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Adrian Mole: The Collected Poems
by Sue Townsend'It's really, really, really funny' David Walliams Mole Press - a brand new imprint of Penguin Books - is proud to announce the first publication of The Collected Poems of Adrian Mole to mark the author's 50TH birthday.--------------------------- 'Edgy politics, tortured eroticism, misunderstood intellect, changing Britain - a whiff of the sublime. Mole's contribution is significant' Daily Telegraph Featuring poems scattered over nearly thirty years of writing and salvaged from the diaries 'authored' by one Sue Townsend, this slim volume features more than thirty pieces of Adrian's unique art. From his timeless first documented poem - The Tap - via classic odes to his muse, first and only true love Pandora (I adore ya), we follow Adrian's life in verse form. We not only witness his burgeoning political anger in works like Mrs Thatcher (Do you weep, Mrs Thatcher, do you weep?) but also see in later poems his merciless examination of the hollow shell of masculinity as well as documenting his declining libido in tragic pieces like To My Organ. For the first time in a single volume, these are the collected poems of misunderstood intellectual and tortured poet Adrian Mole. 'I ruthlessly exploited Adrian. But he can't afford to sue me' Sue Townsend 'Wonderfully funny and sharp as knives' Sunday Times 'One of the great comic creations' Daily Mirror 'The funniest person in the world' Caitlin Moran
Adrian Mole: The Cappuccino Years (The\adrian Mole Ser. #5)
by Sue Townsend'The funniest person in the world' Caitlin MoranCelebrate Adrian Mole's 50th Birthday with this new edition of the FIFTH BOOK in his diaries, where Adrian faces divorce, fatherhood and (short-lived) television stardom.--------------------------- Wednesday August 13th Here I am again - in my old bedroom. Older, wiser, but with less hair, unfortunately. The atmosphere in this house is very bad. The dog looks permanently exhausted. Every time the phone rings my mother snatches it up as though a kidnapper were on the line. Adrian Mole is thirty, single and a father. His cooking at a top London restaurant has been equally mocked ('the sausage on my plate could have been a turd') and celebrated (will he be the nation's first celebrity offal chef?). And the love of his life, Pandora Braithwaite, is too busy as the newly elected MP for Ashby-de-la-Zouch to notice him. Frustrated, disappointed and undersexed, Adrian despairs until a letter from his past changes everything . . . 'With the Mole books, Townsend has an unrivalled claim to be this country's foremost practising comic novelist' Mail on Sunday 'Adrian Mole really is a brilliant comic creation. Every sentence is witty and well thought out, and the whole has reverberations beyond itself' The Times 'One of the greatest comic creations. I can't remember a more relentlessly funny book' Daily Mirror 'Three cheers for Mole's chaotic, non-achieving, dysfunctional family. We need him' Evening Standard
Adrian Mole: The Prostrate Years (The\adrian Mole Ser. #8)
by Sue Townsend None'Effortlessly hilarious. Brilliant satire and tragedy' The TimesCelebrate Adrian Mole's 50th Birthday with this new edition of THE EIGHTH and FINAL BOOK in his diaries, as Adrian continues to struggle with his love life, endures a painfully awkward school play and contemplates the unsettling prospect of applying genital poultice.--------------------------- Sunday 1st July NO SMOKING DAY A momentous day! Smoking in a public place or place of work is forbidden in England. Though if you a lunatic, a prisoner, an MP or a member of the Royal Family you are exempt. Adrian Mole is thirty-nine and a quarter. He lives in the country in a semi-detached converted pigsty with his wife Daisy and their daughter. His parents George and Pauline live in the adjoining pigsty. But all is not well. The secondhand bookshop in which Adrian works is threatened with closure. The spark has fizzled out of his marriage. His mother is threatening to write her autobiography (A Girl Called Shit). And Adrian's nightly trips to the lavatory have become alarmingly frequent . . . 'A tour de force by a comic genius and if it isn't the best book published this year, I'll eat my bookshelf' Daily Mail, Books of the Year 'Hilarious. Comic gold' Sunday Times 'The funniest person in the world' Caitlin Moran
