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There but for the
by Ali SmithThere but for the is the sparkling satirical novel by bestselling Ali Smith'There once was a man who, one night between the main course and the sweet at a dinner party, went upstairs and locked himself in one of the bedrooms of the house of the people who were giving the dinner party . . .'As time passes by and the consequences of this stranger's actions ripple outwards, touching the owners, the guests, the neighbours and the whole country, so Ali Smith draws us into a beautiful, strange place where everyone is so much more than they at first appear. There but for the was hailed as one of the best books of 2011 by Jeanette Winterson, A.S. Byatt, Patrick Ness, Sebastian Barry, Boyd Tonkin, Erica Wagner and Nick Barley.'Dazzlingly inventive' A.S. Byatt'Whimsically devastating. Playful, humorous, serious, profoundly clever and profoundly affecting' Guardian'A real gem' Erica Wagner, The Times'Eccentric, adventurous, intoxicating, dazzling. This is a novel with serious ambitions that remains huge fun to read' Literary Review'If you liked Smith's earlier fiction, you will know that she enjoys setting up a situation before chucking in a literary Molotov cocktail then describing what happens' Sunday Express'Wonderful, word-playful, compelling' Jeanette Winterson'Smith can make anything happen, which is why she is one of our most exciting writers today' Daily Telegraph'I take my hat off to Ali Smith. Her writing lifts the soul' Evening Standard
The Things that Nobody Knows: 501 Mysteries of Life, the Universe and Everything
by William HartstonHERE ARE MANY, MANY THINGS THAT NOBODY KNOWS . . .Why are so many giraffes gay?Has human evolution stopped?Where did our alphabet come from?Can robots become self-aware?Can lobsters recognize other lobsters by sight?What goes on inside a black hole?Are cell phones bad for us?Why can't we remember anything from our earliest years?Full of the mysteries of life, the universe and everything, The Things that Nobody Knows is a fascinating and unputdownable exploration of the limits of human knowledge of our planet, its history and culture, and the universe beyond.
This Charming Man: A Novel
by Marian KeyesFour very different women, one awfully charming man and a dark secret that binds them all . . . Marian Keyes' This Charming Man follows women who have been caught in a web of modern love. 'Everybody remembers where they were the day they heard that Paddy de Courcy was getting married'Slick, handsome politician Paddy de Courcy is on the up. His party is set to do well in the elections and he's just announced his engagement to the beautiful Alicia. Which is news to his girlfriend, Lola, who, within hours, finds herself dumped and warned not to talk to the press.Yet journalist Grace is on the prowl. She has been after Paddy ever since he ruined her sister Marnie's life way back in college. Grace is looking for the inside story and thinks Lola holds the key.But do any of them know the real Paddy? 'So funny, so perceptive, so real. I changed my life for this book' Mail on Sunday'The laughs come fast and furious . . . a gripping, compelling tale' Sunday Independent'The queen of page-turners . . . brimming with her trademark down-to-earth wit' Cosmopolitan'Gripping from the start . . . the master at her best' Daily Telegraph
This Is a Book
by Demetri MartinHow To Read This BookIf you're reading this sentence then you've pretty much gotit. Good job. Just keep going the way you are.Some Honours and Awards for which Demetri Martin would qualifyNational Champion at being the exboyfriend who is most consistently awkward around his exgirlfriend or anyone who is even a casual acquaintance of hers. A scholarship awarded to Greek Americans who have done very little for the Greek American community but definitely look Greek American, no matter what outfit they are wearing.Top 40 people under 40 who live in his apartment building.Lifetime Achievement Award for Wanting a Lifetime Achievement Award.Congressional Medal of Snacking.
This Moose Belongs to Me
by Oliver JeffersWINNER of the Irish Book Awards Children’s Book of the Year 2012 and the Honour Award for Illustration from Childrens' Books Ireland, 2013. An exquisite new book, featuring a boy and his moose, from internationally bestselling, multi-prize-winning picture book creator, Oliver Jeffers.
Those Kids From Town Again
by Adrian AlingtonSome further incidents in the lives of the children and grown-ups, whose previous adventures were recorded in the These Our Strangers and the film Those Kids from Town.Those Kids from Town is a 1942 British comedy-drama film, directed by Lance Comfort and starring George Cole, Harry Fowler and Percy Marmont. The film was adapted for the screen by Adrian Alington from his own topical novel These Our Strangers, dealing with the experiences of a group of wartime evacuee children from London, sent to safety in a rural village, and their interaction with the host community.
