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  • MP3 (MPEG audio layer 3) - Provides audio only with no text. These books are created with a text-to-speech engine and spoken by Kendra, a high quality synthetic voice from Ivona. Any device that supports MP3 playback is compatible.
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Showing 1 through 25 of 1,798 results

100 Dogs

by Michael Whaite

Small dog, tall dog, playing with a ball dog, big dog, dig dog burying a bone . . .Can there really be 100 dogs doing 100 doggy things packed into the pages of this picture book? Follow the bouncy rhyme as it weaves its way through an array of hilarious hounds (from petted pugs to silly sausage dogs) and find out . . .This silly celebration of dogs is bursting with funny details to spot and crazy, characterful dogs to fall in love with - a bark-aloud book to return time and again.

100 Things Every Man Should Know

by Gareth May

This manual for the modern man is a brilliantly witty, honest and down-to-earth guide, which tells you all the things your best friend can't. Drawing on centuries of male wisdom, it covers every conceivable situation, including:- How to hit a bullseye in darts- Know your beef- What to look for in a second hand car- Essential DIY tips- How to organise a stag do- How to give yourself a number one cutThe perfect gift for any man who has ever struggled to tie a perfect tie or fix a U-bend.

100 Things I Hate About Pregnancy: What You'll Detest When You're Expecting

by Kate Konopicky

Though a very special time for every woman, pregnancy can be pretty stressful, and unless you've been there it's hard to appreciate what a woman is going through. In this hilarious book Kate Konopicky lists 100 things that she hated when she was pregnant, from baby on board badges ('Not funny. Just twee.'), to jokes about cravings ('No I don't want a piece of coal for my lunch and I haven't eaten the potting compost') , dropping food on your stomach, the fact that HE'S not pregnant, having to decorate the nursery, maternity bras and horrible baby stationery.

100 Tricks to Appear Smart In Meetings: How To Get By Without Even Trying

by Sarah Cooper

The book that’s missing from 55 million offices and conference rooms around the world: the idiot’s guide to the idiot’s guide to conquering the cor­porate meeting. In it you will learn the essential subtle tricks that pay big dividends by making you look really clever in meetings: con­stant nodding, pretend concentration, useless rhetorical questions, how to nail the big presentation by pacing and getting someone else to control your slides. Complete with illustrated tips, examples, and scenarios, Sarah Cooper's 100 Tricks to Appear Smart in Meetings gives you actionable ways to use words like 'actionable', in order to sound smart.

101 Uses Of A Dead Roach

by Howard Marks Simon Bond

Howard Marks is king of the dope-smoking world: Mr Nice is now at a staggering half a million copies sold, and the Book of Dope Stories has sold 100,000 copies in six months. Simon Bond is a well-known cartoonist: the classic 101 Uses For A Dead Cat came out in an omnibus edition last year - twenty years after it was first published. 101 Uses For A Dead Roach will be a humour classic - 101 cartoons ranging from the sublime to the ridiculous, of how to use the un-useable part of your joint.

2012: Everything You Need To Know About The Apocalypse

by Manda Scott

A pocket compilation of the Mayan legends of 2012, featuring everything you need to know about the Apocalypse in easy to digest facts. The first thing you need to know about 2012 is that it's just like any other year.And the second thing you need to know... is that it really isn't...The Maya didn't make it their 'end date' for nothing...2012 collects everything you need to know about how, why and what is going to happen in this apocalyptic year, as outlined in the ancient Mayan prophesies in a humourous and insightful way, the facts, the fantasties and the frankly extraordinary.

21st-Century Yokel: Cats Of The River (Tom Cox's Country Yokel Posters Ser.)

by Tom Cox

21st-Century Yokel explores the way we can be tied inescapably to landscape, whether we like it or not, often through our family and our past. It’s not quite a nature book, not quite a humour book, not quite a family memoir, not quite folklore, not quite social history, not quite a collection of essays, but a bit of all six.It contains owls, badgers, ponies, beavers, otters, bats, bees, scarecrows, dogs, ghosts, Tom’s loud and excitable dad and, yes, even a few cats. It’s full of Devon’s local folklore – the ancient kind, and the everyday kind – and provincial places and small things. But what emerges from this focus on the small are themes that are broader and bigger and more definitive.The book’s language is colloquial and easy and its eleven chapters are discursive and wide-ranging, rambling even. The feel of the book has a lot in common with the country walks Tom Cox was on when he composed much of it: it’s bewitched by fresh air, intrepid in minor ways, haunted by weather and old stories and the spooky edges of the outdoors, restless, sometimes foolish, and prone to a few detours... but it always reaches its intended destination.The book is illustrated with Tom’s own landscape photographs and linocuts by his mother.