Adrian Mole and The Weapons of Mass Destruction (Adrian Mole Ser. #7)
by Sue Townsend None'The funniest person in the world' Caitlin MoranCelebrate Adrian Mole's 50th Birthday with this new edition of the SEVENTH BOOK in his diaries where Adrian falls in love, is inconvenienced by the war and faces his new nemesis: a swan from the local canal. --------------------------- Wednesday April 2nd My birthday. I am thirty-five today. I am officially middle-aged. It is all downhill from now. A pathetic slide towards gum disease, wheelchair ramps and death. Adrian Mole is middle-aged but still scribbling. Working as a bookseller and living in Leicester's Rat Wharf; finding time to write letters of advice to Tim Henman and Tony Blair; locked in mortal combat with a vicious swan called Gielgud; measuring his expanding bald spot; and trying to win-over the voluptuous Daisy . . . Adrian yearns for a better more meaningful world. But he's not ready to surrender his pen yet... Bestselling author Sue Townsend has been Britain's favourite comic writer for over three decades. 'Hilarious. Deft, gleeful mockery impales modish fads, from home make-overs to new-age crazes, while fiercer irony is trained on the country's involvement with Iraq' Sunday Times 'Richly comic ... stuffed full of humour, tragedy, vanity, pathos and, very occasionally, wisdom' Guardian 'Completely hilarious, laugh-out-loud, a joy' Daily Mirror
The Adrian Mole Collection
by Sue TownsendThe hilarious, bestselling follow-ups to Sue Townsend's The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole Aged 13 and 3/4 : The Growing Pains of Adrian Mole, True Confessions of Adrian Albert Mole and Adrian Mole: The Wilderness together in one volume. Sunday July 18th. My father announced at breakfast that he is going to have a vasectomy. I pushed my sausages away untouched.Charting nearly ten years in the life of Adrian Mole, from his increasingly troubled adolescence and schooling to his first job as newt counter for the DoE, from his parents' marital troubles to his own difficult relationship with Pandora, from the failure of his early poems to the even grander failure of his epic novels, these three novels in one volume provide a hilarious portrait of one young man's coming of age.'He will be remembered some day as one of England's great diarists. No matter what your troubles may be Adrian Mole is sure to make you feel better' Evening Standard
The Adult: Winner of the Somerset Maugham Award 2013
by Joe StretchWINNER OF THE SOMERSET MAUGHAM PRIZE'Funny, sad, bewildering and painfully honest, it’s a must-read for all fans of Joe Dunthorne’s Submarine' Emerald StreetJim Thorne.He wants to understand love.His mum.Her three sisters have epic perms.And they’re famous.His dad.He is focused on a vital question: Mario or Sonic?It’s England, 1989–2009.So expect a little history.The dolphin's name is Dilly.
Adult Charades: Naughty Ideas for Your Favourite Party Game
by Sadie CaymanThe popular party game we all know and love is just about to get a lot more interesting! Strictly for over 18s, Adult Charades is bulging with hilarious ideas for TV shows, films, books, songs and much, much more, for you and your friends to act out in all their glorious detail.
The Adulterants
by Joe DunthorneFresh, sharp and wickedly funny, a tragicomic tale of modern living from the author of SubmarineRay is not a bad guy. He mostly did not cheat on his heavily pregnant wife. He only sometimes despises every one of his friends. And though his career as a freelance tech journalist is dismal and he spends his afternoons churning out third-rate listicles in his boxer briefs, he dreams of making a difference. But Ray is about to learn that his special talent is for making things worse.Brace yourself for a wickedly funny look at the modern everyman. The Adulterants is an uproarious tale of competitively sensitive men and catastrophic open marriages, riots on the streets of London and Internet righteousness, and one man's valiant quest to come of age in his thirties. With lacerating wit and wry affection, Joe Dunthorne dissects the urban millennial psyche of a man too old to be an actual millennial.