TOLLINS II: DYNAMITE TALES
by Conn IgguldenMore tall tales about tiny people from the bestselling author of THE DANGEROUS BOOK FOR BOYS – now in paperback with all new black and white illustrations… But whatever you do, DON’T call them fairies!
Top Gear: The Secrets Behind Top Gear's Craziest Creations
by Richard PorterAmbitious but Rubbish reveals the off-camera secrets behind some of Top Gear’s most memorable creations. From the challenge of turning a Reliant Robin into a rocket and the genesis of the Hammerhead-i Eagle Thrust electric car to the complexities of building a caravan airship and the inspiration for destruction-testing a Toyota Hilux, this book is packed with the previously untold stories behind dozens of classic TV moments. Top Gear has never shied away from trying to answer questions no one has even thought to ask. Questions like ‘Can you make a convertible people carrier?’, ‘Can you cross the Channel in a pick-up?’ and ‘Can you turn a combine harvester into a snow plough?’. Ambitious but Rubbish reveals how those insane ideas came about with remarkable tales of ingenious invention and idiotic engineering. This book is essential reading for any Top Gear fan and a terrific insight into the creation of the world’s biggest car show. It’s also a terrifying window into the minds of Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May. Don’t say you weren’t warned about that last one.
The Top Gear Years
by Jeremy ClarksonThe Top Gear Years brings together Jeremy Clarkson's collected magazine columns for the first time.Clarkson at his pithy, provocative, hilarious bestWe now know all about the world according to Clarkson. In a series of bestselling books Jeremy has revealed it to be a puzzling, frustrating place where all too often the lunatics seem to be running the asylum. But in The Top Gear Years, we get something rather different. Because ten years ago, at an ex-RAF aerodrome in Surrey, Jeremy and his friends built a world that was rather more to his liking: they called it Top Gear HQ. And Top Gear is for Jeremy what the jungle is for Tarzan: the perfect place to work and play. But they didn't stop there . . . With this corner of Surrey sorted out, Jeremy and the boys decided to have a crack at the rest of the world. With Top Gear Live charging through with the subtlety of a touring heavy rock band and far flung outposts across the globe from North America to China - an empire of petrol-headed upon which the sun never set. And all along Jeremy was writing about it in Top Gear magazine. Here, collected for the first time, are the fruits of his labours: the cars, the hijinx, the pleasure and the pain. Brilliantly written and laugh out loud funny.The Top Gear Years follows Jeremy Clarkson's many bestselling titles including Round the Bend and The World according to Clarkson series. Praise for Jeremy Clarkson:'Jeremy Clarkson is very funny and his well-honed political incorrectness is a joy. .' - Daily TelegraphJeremy Clarkson began his writing career on the Rotherham Advertiser. Since then he has written for the Sun, the Sunday Times, the Rochdale Observer, the Wolverhampton Express & Star, all of the Associated Kent Newspapers and Lincolnshire Life. Today he is the tallest person working in British television.
Trainspotting (Contraseñas Ser. #Vol. 158)
by Irvine WelshThe bestselling novel by Irvine Welsh that provided the inspiration for Danny Boyle’s hit filmChoose us. Choose life. Choose mortgage payments; choose washing machines; choose cars; choose sitting oan a couch watching mind-numbing and spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fuckin junk food intae yir mooth. Choose rotting away, pishing and shiteing yersel in a home, a total fuckin embarrassment tae the selfish, fucked-up brats ye've produced. Choose life.
The Trap (The Magnificent 12 #2)
by Michael GrantSometimes one hero isn't enough – sometimes you need a full dozen. Mack’s search for his dazzling dozen continues in the second instalment of this funny, action-packed fantasy series by the New York Times bestselling author of GONE.