3 of a Kind (Knightley and Son #3)

by Rohan Gavin

Who will hold the winning hand? Sherlock meets Ocean's Eleven in this wickedly funny, action-packed crime caper.Darkus Knightley is used to expecting the unexpected. An extraordinary solver of crimes, with immense powers of deduction, and regularly found bedecked in tweed, Darkus is anything but the average 13-year-old. But he is the person to call when strange goings-on are afoot!Despite trying to leave his detective ways behind to lead a normal teenage life, when his father's loyal housekeeper, Bogna, goes missing, Darkus must return to the family fold and follow the clues to America and the bright lights of Las Vegas. Alongside his father, Alan, and stepsister, Tilly, Darkus must once again face the deadly criminal organisation, the Combination – and this time, all bets are off. With danger at every turn, Knightley and Son will need an ace or two up their sleeves in order to win this game. Will the odds be in our detective duo's favour? Or will this be the Knightleys' final roll of the dice? Perfect for fans of Sherlock, this thrilling crime adventure will keep you on the edge of your seats. www.knightleyandson.com

30-Something and Over It: What Happens When You Wake Up and Don't Want to Go to Work . . . Ever Again

by Kasey Edwards

Kasey Edwards has everything she's always wanted: a successful career and the lifestyle and assets to match. But she's empty and uninspired and doesn't want to go to work . . . Ever again. Terrified that she'll spend the rest of her life wearing pinstripes and pretending to care about 'adding value', Kasey embarks on a quest to rediscover passion and purpose in her life and work. We follow her on a journey of self-discovery as she looks for meaning in a puppy's eyes, begs her gynaecologist to cure her existential crisis, dabbles with the Law of Attraction and braves ten days of silent meditation. Meanwhile, her best friend Emma, who is experiencing a similar crisis, concentrates her search in the fields of casual sex and vodka shots. This irreverent yet poignant memoir will make you question our definition of the 'perfect life', laugh at the absurdity of the modern workplace and be warmed by the story of a friendship. Rise above your office cubicle for a moment and join Kasey in asking life's big questions - and find the courage to listen to your answers.

31 Dream Street

by Lisa Jewell

From the Number One bestselling author of Then She Was Gone, comes a romance about neighbours brought together by fate . . .For years curious and warm-hearted Leah has watched the tumbledown house across the street and its collection of slightly odd-looking inhabitants. Then one day - out of the blue - she gets a chance to peek behind the front door, when its owner comes to her with a problem.Toby's house has become home to all the waifs and strays he's helped out over the years. He'd like to sell up, move on and get a life, but he wouldn't think of turfing his tenants out. And they wouldn't think of letting him.So when Leah agrees to help out, things suddenly start to happen. But are all changes for the best? And can Toby and Leah sprinkle enough magic dust around to make their own dreams come true?'Another gem from the modern-classic queen' Company'A big warm-hearted book' Marie Claire

365: Stories

by James Robertson

365 is James Robertson's innovative collection of 365 stories, each 365 words long.In 2013, James Robertson wrote a story every day. Each was exactly 365 words long. A year later, on a daily basis, the stories were published on the Five Dials website. Now the 365 stories are gathered together in one volume. Some draw on elements of ancient myth and legend, others are outtakes from Scottish history and folklore; there are squibs and satires, songs and ballads in disguise, fairytales, stories inspired by dreams or in the form of interviews, and personal memories and observations. Underpinning all of them are vital questions: Who are we? What are we doing here? What happens next? 'Wow. James Robertson wrote a 365-word short story each day in 2013. They'll be posted throughout 2014' Ian Rankin, via Twitter 'A great storyteller' The Times 'One of Britain's best contemporary novelists' Irvine Welsh, Guardian James Robertson is the author of five novels, The Professor of Truth, And the Land Lay Still, The Testament of Gideon Mack, Joseph Knight and The Fanatic. The Testament of Gideon Mack was longlisted for the 2006 Man Booker Prize and selected for Richard and Judy's Book Club the following year. Joseph Knight was the Saltire Scottish Book of the Year in 2003 and And the Land Lay Still was recipient of the same prize in 2010.