The Adults: Two exes. Their daughter. And their new partners. What could possibly go wrong?
by Caroline Hulse'Genuinely unputdownable books are rare in my experience. This is one. A brilliant, original comedy' Daily Mail* * * * *MEET THE ADULTS...Claire and Matt are divorced but decide what's best for their daughter Scarlett is to have a 'normal' family Christmas with them all together.Claire brings her new boyfriend Patrick, a seemingly eligible Iron-Man-in-Waiting. Matt brings the new love of his life Alex, funny, smart, and extremely patient. Scarlett, their daughter, brings her imaginary friend Posey. He's a rabbit.Together the five (or six?) of them grit their teeth over Organized Fun activities, drinking a little too much after bed-time, oversharing classified secrets about their pasts and, before they know it, their holiday is a powder keg that ends - where this story starts - with a tearful, frightened, call to the police...But what happened? They said they'd all be adults about this...* * * * *'I loved The Adults! Funny, dry and beautifully observed. Highly recommended' Gill Sims, #1 bestselling author of Why Mummy Drinks and Why Mummy Swears'Such a breath of fresh air! Witty, intensely human and (dare I say it) relatable ... The perfect comedy of errors' Katie Khan'The Adults is my top read of 2018 so far. Absolutely hilarious ... This one will stay with me for a long time' Cathy Bramley 'Packed with sharp wit, engaging characters and off-beat humour, this is a fresh and feisty thrill-ride of a novel' Heat'I took this book on holiday and couldn't put it down! I've never read anything quite like it' The Unmumsy Mum'Gripped me from the start. Reminiscent of Liane Moriarty's Big Little Lies - a sure-fire winner' Cass Hunter, author of The After Wife'Brilliantly funny - will have you wincing in recognition' Good Housekeeping'I have a feeling Caroline Hulse might be a genius, this book is so brilliant. t's funny, clever and original - I loved every minute of reading it. Also, Posey should get a spin-off TV show' Lucy Vine, author of Hot Mess'Funny, poignant, real - a truly original book that made me laugh, cry and cringe in equal measure. I loved it' Charlotte Duckworth'Razor-sharp comedy - barbed and brilliant. The characters are totally convincing ... Sparky, heart-felt and fantastically fun, this is a fabulous debut' Sunday Mirror
Adults
by Emma Jane Unsworth‘DAZZLING’ Marian Keyes, ‘HILARIOUS’ Dolly Alderton, ‘TENDER’ Jessie Burton, ‘MAGNIFICENT’ Daisy Buchanan, ‘INCREDIBLE’ Candice Carty Williams, ‘MOVING’ Laura Jane Williams, ‘BRILLIANT’ Nikesh Shukla, ‘I LOVED IT’ Sam Baker, ‘PAINFULLY TRUE’ Kate Davies
Adventure Cats: Living Nine Lives to the Fullest
by Laura J. MossJust when you thought you knew all there was to know about cats comes the ultimate—and unexpected—guide to taking your cat into the wild. Here are cats walking on a leash. Cats hiking on a leash. Cats tramping through snow. Cats camping. Cats kayaking, canoeing, even surfing—yes, cats who love water. When animal writer and active hiker Laura Moss couldn&’t find an online resource for hitting the trail with her cat, she created one. AdventureCats.org took off like wildfire, with attention from Wired, the Huffington Post, Outside magazine, BuzzFeed, and much more. Now, the book Adventure Cats—a collection of jaw-dropping photographs, inspiring stories of real-life cats, and all the how-to a cat owner needs—will take readers and their cats well beyond the backyard. Learn how to leash-train a cat. What to do if you encounter wildlife on the trail. Plus, winter safety tips, and how to bring a little bit of the outdoors to an indoor cat. The stories themselves are catnip for animal lovers, from Nanakuli, the one-eyed cat who hangs ten; to Georgie, a four-year-old gray tabby who lives on a sailboat; to Quandary, who not only insists on hiking with her family but also teaches them a valuable lesson: When you follow your cat&’s natural tendency to wander, you experience the outdoors at a slower, richer pace. This book will delight every cat person, regardless of whether their pet is inclined to adventure. (Take the quiz at the beginning of the book to find out!)
