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Unbelievable!
by Paul JenningsBelieve it or not - a kid can grow younger, birds can bury you, ghosts have exams, and there are eyes in the milk. This is another collection of crazy, creepy stories from Paul Jennings.
Unbelievable!
by Paul JenningsBelieve it or not - a kid can grow younger, birds can bury you, ghosts have exams, and there are eyes in the milk. This is another collection of crazy, creepy stories from Paul Jennings.
Unbelievable!
by Paul JenningsBelieve it or not - a kid can grow younger, birds can bury you, ghosts have exams, and there are eyes in the milk. This is another collection of crazy, creepy stories from Paul Jennings.
Unbelievable!
by Paul JenningsBelieve it or not - a kid can grow younger, birds can bury you, ghosts have exams, and there are eyes in the milk. This is another collection of crazy, creepy stories from Paul Jennings.
Unbelievable! (PDF)
by Paul JenningsBelieve it or not - a kid can grow younger, birds can bury you, ghosts have exams, and there are eyes in the milk. This is another collection of crazy, creepy stories from Paul Jennings.
The 10 Worst of Everything: The Big Book of Bad
by Sam JordisonA celebration of failures, doom, disaster, mistakes, miscalculations, hubris, folly and really, really bad albums. Written by the author of the cult hit, Crap Towns. Most books celebrate the exceptions rather than the rule. They focus on the over-achievers, the unique and strange success stories. They don’t provide a fair reflection of the general tide of history – but they do make your average reader feel, well, more average. The 10 Worst of Everything redresses this imbalance and shows that you maybe shouldn’t take it too badly if your own plans aren’t working out. And there’s nearly always someone worse off than you. Which is reassuring, if nothing else. This is a fascinating compendium of disappointing facts about the world, vital information about places to avoid, mind-boggling information about medicine, history and science, pop culture misses, as well as all the daft things we do to each other. It will help to prove the old adage that you can always learn more from failure than you can from success. And hey, even if you don’t want to boost your brain, there’s still the fun of watching other people go wrong.
100% Essex: Doing It The Essex Way
by Wendy RobyThere's only one Essex - and due to the phenomenal popularity of the hit reality-show The Only Way is Essex, the county has transformed from somewhere to be scoffed at to somewhere to be celebrated. 100% Essex is a hilarious book that does just that! Crammed full of bling, banter, Essex birds and blokes, it champions the Essex way of life as shown on screen, seamlessly mixing tongue-in-cheek guides with anecdotes, jokes and quotes about Essex, as well as cheeky tricks and tips on how to act 100% Essex. Includes unmissable chapters on: Love life - chat-up lines, first date etiquette, how to marry well in Essex; Looking good - the 'art' of fake tanning, beauty cheats, top-ten things you might find in an Essex girl's Louis Vuitton; How to speak in Essex - 'babe', 'shu' uuuup', 'well jell' . . . and many more! This is the must-have handbook for all fans of the show and aspiring Essex girls and boys alike.