The 7th Function of Language: A Novel

by Sam Taylor Laurent Binet

'One of the funniest, most riotously inventive and enjoyable novels you’ll read this year' - ObserverRoland Barthes is knocked down in a Paris street by a laundry van. It’s February 1980 and he has just come from lunch with Francois Mitterrand. Barthes dies soon afterwards. History tells us it was an accident. But what if it were an assassination? What if Barthes was carrying a document of unbelievable, global importance? A document explaining the seventh function of language – an idea so powerful it gives whoever masters it the ability to convince anyone, in any situation, to do anything. Police Captain Jacques Bayard and his reluctant accomplice Simon Herzog set off on a chase that takes them from the corridors of power to backstreet saunas and midnight meetings. What they discover is a worldwide conspiracy involving the President, murderous Bulgarians and a secret international debating society.

80: Poems by Roger McGough

by Roger McGough

There are eighty of Roger McGough's favourite poems in this hugely enjoyable collection, gathered together into a new volume to celebrate Roger's 80th birthday! Sometimes funny, sometimes sad, but always inventive, the enormous variety of poems from this hugely popular poet will never cease to amaze and delight children of all ages.

The Aargh to Zzzz of Parenting: An Alternative Guide

by Joanna Simmons Jay Curtis

A is for Anxiety, Alcohol and awful Activities.B is for Bedtime, Baking and Boredom. C is for Childcare and Cooking With Your Coat on. The Aargh to Zzzz of Parenting puts two fingers up to the idea that motherhood is the most rewarding experience a woman can have. Taking a laugh-out-loud look at life with young children, it taps into the very normal, but hard-to-admit frustrations that many parents feel. This brilliantly alternative A - Z of parenting is essential reading for all mums and dads who 'really love their kids, but...'

The Abominables (PDF)

by Sharon Rentta Eva Ibbotson

A hundred years ago, in the Himalayan peaks of Nanvi Dar, the daughter of an English earl is kidnapped by a huge hairy monster. In a secret valley Agatha Farlingham is introduced to a family of motherless yetis and devotes her life to their upbringing. She teaches them to speak, tells them stories and insists on polite manners. But as the decades pass, tourists come to the mountains, a hotel is built and yeti-hunters arrive. Agatha knows that there is one place in the world where they would be protected - her ancestral home at Farley Towers. When a boy and his sister stumble upon her hidden valley, she knows she has found the courageous people who will carry out her plan. The excited yetis are smuggled into the bridal suite at the hotel. A freezer lorry is waiting to put them into semi-hibernation on the long trip home. But the baby yak that has fallen in love with the youngest yeti foils the refrigeration plan and they set off on a hugely entertaining road trip half way across the world. In the Sultan of Aslerfan's kingdom the yetis release all the animals from his zoo. In the Alps they rescue a lost child in a blizzard. In Spain, the yak creates chaos at a bullfight. But when they arrive in England, a terrible shock awaits them at Farley Towers... This early novel, never submitted for publication, contains all the trademark qualities that made Eva's subsequent books so successful; comedy, loveable and eccentric characters, perfectly-crafted plotting, and inspiring themes of tolerance, kindness to animals, and the defeat of cruelty.

About a Boy: The Shooting Script (Penguin Readers Audio Pack Ser.)

by Nick Hornby

Nick Hornby's second bestselling novel is about sex, manliness and fatherhood. Will is thirty-six, comfortable and child-free. And he's discovered a brilliant new way of meeting women - through single-parent groups. Marcus is twelve and a little bitnerdish: he's got the kind of mother who made him listen to Joni Mitchell rather than Nirvana. Perhaps they can help each other out a little bit, and both can start to act their age.

About a Boy: The Shooting Script (Penguin Readers Audio Pack Ser.)

by Nick Hornby

About a Boy is Nick Hornby's comic and heart-warming million-copy bestseller 'How cool was Will Freeman?' Too cool! At thirty-six, he's as hip as a teenager. He's single, child-free, goes to the right clubs and knows which trainers to wear. He's also found a great way to score with women: attend single parents' groups full of available (and grateful) mothers, all hoping to meet a Nice Guy. Which is how Will meets Marcus, the oldest twelve-year-old on the planet. Marcus is a bit strange: he listens to Joni Mitchell and Mozart, looks after his mum and has never owned a pair of trainers. But Marcus latches on to Will - and won't let go. Can Will teach Marcus how to grow up cool? And can Marcus help Will just to grow up? This astonishing novel, now a modern classic, was adapted for the acclaimed 2002 film About A Boy, starring Hugh Grant and Nicholas Hoult. Fans of One Day by David Nicholls and Any Human Heart by William Boyd will devour this book, as will lovers of fiction everywhere.