Adventure Duck vs Power Pug: Book 1 (Adventure Duck)
by Steve ColeThere's no ducking out - it's time for this ordinary, wise-quacking duck to become . . . A Hero!Adventure Duck didn't ask for greatness. All he wanted was his nest on the duckpond and plenty of soggy bread to eat. But when a meteor gives him superpowers, he knows he must fly into battle and defeat the forces of evil.Every superhero needs a nemesis, and Adventure Duck finds a pint-sized one in Power Pug. This tiny arch-villain is plotting to take over the world with his hypnotic stare and an army of hench-animals. Luckily, Adventure Duck has helpers, too. There's Yoki - a mystical, moustachioed egg - and Neon Zebra, Adventure Duck's karate-kicking sidekick.Can Adventure Duck and his friends stop Power Pug in this egg-ceptionally funny, action-packed adventure?
Adventure Duck vs the Armadillo Army: Book 2 (Adventure Duck)
by Steve ColeThe duck with the supersonic quack is back! Adventure Duck, the world's unlikeliest superhero, has a tasty new mission - saving the world from DEATH BY CHOCOLATE!Ay, caramba! Adventure Duck and his zebra sidekick, Ziggy, have a tasty new mission in Mexico. Their nemesis, Power Pug, has a dastardly new scheme to control the world's chocolate supply. With the help of a llama with projectile spit, Adventure Duck and Ziggy set out to foil the pug's nefarious plans to dig up the rainforest to build an enormous chocolate factory. But Armando the Commando and his army of armadillos stands in their way... Can the superhero amigos find a chink in the armadillos' armour and save the world from DEATH BY CHOCOLATE?
Adventure Duck vs The Wicked Walrus: Book 3 (Adventure Duck)
by Steve ColeThere's no ducking out - the space race is on and Adventure Duck must defeat his new nemesis, the Wicked Walrus!Adventure Duck fluffs up his feathers and heads to the North Pole, where his ice-hearted enemy, Power Pug, has set up a secret space base. The pug's latest hench-animal, a super-smart walrus, is building a rocket to blast his master to Mars. But if it launches, the whole Artic will be wiped out! Can Adventure Duck and his new friend - an (occasionally) invisible reindeer - stop Power Pug from expanding his evil empire in outer space?
The Adventure of the Dead Wild Bore: A Holmes and Garden Story (Holmes and Garden #2)
by Andrea FrazerThe recently-formed private detective agency of (Sherman) Holmes and (John) Garden is going from strength to strength. Holmes invites Garden to a meeting of the Quaker Street Irregulars, a society for die-hard fans of his near-namesake, Conan Doyle’s own Sherlock Holmes. Garden is somewhat taken aback by the fervour with which members of the Irregulars defend their opinions on the great fictional consulting detective – but nobody expects a run-of-the-mill disagreement to turn into brutal murder …
The Adventurer's Guide to Dragons (The Adventurer's Guide #2)
by Wade Albert WhiteGet ready for dragons, robots, and an even more dangerous quest in this hilarious, unputdownable sequel to The Adventurer's Guide to Successful Escapes. Anne, Penelope, and Hiro are nominated for Best Illegal Quest That Nearly Destroyed the Entire World at the annual Quest Academy Awards, but they barely get to enjoy it before a strange boy tricks Anne into activating a new quest. Her charge: kill the dragon queen. The problem is, Anne doesn't want to kill any dragons. But the mysterious boy does, even if it means igniting a devastating war between people and dragons. The only chance Anne and the others have to stop it is to get to the queen first. Along the way, they'll have to navigate ancient mines, avoid erupting volcanoes, outsmart robots, and survive the dragon trials. And, of course, get a passing grade on their quest. Packed with action, humor, and endless heart, this is a truly irresistible middle grade fantasy tale.