The Accidental Apostrophe: ... And Other Misadventures in Punctuation
by Caroline TaggartSunday Times bestselling author Caroline Taggart brings her usual gently humorous approach to punctuation, pointing out what really matters and what doesn’t.In Roman times, blocks of text were commonly written just as blocks without even wordspacingnevermindpunctuation to help the reader to interpret them. Orators using such texts as notes for a speech would prepare carefully so that they were familiar with the content and didn’t come a cropper over a confusion between, say, therapists and the rapists. As we entered the Christian era and sacred texts were widely read (by priests if not by the rest of us), it became ever more important to remove any likelihood of misinterpretation. To a potential murderer or adulterer, for example, there is a world of difference between ‘If you are tempted, yield not, resisting the urge to commit a sin’ and ‘If you are tempted, yield, not resisting the urge to commit a sin’. And the only surface difference is the positioning of a comma. So yes, you SMS-addicts and ‘let it all hang out’ Sixties children, punctuation does matter. And, contrary to what people who tear their hair out over apostrophes believe, it is there to help – to clarify meaning, to convey emphasis, to indicate that you are asking a question or quoting someone else’s words. It also comes in handy for telling your reader when to pause for breath. Caroline Taggart, who has made a name for herself expounding on the subjects of grammar, usage and words generally (and who for decades made her living putting in the commas in other people’s work), takes her usual gently humorous approach to punctuation. She points out what matters and what doesn’t; why using six exclamation marks where one will do is perfectly OK in a text but will lose you marks at school; why hang glider pilots in training really need a hyphen; and how throwing in the odd semicolon will impress your friends. Sometimes opinionated but never dogmatic, she is an ideal guide to the (perceived) minefield that is punctuation.By the same author:9781843176572 My Grammar and I (Or Should That Be 'Me'?)9781782432944 500 Words you Should Know
The Adventures of a Wimpy Superhero
by Tim CollinsJosh Walker is an ordinary teenage nerd. But when he puts his costume on, he is transformed into an ordinary teenage nerd with a costume on.After years of watching superhero movies, reading comics and fantasizing about being a crime-fighter, he decides to become one.First of all he needs a superhero name, a superhero costume and some superpowers. Then he needs to find some crime to fight. His diary chronicles his valiant attempts to make the world a better place and, armed with only plastic handcuffs and stink bombs, and stuck with his dependable but incompetent sidekick, Henry, Josh becomes embroiled in a dark world of crime, armed gangs and people illegally parking in disabled spaces.Accompanied by hilarious illustrations throughout, The Adventures of a Wimpy Superhero tells the story of the everyday dilemmas of superheroes in the real world through the hilarious diary of a fifteen-year-old boy. It asks the big questions, such as: Why would someone want to fight crime? Wouldn’t they get in the way of police (and school) work? Why would a tight-fitting Lycra costume help?Will Josh rise to the challenge and become a genuine hero? Or will he go home and hide under his bed?
Adventures of a Wimpy Werewolf: Hairy But Not Scary
by Tim CollinsLuke Thorpe is a fifteen-year-old wimp. Excellent at maths and terrible at sport, he likes to keep his head down and get on with his schoolwork. Yet mysterious and uncontrollable changes in his behaviour and appearance - patches of hair growing rapidly, howling rather than singing the hymns in assembly, sudden growth spurts causing his clothes to rip off - are threatening to rocket him out of obscurity. Join Luke on a journey of discovery, embarrassing mishaps and hilarity as he gets to the bottom of his werewolf roots, joins a pack, and finds himself en route to war against the vampires (whose number include a rather wimpy, but familiar face) ...
All I Got for Christmas Was This Lousy Joke Book
by Nick HarrisWhen you’re feeling disappointed or just a little blue, there’s nothing like good a laugh at some groanworthy jokes to raise the spirits – and that’s what you’ll get with this whopping compendium. With all-time classic subjects such as bankers, the battle of the sexes and Doctor, Doctor, as well as cheeky wordplay and one-liners, Nick Harris has collected together a bumper crop of mirth to turn that frown upside down!
Animal Jokes for Funny Kids
by Andrew Pinder Josephine SouthonA new title in the 'Buster Laugh-a-Lot' series, this paw-some collection has hundreds of hilarious animal-themed jokes for funny kids to share.Why do dogs run in circles?Because it’s hard to run in squares!How does a lion greet other animals?"Pleased to eat you."Why are frogs always so happy?They eat whatever bugs them.Filled with over 300 hiss-terical and a-moo-sing animal jokes that will have ewe in stitches, including one-liners, ridiculous puns, tongue twisters and much more. Designed to be easy to read with wonderfully silly illustrations for extra laughs, this laugh-out-loud collection will keep jokers entertained for hours on end.
Answers to Rhetorical Questions
by Caroline TaggartThe rhetorical question is one of those grammatical quirks that just doesn't seem to have any logic to it; a question that doesn't require an answer - what kind of question is that? However, now, thanks to Answers to Rhetorical Questions, you will no longer be left in the dark when someone asks you 'what love's got to do with it?', 'what shall we do with the drunken sailor?' or 'who wants to be a millionaire?' All these answers and many more are contained in this playful and informative gift book, which includes: - How long is a piece of string? - Whose life is it anyway? - How much is that doggy in the window? - How soon is now? - Are you blind? The days of being baffled and bemused are over thanks to this tongue-in-cheek book that will have its readers not only laughing out loud but perhaps even learning something utterly irrelevant too.