About Last Night . . .: 1st 3 Chapters

by Catherine Alliott

The immensely funny and heartwarming number one bestseller. Molly gets a second chance in life - but will she have the courage to take it?Molly has traded London for a dream home in the country - except it was her husband's dream, not hers. And David is, well, rather dead now.So when a distant relative leaves her a London townhouse, Molly is ready to quit 'The Good Life' and return to her good life.But there's a rather tall, handsome problem - a man who's already living in Molly's new house. And when a face from her past reappears, she's no longer quite sure where she belongs.Do any of the men in Molly's life have honourable intentions?Is she ready to ditch muddy wellies for high heels?Or is she saying goodbye to the delights of country life too soon?Praise for Catherine Alliott'Irresistible' Daily Mail'Compulsively readable' The Times'Possibly my favourite writer' Marian Keyes

Abroad (Penguin Specials)

by Penelope Lively

A brilliantly funny original short story from Booker Prize winning author Penelope Lively.'Anyone artistic needed Abroad in the 1950s.'Paul and his girlfriend are artists in need of subject matter. Arresting, evocative subject matter. So they decide to go Abroad, as much as possible, for as long as possible. Because Abroad is full of well furnished scenery. Particularly peasants. Real, earthy, traditional peasants. Except you shouldn't really call them peasants should you? 'Country people'. Abroad is full of country people.In this funny, deftly written short story, Penelope Lively satirises an arty student of the 50s, a precursor of the gap year traveller, who hasn't learnt as much from her time Abroad as she likes to think . . .Penelope Lively is the author of many prize-winning novels and short-story collections for both adults and children. She has twice been shortlisted for the Booker Prize: once in 1977 for her first novel, The Road to Lichfield, and again in 1984 for According to Mark. She later won the 1987 Booker Prize for her highly acclaimed novel Moon Tiger. Her other books include Going Back; Judgement Day; Next to Nature, Art; Perfect Happiness; Passing On; City of the Mind; Cleopatra's Sister; Heat Wave; Beyond the Blue Mountains, a collection of short stories; Oleander, Jacaranda, a memoir of her childhood days in Egypt; Spiderweb; her autobiographical work, A House Unlocked; The Photograph; Making It Up; Consequences; Family Album, which was shortlisted for the 2009 Costa Novel Award, and How It All Began. She is a popular writer for children and has won both the Carnegie Medal and the Whitbread Award. She was appointed CBE in the 2001 New Year's Honours List, and DBE in 2012. Penelope Lively lives in London.

Academia Obscura: The Hidden Silly Side Of Higher Education

by Glen Wright

If you think the groves of academe are all stuffiness, elbow patches and greying old men... think again. Academia Obscura is an irreverent glimpse inside the ivory tower, exposing the eccentric and slightly unhinged world of university life. Take a trip through the spectrum of academic oddities and unearth the Easter eggs buried in peer reviewed papers, the weird and wonderful world of scholarly social media, and rats in underpants.Procrastinating PhD student Glen Wright invites you to peruse his cabinet of curiosities and discover what academics get up to when no one's looking. Welcome to the hidden silly side of higher education.

The Accidental Family: Mum's The Word ... (Sophie Mills Ser. #2)

by Rowan Coleman

Perfect for fans of Jojo Moyes, Marian Keyes and Sophie Kinsella, this is a funny, warm-hearted novel from the author of The Memory Book, which was featured in the Richard & Judy book club 2014'I immediately read The Memory Book and it's WONDERFUL ... I'm so happy because she's written other books and its so lovely to find a writer you love who has a backlist' Marian KeyesSix months ago, city girl Sophie Mills gave up everything to move to Cornwall. All to be with the man she thinks she loves, and his two daughters who she knows she loves. But adjusting to life as a semi-permanent mother in the countryside isn't quite as easy as Sophie imagined it would be. Designer shoes aren't nearly so readily available - not that she ever has any occasion to wear them - and her best pair of vintage Manolo's have already found their way into the girls' dressing-up box. Sometimes Sophie doesn't recognise herself; which most of the time makes her happy but every now and then scares her to death. The hardest thing of all is making that final commitment to actually move in with Louis and the girls - she's been the longest paying guest of the Avalon B&B, St Ives in the history of the establishment. And as she tries to adapt to country life, her newly adopted family and discovering more about Louis's past, she begins to wonder if she's got what it takes to make it all work...