The Adventurer's Guide to Treasure (The Adventurer's Guide #3)
by Wade Albert WhiteFantasy gets a clever refresh in the final book of this witty, action-packed, and hilarious middle grade adventure trilogy.At Saint Lupin's Completely Ordinary School Where Nothing Bizarre Ever Happens Most Especially Not Illegal Quests That Destroy Famous Landmarks, students are not taught about pirates. They're not taught how to identify them, how to befriend them, or even how to fight them...which leaves the school completely open to pirate invasion. And on the first day of classes, that's precisely what happens. When a pirate captain and her crew steal an ancient Prophecy Medallion, Anne, Penelope, and Hiro are caught up in yet another adventure. After accidentally activating a quest, Anne and her friends have no choice but to complete the task and deliver the medallion to the supreme pirate ruler, Octo-Horse-Pirate. But the quest and the medallion are not what they seem, and Octo-Horse-Pirate is no run-of-the-mill villain. To complete the quest, Anne will have to uncover the truth about her mysterious past-and, just maybe, save the whole world in the process. Filled to the brim with heart-pounding action, miniature dragons, attacking chickens, and (sometimes friendly) pirates, The Adventurer's Guide to Treasure (and How to Steal It) is a laugh-out-loud, fast-paced adventure that will leave you breathless.
Adventures for Bored Adults: Games. Challenges. Activities. Treats.
by Paula McGuireTHIS BOOK IS A MUST-HAVE FOR: staycationing, holidaying, hen or stag dos, parties, office fun, quiet days in. Adventures for Bored Adults will help you beat the boredom with these 100+ hilarious solo and group games, competitive challenges, fun activities and relaxing treats.Whether you're with friends or family, on the move or at home, alone or in a group, it's your ultimate guide to a good time. Never a dull moment again.FEATURING: Bounce the Egg, Spaghetti Scrabble, Pick a sinner, the Gym Bunnies challenge, Morse Inspector, Ransom Devil, Secret Streaking and many more.
The Adventures of a Curious Cat: wit and wisdom from Curious Zelda, purrfect for cats and their humans
by Curious Zelda'Curiosity is more than a desire to discover. It's a lifestyle, and a purrvilege. It's hours of observing a fly on the wall. It's entering the sock drawer just before it closes. It's sniffing the lampshade one more time . . .'Such is the wisdom of Curious Zelda: social media star, agony aunt, yoga teacher, cat. In The Adventures of a Curious Cat she gives insight into her view of the world and dispenses unparalleled wisdom. Zelda explains, in her unique voice, how to handle humans, how to communicate with furniture, and most importantly how to live a life curiously. It's the ultimate self-help guide for any cat, or indeed, their human.
The Adventures of a Wimpy Superhero
by Tim CollinsJosh Walker is an ordinary teenage nerd. But when he puts his costume on, he is transformed into an ordinary teenage nerd with a costume on.After years of watching superhero movies, reading comics and fantasizing about being a crime-fighter, he decides to become one.First of all he needs a superhero name, a superhero costume and some superpowers. Then he needs to find some crime to fight. His diary chronicles his valiant attempts to make the world a better place and, armed with only plastic handcuffs and stink bombs, and stuck with his dependable but incompetent sidekick, Henry, Josh becomes embroiled in a dark world of crime, armed gangs and people illegally parking in disabled spaces.Accompanied by hilarious illustrations throughout, The Adventures of a Wimpy Superhero tells the story of the everyday dilemmas of superheroes in the real world through the hilarious diary of a fifteen-year-old boy. It asks the big questions, such as: Why would someone want to fight crime? Wouldn’t they get in the way of police (and school) work? Why would a tight-fitting Lycra costume help?Will Josh rise to the challenge and become a genuine hero? Or will he go home and hide under his bed?