Are We Live?: The Funniest Bloopers from TV and Radio
by Marion ApplebyAre We Live? is a book about all the things that can and have gone wrong in a broadcasting studio. And, boy, has a lot of stuff gone wrong!Whether it's BBC Radio 4's appropriately-named James Naughtie dropping the c-bomb on the usually prudent Today programme, or an Antiques Roadshow ceramic expert mistakenly describing a piece of Victoria Regina porcelain as 'Rictoria Vagina', Are We Live? takes in the full spectrum of comedy gold captured on film - whether intentional or not!
Are You a Grumpy Old Git? Quiz Book
by Geoff TibballsFor decades, experts have been puzzled by what causes many previously happy, carefree young men to become perpetual moaners as soon as they hit middle age. And now they have found it, uncovered the truth behind the Holy Grail of modern medicine: the grumpy gene.To discover whether you (or your loved ones) possess the grumpy gene, this quiz book has been devised to gauge your reaction to hundreds of different situations, from airport scanning machines that never work to parcel delivery men who choose to ignore the address clearly marked on the label and prefer to drop off your parcel at any random house in the vicinity. Points are awarded for each answer and your total score indicates where you rate on the grumpy scale. Wry, funny and wonderfully well observed, this quiz book gives you all the tools you need to test for the grumpy gene – in yourself or in the old git in your life. With questions relating to weather, work, travel, gardening, technology, relationships, family and law and order (to name but a few), no stone is left unturned to find the answer to that eternal question: Are You a Grumpy Old Git?
Are You Turning Into Your Dad?
by Joseph PiercyCalling all men - have you started buying your jeans for comfort rather than style? Do you prefer to watch the football in your favourite armchair rather than at the pub? Have you recently found yourself enjoying Gardeners' Question time or thinking about joining the National Trust? STOP! It's official. You are turning into your dad. This hilarious book is packed full of stories, advice, amusing quotes and more, designed to help men of all ages spot those unthinkable, yet inevitable signs that you are, in fact, becoming like your dad. An ideal book for those men who are old before their time, and those who are just getting on a bit, it will either have them embracing their inner dad or running in the opposite direction.
The ASBO Fairy Tales
by Hans Christian AsbosenSit back, relax and allow Hans Christian Asbosen to tell you fantastical stories of far-away lands. Once upon a time there were. . . Hansel and Courtney and their trail of Wotsits, Jack and the Weedstalk, Snow White and the Seven Dads and Bling-erella. There's Little Red Riding Hoodie, the Crack Piper of Camden, mistakenly enlisted to rid London of its rats, and Sleep-In Beauty, who is cursed with an addiction to fairydust. Not quite as traditional as first glance might suggest, these hilarious reworkings of traditional classics are a wonderfully acerbic look at today's society.
Bad Teacher: Hilarious tales of staff misbehaving
by Jenny CromptonWe can all recall a little rule bending in our schooldays - the Geography teacher who preferred to talk football than fold mountains; the sixth form head who let out the odd swear word. But pity the poor students who encountered the educators in this book. This hilarious exposé of life inside a modern-day classroom covers a host of teacher tardiness, truanting and tellings-off, including: The role-play loving maths teacher who used the quiet time afforded during pupil tests to practice his swordplay for his forthcoming historical reenactment weekender. The bitter art teacher who, during the midst of his divorce from his third wife, cracked open a can of beer and asked his students why women are 'hardwired to be soul-sucking, money-grabbing b****es'. Covering all subjects from primary school to college, this assembly of bloopers will leave you amused and worried for our schoolchildren - all at the same time!
The Blade and the Passion
by Les DawsonLes Dawson is at his funniest in this, his last book, which he described as: 'A record of an era so lusty and physical that it makes the reader want to wear a truss.' Within these pages the devoted reader will find the real Quasimodo ('a dwarf whose sword was so swift it could sever a trout's eyebrows in mid-gulp'); Florence the whore ('reeking of mystery and an old singlet'); your heart will bleed for poor Walter the Moron who was left by his mother on so many doorsteps that he went through life calling a yoghurt pot 'Dad'. All of history's pageantry and many famous figures await your perusal, along with sex, torture, blood-chilling exploits and much more in this wickedly funny and madcap romp through the eras.