The Accidental Mother

by Rowan Coleman

Perfect for fans of Jojo Moyes, Marian Keyes and Sophie Kinsella, this is a funny, warm-hearted novel from the author of The Memory Book, which was featured in the Richard & Judy book club 2014'I immediately read The Memory Book and it's WONDERFUL ... I'm so happy because she's written other books and its so lovely to find a writer you love who has a backlist' Marian KeyesSophie Mills has worked her Manolo Blahniks off to reach the near-top of her profession. And she's very happy with her priorities in life - her job, her neurotic cat Artemis and her passion for shoes. After all, relationships only get in the way. And as for children? She hasn't even begun to think about them yet. Until one day an unexpected visitor brings news of a strange inheritance and Sophie is suddenly, out of the blue, in sole charge of two children under the age of six. But motherhood can't be all that hard, can it? Within twenty-four hours, her make-up is smeared all over the bathroom, Artemis has taken up residence on top of her wardrobe, and Sophie is in despair. And all her unconventional mother can suggest is Dr Roberts' Complete Dog Training and Care Manual.Determined to rise to the challenge, Sophie soon realises that she'll need more than a business plan to cope with all this...

The Accidental Tourist

by Anne Tyler

How does a man addicted to routine - a man who flosses his teeth before love-making - cope with the chaos of everyday life? With the loss of his son, the departure of his wife and the arrival of Muriel, a dog trainer from the Meow-Bow dog clinic, Macon's attempts at ordinary life are tragically and comically undone.OVER A MILLION ANNE TYLER BOOKS SOLD‘She’s changed my perception on life’ Anna Chancellor ‘One of my favourite authors ’ Liane Moriarty‘She spins gold' Elizabeth Buchan ‘Anne Tyler has no peer’ Anita Shreve‘My favourite writer, and the best line-and-length novelist in the world’ Nick Hornby ‘A masterly author’ Sebastian Faulks ‘Tyler is not merely good, she is wickedly good’ John Updike‘I love Anne Tyler’ Anita Brookner ‘Her fiction has strength of vision, originality, freshness, unconquerable humour’ Eudora Welty

According to Ruth

by Jane Feaver

It is 1979 and in a ramshackle cottage in Northumberland fifteen-year-old Ruth is desperate to leave behind the gradual implosion of her parents' marriage as she pursues her own quest for love and excitement. Fantasies about the son of the local farmer offer a temporary distraction from the rising tensions at home but Ruth soon discovers that the family are coming to terms with a very different tragedy...Told largely from the darkly humorous perspective of Ruth, Jane Feaver's novel is an engaging and profound insight into the relationships within families and the nature of love and loss, of grief and grieving.

According to Yes

by Dawn French

Dawn French, number one bestselling author of A Tiny Bit Marvellous and Oh Dear Silvia, returns with her joyously funny new novel, According To YES . . . NOW at this special priceThe Foreign Land of the Very Wealthy - otherwise known as Manhattan's Upper East Side - has its own rigid code of behaviour. It's a code strictly adhered to by the Wilder-Bingham family. Emotional displays - unacceptable. Unruly behaviour - definitely not welcome. Fun - no thanks.This is Glenn Wilder-Bingham's kingdom. A beautifully displayed impeccably edited fortress of restraint. So when Rosie Kitto, an eccentric thirty-eight-year-old primary school teacher from England, bounces into their lives with a secret sorrow and a heart as big as the city, nobody realises that she hasn't read the rule book.For the Wilder-Bingham family, whose lives begin to unravel thread by thread, the consequences are explosive. Because after a lifetime of saying no, what happens when everyone starts saying . . . yes?'I adored According to YES. It's so different to anything I've read in forever, so charming, wise, brilliantly written. I loved it all' Marian Keyes'There is lots of fun to be had reading this book. It's impossible not to warm to Rosie, a funny and open-hearted woman who acts as a salve and comfort blanket for this unhappy, inhibited family. There's something quite joyous about the way she unashamedly romps her way through the novel, changing the lives of those around her for the better' Express'French can spin a yarn . . . which sets According to YES apart from the usual chick-lit template. Think the vicar of Dibley, without the dog collar. YES YES YES indeed' IndependentFurther praise for Dawn French:'A fantastic slam-dunk pageturner. Funny, enriching . . . page after page I laughed out loud' Mail on Sunday'A hilarious snapshot of family life in the twenty-first century' Sunday Express'Extremely funny' Sunday Times'Dawn tackles the big ones - love, death, grief, childhood, motherhood, parenthood - head on' Guardian'Makes you laugh on every page' The Times'A brilliantly observed, very funny novel of family life' Woman and Home'Funny, really enjoyable, highly recommended. A wonderful writer - witty, wise, poignant' Daily Mail

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