention hundreds of unsung idiots plucked from villages the world over. The result is a confederacy of dunces more pro-fun than profound - a clever witticism may coax an inward smile but it takes a really stupid remark to deliver a belly laugh. So pick up Dim Wit and prepare to embrace your inner moron - it may be the smartest thing you do...'My grandma overheard two women talking in a doctor's surgery. After a while, one said to the other, "Do you know, Mary, I don't feel too well. I think I'll go home."' - Robyn Jankel'I don't think anyone should write his autobiography until after he's dead.' - Samuel Goldwyn 'Winston Churchill? Wasn't he the first black President of America? There's a statue of him near me - that's black.' - Danielle Lloyd
Dimension of Miracles (Penguin Science Fiction)
by Robert Sheckley'Hilarious SF satire. Douglas Adams said it was the only thing like The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, although written ten years earlier. It's wonderful' Neil GaimanThis madcap cosmic farce relates the adventures of the hapless human Carmody, as he attempts to make his way home to Earth after winning the grand prize in the Intergalactic Sweepstake, encountering parallel worlds, incompetent bureaucrats and talking dinosaurs on the way.'The greatest entertainer ever produced by science fiction ... a feast of wit and intelligence' J. G. Ballard
Dinna Fash Yersel, Scotland!: Scottish Grannies' Sayings for Challenging Times
by Allan MorrisonThese are tough times. Prices spiralling! Climate change! International tension! Pandemics! It’s not hard to find things to worry about.But Scottish grannies can be an oasis of calm. Their wit and wisdom, their compassion and knowhow, their measured good sense and withering reproaches are exactly what is required.Scottish grannies are reassuring. They are relevant. And they need to be heard.
The Dinner
by Herman KochSHORTLISTED FOR THE NATIONAL BOOK AWARDS - INTERNATIONAL AUTHOR OF THE YEARLONGLISTED FOR THE IMPAC DUBLIN LITERARY AWARDSThe million-copy bestseller that has got everyone talking.'A brilliantly addictive novel that wraps its hands around your throat on page one and doesn't let go' -- SJ WatsonA summer's evening in Amsterdam and two couples meet at a fashionable restaurant. Between mouthfuls of food and over the delicate scraping of cutlery, the conversation remains a gentle hum of politeness - the banality of work, the triviality of holidays. But the empty words hide a terrible conflict and, with every forced smile and every new course, the knives are being sharpened...Each couple has a fifteen-year-old son. Together, the boys have committed a horrifying act, caught on camera, and their grainy images have been beamed into living rooms across the nation; despite a police manhunt, the boys remain unidentified - by everyone except their parents. As the dinner reaches its culinary climax, the conversation finally touches on their children and, as civility and friendship disintegrate, each couple shows just how far they are prepared to go to protect those they love.
Dinner for Two
by Mike GayleA witty and touching novel for fans of Tony Parsons and Nick Hornby.Thirty-two-year-old music journalist Dave Harding has got a nice house, a cushy job and in Izzy, his partner, the ideal companion for an intimate dinner for two. But when friends of Dave announce they're having a baby the biological clock he never knew existed starts ticking. Loudly. When the magazine Dave works for folds he is forced to take the worst job in journalism - Agony Uncle for Teen Scene. Suddenly cooler-than-cool Dave is knee deep in the adolescent outpourings of his teenage readership. One letter out of thousands, however, turns his life upside down. Thirteen-year-old Nicola O'Connell doesn't want advice about boys - she wants to know about Dave because she's convinced that Dave Harding is her dad. And she's got the facts to prove it.