A Book for Grandad
by Geoff TibballsEveryone has favourite moments with their grandad that they treasure, whether it be a favourite anecdote, activity that is shared, or some wise advice from years of experience. A Book for Grandad is the perfect way to show a grandad just how much they are treasured and adored. Full of real-life stories, quips and sound advice to amuse and entertain, including: famous quotes and anecdotes on grandfatherhood; top-ten ways to get the most out of quality time with the grandchildren; exciting things to make and do; examples of grandfatherly wisdom that might raise a smile; heartwarming stories that remind us all why our grandads are so important. With black-and-white illustrations throughout, A Book for Grandad is a delightful celebration of why they are truly loved. It's a treasure trove no grandad should be without.
A Book for Granny: Because She Knows Best
by Lee FaberThere's no one quite like a Granny for providing love, care and wisdom for the whole family. A Book for Granny is full of fun, ideas and sound advice perfect for both new and well-seasoned Grans everywhere, including:- Ideas for entertaining the grandkids - Examples of the 'grandma-isms' that make each granny so special - Famous quotes and anecdotes on the art of being a grandmother - Ways to get the most out of quality time with the grandchildren - Exciting things to make and do - Heartwarming stories that remind us all why our grannies are so important. Beautifully jacketed with a lively design and decorated with lovely black-and-white illustrations throughout.
The Book of Senior Jokes: The Ones You Can Remember
by Geoff TibballsAgeing is one of those unavoidable facts of life, and what more can you do about it than laugh (admittedly, slightly defensively)? Just why fading physical and mental faculties should be so funny is something of a mystery, but they are and with The Book of Senior Jokes you can laugh off your forgetfulness, fading physique and new penchant for the afternoon nap. This book - and do, please, try to remember to pay for it - is a collection of the very best 'senior' jokes, perfect for anyone feeling their age, no matter how old they may be, that will help them celebrate all that is positive - and positively hilarious - about growing older.
The Book of Senior Moments
by Shelley KleinHave you ever referred to your oldest and closest friend as 'Thingy'? Reached the top of the landing, only to realize that you have no idea why you came upstairs in the first place? Congratulations - or commiserations - you've had your first senior moment! Fear not, for help is at hand. The Book of Senior Moments introduces the reader to a wonderful collection of these little passages, drawn from the experiences of everyone from politicians to pundits. It includes exit strategies for when you've been ambushed by your memory, as well as tips on how to avoid getting ambushed in the first place. Part guide, part humorous overview, and crammed with advice, examples, anecdotes, confessions, tips, retorts and excuses, this is an absolutely essential book for anyone growing long in the tooth and short of memory.
Breaking Yawn: The Second Book in the Twishite Saga: A Parody
by Stephfordy MayoHeffa Lump is still living at home in Spatula having graduated from the Spatula Academy of Fictional Excellence, and is looking forward to a life of notoriety as the girlfriend of the fabulously wealthy vampire Teddy Kelledy. Still desperate for fame, Heffa considers entering Undead's Got Talent, judged in part by the fearsome Vindicti - the only problem is, she's not a member of the undead. . . yet! She soon realizes that hers and Teddy's love story is so amazing that it alone could make them both famous! As her plans for fame become more elaborate, she graciously allows Teddy to give her a blinging engagement ring and the society wedding of the season, with as much media coverage as possible. However, the course of true love and Heffa's frenzied rise to fame is threatened by The Vindicti, who want to make sure that the Kelledys' incredible celebrity power is under their control. WIll Heffa ever get fame, fangs and a fabulously famous family? Will Teddy get the wedding night he lusts after? Find out in this hilarious new addition to the Twishite parody series.
Cat Couture
by Jason McGroartyA series of portraits of feline fashionista Hummus taken by her owner, professional photographer Jason McGroarty. Hummus was diagnosed with Feline Leukaemia when she was a kitten and is unable to play outside with other cats. However, Hummus is a total fashion diva and likes to model new looks in her own personal cat-sized studio. In these unique, full-colour portraits Jason channels the quirky and sassy personality of this extremely well-dressed and stylish cat.