The Trials and Triumphs of Les Dawson
by Louis BarfeLes Dawson: a comedian who, more than any other, spoke for the phlegmatic, resigned, sarcastic, glorious British way of life. This is his story.A Northern lad who climbed out of the slums thanks to an uncommonly brilliant mind, Les Dawson was always the underdog, but his bark was funnier and more incisive than many comics who claimed to bite. Married twice in real life, he had a third wife in his comic world - a fictional ogre built from spare parts left by fleeing Nazis at the end of World War II - and an equally frightening mother-in-law. He was down to earth, yet given to eloquent, absurd flights of fancy. He was endlessly generous with his time, but slow to buy a round of drinks. He was a mass of contradictions. In short, he was human, he was genuine, and that's why audiences loved him.
Triggs: The Autobiography of Roy Keane's Dog
by TriggsThe explosive, no-holds-barred autobiography of Triggs, Roy Keane's confidant, adviser...and dog!Ten major trophies. A missed Champions League final. Player of the Year awards. Alf-Inge Haaland. Drunken nights. Contract negotiations. Patrick Vieira. Prawn sandwiches. The explosive end to Roy's relationship with Ireland and Manchester United. Triggs - TV lover, hypochondriac, noted wit, football genius and best friend to the most talked-about footballer of his generation - was witness to it all. Funny, frank and never less than 110 per cent mean-spirited, Triggs tells the truth about what it was like to be a central player in the extraordinary drama of her master's life.
Tristram Shandy: And A Sentimental Journey Through France And Italy, Volume 2 - Primary Source Edition (The Penguin English Library #Vol. Iii)
by Laurence Sterne'I am got, I know not how, into a cold unmetaphorical vein of infamous writing, and cannot take a plumb-lift out of it for my soul; so must be obliged to go on writing like a Dutch commentator to the end of the chapter, unless something be done ...'Laurence Sterne's great masterpiece of bawdy humour and rich satire defies any attempt to categorize it. Part novel, part digression, its gloriously disordered narrative interweaves the birth and life of the unfortunate 'hero' Tristram Shandy, the eccentric philosophy of his father Walter, the amours and military obsessions of Uncle Toby, and a host of other characters, including Dr Slop, Corporal Trim and the parson Yorick. A joyful celebration of the endless possibilities of the art of fiction, Tristram Shandy is also a wry demonstration of its limitations.The Penguin English Library - 100 editions of the best fiction in English, from the eighteenth century and the very first novels to the beginning of the First World War.
The Trouble With Dragons
by Debi GlioriThe world is populated by some beastly dragons who care nothing for how much they mess up the oceans, chop down the trees, gobble up all the food and use everything up without stopping to think. Those dragons need to wake up to what they are doing to their world before it is too late ... A delightful and energy-filled picture book that addresses concerns about the environment in the most child-centric and delightful way possible.Brilliantly read by Amelia Fox. Please note that audio is not supported by all devices, please consult your user manual for confirmation.
The True History of the Blackadder: The Unadulterated Tale of the Creation of a Comedy Legend
by J. F. RobertsBritish history as we know it is a cluttered patchwork of questionable stories which have been re-written, re-evaluated and ridiculed, and yet there is still an unquestioned narrative thread which runs through the nation's historical record, accepted as fact. But final editorial control has always belonged to the winners. And nobody likes winners... The True History of the Black Adder is the very first in-depth examination of the creation of a British institution like no other – arguably the greatest sitcom of all time – not to mention the first historical investigation into the lives of the Blackadder family, one of the nation's most villified dynasties.Using existing archive footage and rare literature, plus new revelations from personal interviews with the makers including John Lloyd, Tony Robinson, Richard Curtis, Ben Elton, Stephen Fry, Brian Blessed; Rowan Atkinson and many more, J. F. Roberts relates the full scope of the tale of how the 70s alumni of three great universities – Oxford, Cambridge and not Hull, but Manchester – discovered a unique chemistry that would see them build a timeless comic masterpiece.At last Blackadder enthusiasts can now uncover THE cunning plan, in all its hideous hilarity.
Tumford's Rude Noises: A funny cat caper about learning to be polite!
by Nancy TillmanJoin Tumford the cat as he learns an important lesson about manners and learning to be polite, with a beautiful reminder that children are always loved.Tumford isn't really a terrible cat, it's just that he likes to make loud noises. However, his parents aren't very happy with him – they have friends coming over and they think Tumford is rude.Nancy Tillman, author of On the Night You Were Born, reaffirms for children that they will always be loved. Tumford's Rude Noises is a funny and heartwarming story helping to teach children about manners.Enjoy more heartwarming stories from Nancy Tillman: Tumford the Terrible, Wherever You Are My Love Will Find You and It's Time to Sleep, My Love.