Adventures of a Wimpy Werewolf: Hairy But Not Scary
by Tim CollinsLuke Thorpe is a fifteen-year-old wimp. Excellent at maths and terrible at sport, he likes to keep his head down and get on with his schoolwork. Yet mysterious and uncontrollable changes in his behaviour and appearance - patches of hair growing rapidly, howling rather than singing the hymns in assembly, sudden growth spurts causing his clothes to rip off - are threatening to rocket him out of obscurity. Join Luke on a journey of discovery, embarrassing mishaps and hilarity as he gets to the bottom of his werewolf roots, joins a pack, and finds himself en route to war against the vampires (whose number include a rather wimpy, but familiar face) ...
Adventures of a Wonky-Eyed Boy: The Short Arse Years
by Jason ByrneA hilarious childhood memoir from one of Ireland's funniest comedians. '"Mrs Byrne, you've a beautiful, very pale, ginger-haired baby boy with a wonky eye." As she was handed me by the midwife, my mother wept for all the wrong reasons. She could have shagged a platypus and I still would have come out better than this.' So begins Jason Byrne's Adventures of a Wonky-Eyed Boy, a laugh-out-loud memoir that captures the childhood adventures of an accident-prone youngster in 1970s and 1980s suburban Dublin. It was a time when your brother persuaded you to eat the grease behind the cooker by telling you it was caramel, your house was blown up by lightning, your dad mixed up the toothpaste and the 'arse-cream', and you fell asleep on Sunday nights to the sound of one of the neighbours - who were all named Paddy - drunkenly singing 'Magic Moments' in the good front room. All of this while trying to stop your wonky eye from giving the game away. Jason Byrne's childhood adventures are nostalgic, heart-warming and, above all, hilarious.
The Adventures of Azuki the Miniature Hedgehog and Friends
by Shuichi TsunodaAzuki, the much-loved Japanese miniature hedgehog who became an Instagram sensation, with over 407,000 followers, sadly died on the 20th January 2019. His daughter, Monaka, born on the 8th April 2018, is following in her father's footsteps. This is a collection of adorable photographs of Azuki, Monaka and their friends baking, playing pool, reading and enjoying other mini-adventures. In his heyday, Azuki was a mainstay of Bored Panda and was featured on Time magazine's website. New York magazine called him 'the only pure thing left in this world', and he appeared in the pages of the Independent and the Sun. He also had thousands of fans in Australia and New Zealand.The Adventures of Azuki the Miniature Hedgehog and Friends is the perfect gift book for the animal lover in your life who is over dogs and cats and into hedgehogs, for anyone who clicks on Cute Overload for a break from the news, and for Azuki and daughter Monaka's still-growing fan base.'In Japan, hedgehogs are thought to be a type of rat, and generally don't have a good image,' Tsunoda explains. 'By publishing a photo book, I aim to raise awareness.'
The Adventures of Billy Bog Brush: The Fire Brigade (The Adventures of Billy Bog Brush)
by Ian CampbellIt is a lovely day in Billy Bog Brush's neighbourhood. Billy is wondering what to do with himself, when he hears his neighbour, Mrs. Brown, screaming for help. Billy springs into action! Billy races to the scene where he finds Mrs. Brown’s house is on fire and she is locked out. Billy must use creative thinking to find a key. Will Billy manage to get the key before the fire brigade arrives? In this sweet children's story about courage and helping others, Billy learns how much fun it can be to be a hero!
The Adventures of Bottersnikes and Gumbles
by S. A. WakefieldThis stunning collection includes four of the best and favourite Bottersnikes and Gumbles stories chosen from the original beloved classics…