The Ugly Duchess: Number 4 in series (Happy Ever After #4)
by Eloisa James'Nothing gets me to a bookstore faster than Eloisa James' - Julia QuinnHow can she dare to imagine he loves her... when all London calls her The Ugly Duchess?Theodora Saxby is the last woman anyone expects the gorgeous James Ryburn, heir to the Duchy of Ashbrook, to marry. But after a romantic proposal before the prince himself, even practical Theo finds herself convinced of her soon-to-be duke's passion. Still, the tabloids give the marriage six months. Theo would have given it a lifetime . . . until she discovers that James desires not her heart, and certainly not her countenance, but her dowry.Society was shocked by their wedding, but it's scandalized by their separation. James heads to sea where he becomes a notorious pirate, and Theo builds their estate into a flourishing concern. Back from the seas, a scandalous tattoo of a poppy under one eye, James now faces the battle of his lifetime: convincing Theo that he loved the duckling who blossomed into the swan. Theo will quickly find that for a man with the soul of a pirate, all's fair in love - or war.'Eloisa James is extraordinary' - Lisa Kleypas'Romance writing does not get much better than this' - People
The Unbearable Lightness of Being a Prawn Cracker: A Selection of Real Meals (Penguin Specials)
by Will SelfThe Unbearable Lightness of Being a Prawn Cracker - hilarious restaurant reviews by Booker nominee Will Self'Most food writing and restaurant criticism is concerned with the ideal, with how by cooking this, or dining there, you can somehow ingurgitate a new - or at any rate improved - social, aesthetic and even spiritual persona. I aimed to turn this proposition on its head, and instead of commenting on where and what people would ideally like to eat I would consider where and what they actually did: the ready meals, buffet snacks and - most importantly - fast food that millions of Britons chomp upon in the go-round of their often hurried and dyspeptic lives.'In this selection from his wickedly funny New Statesman Real Meals column, Will Self reviews the chains where most of us go to eat (KFC, Greggs, Yo! Sushi, Pizza Express and their like), delves into the ubiquitous Thai meal and Chicken Tikka Masala, and experiences hotel breakfasts, frozen TV dinners and airline food on our behalf. These are restaurant reviews of the kind you've never read before.Will Self is the author of nine novels including Cock and Bull; My Idea of Fun; Great Apes; How the Dead Live; Dorian, an Imitation; The Book of Dave; The Butt; Walking to Hollywood and Umbrella, which was shortlisted for the Man Booker Prize. He has written five collections of shorter fiction and three novellas: The Quantity Theory of Insanity; Grey Area; License to Hug; The Sweet Smell of Psychosis; Design Faults in the Volvo 760 Turbo; Tough, Tough Toys for Tough, Tough Boys; Dr. Mukti and Other Tales of Woe and Liver: A Fictional Organ with a Surface Anatomy of Four Lobes. Self has also compiled a number of nonfiction works, including The Undivided Self: Selected Stories; Junk Mail; Perfidious Man; Sore Sites; Feeding Frenzy; Psychogeography; Psycho Too and The Unbearable Lightness of Being a Prawn Cracker.
Undead Ed: Undead Ed and the Devil's Fingers
by David GrimstoneForget everything you've ever seen or heard about werewolves, zombies and vampires because Ed Bagley's going to tell you the single most important fact you'll ever learn: BEING UNDEAD SUCKS ... especially if you're a kid.Despite Ed's death, he's finding it really hard to actually ... pass on. Mainly because he's been cursed by an evil clown who made a sick pact with the devil, a pact that has lumbered him with four of Satan's fingers. And now he's killed Evil Clive - the head of Mortlake's dead community, and none of his undead friends can ever forgive him. Ed has no choice but to return these fingers to the devil himself. Then maybe he can get on with the rest of his death in peace ...
Unexpected Item in the Bagging Area: Driven Crazy by the Modern World?
by Chris Martin'If you point my smart phone at the sky, its star-gazing app can supposedly identify and name planets outside of our galaxy. Extraordinary - but even more extraordinary is that it can't actually make telephone calls. Trying to get a signal on it is like searching for the Yeti - some people believe it exists but you would probably have to trek to the Himalayas to find it.'Unexpected Item in the Bagging Area is a hilarious call-to-arms for everyone infuriated by 21st Century technology. Gadgets that are supposed to make life easier have just made it more complicated and annoying. If you have found yourself shouting at a recorded voice on the phone, been driven crazy by the illogical pricing of train tickets or found yourself drowning in a sea of half-remembered passwords, then this is the book for you.
The Unfortunates
by null J K Chukwu'A gripping call to action—and a daring triumph of a novel' ADORAH NWORAH 'Masterfully portrays the splintering of the mind in its most striking, unfiltered form' AIWANOSE ODAFEN 'A playful, powerful debut' ZAKIYA DALILA HARRIS A RAZOR-SHARP NOVEL FROM AN UTTERLY UNIQUE NEW VOICE. A lot is happening to Me. Will Me survive? Sahara is a student at one of the most elite universities in America – and she is Not Okay. Her grades are subpar, she’s not Nigerian enough for her family, and her long-term Life Partner* is threatening to take over. When she’s not contemplating killing herself or the wealthy white students around her, she’s receiving an increasing number of ‘Unfortunate News’ emails, which inform her that the few Black classmates she has are disappearing. Will Sahara end up joining the ranks of ‘The Unfortunates’, or can she avoid becoming yet another statistic? Written in the style of a thesis, J K Chukwu’s highly original debut is a darkly funny and biting take on the campus novel, set in the mind of a young Black woman who is losing hers. *depression
An Unsocial Socialist: Large Print
by George Bernard ShawSidney Trefusis is a proselytizing socialist. Armed with irony and paradox, he is determined to overthrow a society riddled with class and sexual exploitation. Henrietta, his adoring wife, 'loves' him: he must abandon her. Son of a millionaire, he gives up everything to pose as an 'umble peasant'. But when this unsocial socialist goes to work as a gardener in the vicinity of a girls' school he meets his match - for Agatha Wylie is a new kind of woman, perfectly armed: and she doesn't love him. With the character of his clown-prophet Trefusis, George Bernard Shaw presented for the first time his view of what the relationship between the sexes should be. Galloping, exuberant, and irresistibly entertaining, AN UNSOCIAL SOCIALIST is a brilliant satire on social prejudice from a great author of the past.
Unsuitable Men: An uplifting romantic comedy from a top ten author
by Pippa WrightUnsuitable Men is a hilarious romantic comedy from Pippa Wright, author of Lizzy Harrison Loses Control and The Foster Husband.After eleven years of coupled-up domesticity, Rory Carmichael is single for the first time in her adult life. Even she would admit that her ex-boyfriend Martin wasn’t the most exciting man in the world – let’s face it, his idea of a rocking night was one spent updating his Excel spreadsheets – but Rory could rely on him and, having watched her mother rack up four turbulent marriages, that’s what matters. But when she discovers that her supposedly reliable Mr Right is a distinctly unreliable cheater, she’s forced to consider the possibility that everything she knows about relationships is wrong. In an effort to reinvigorate both her love life and her lacklustre career at posh magazine Country House, she sets herself a mission to date as many unsuitable men as possible. Toyboys. Sugar daddies. Fauxmosexuals. Maybe the bad boys she’s never dated can show her what she’s been missing in life. But if Mr Right can turn out to be so wrong, maybe one of her Mr Wrongs will turn out to be just right . . .
The Vacant Casualty: A Parody
by Patty O'FurnitureThe Vacant Casualty is not prepared, authorized, licensed, approved, or endorsed by the author or the publishers of The Casual Vacancy. Nothing ever seems to happen in the sleepy English town of Mumford – unless you count the man with the axe in his back, staggering down the street getting blood everywhere and leaving a vacancy on the Parish Council . . . Into the fray steps Detective Inspector Bradley of the C.I.D. Although he appears to be a plodding buffoon, incapable of detecting his own backside, that is exactly what he is. But when he teams up with an alcoholic, drug-addled writer researching a detective novel, together they will blunder towards the identity of the ‘vacant casualty’. They just hope to get there before everyone in the town is murdered. In this potty-mouthed, depraved, disrespectful parody, strewn with casual violence and sexual deviancy, you will discover aliens, farting tea-ladies, car chases, serial killers and lashings and lashings of tortoise milk. But no immigrants. This is the countryside, after all.