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The Secret Life of Evie Hamilton: Abridged Us Edition
by Catherine AlliottFrom the bestselling author of One Day in May and A Crowded Marriage comes a heart-warming look at what happens when your whole world is turned upside-down.Evie Hamilton has a secret . . . one she doesn't even know about. Yet . . .Evie's an Oxfordshire wife and mum whose biggest worry in life is whether or not she can fit in a manicure on her way to fetch her daughter from clarinet lessons. But she's blissfully unaware that her charmed and happy life is about to be turned upside-down. For one sunny morning a letter lands on Evie's immaculate doormat. It's a bombshell, knocking her carefully arranged and managed world completely askew and it threatens to sabotage all she holds dear. What will be left and what will change forever? Is Evie strong enough to fight for what she loves? Can her entire world really be as fragile as her best china?Praise for Catherine Alliott:'Classy, wonderfully gossipy and breathless' Red'We defy you not to get caught up in Alliott's life-changing tale' Heat'Alliott at her best' Daily Telegraph
My Brother's Hot Cross Bottom
by Jeremy StrongNicholas and his family are hatching eggs for his school's Easter Fair. But the eggs keep going missing and their new rabbits, Saucepan and Nibblewibble, are causing havoc in the garden. Perhaps Cilla, their nosy new neighbour, is even more trouble than she seems?
There's A Pharaoh In Our Bath!
by Jeremy StrongTony Lightspeed is always bringing home sick and injured animals, so when he turns up with an unconscious man dressed from head to tie in rather stinky bandages, his family aren't too surprised. But then they discover that the man is an ancient Egyptian pharaoh named Sennapod, who has been dead for over 4,000 years. Brought back to life by two dastardly grave robbers, Sennapod is on the run. Can he persuade the Lightspeeds to help him?
There's a Viking in My Bed and Other Stories
by Jeremy Strong John LeversAfter falling overboard from his longboat, Sigurd the Viking finds himself in modern-day Flotby - a small English seaside town. Finding refuge in the aptly named Viking Hotel, Siggy's attempts to embrace modern ways end in disaster. His attempt at romance is no better off as even the course of true love doesn't run smoothly when Siggy's involved!
Port Out, Starboard Home: The Fascinating Stories We Tell About the words We Use
by Michael QuinionCan it really be true that 'golf' stands for 'Gentlemen Only Ladies Forbidden'? Or that 'rule of thumb' comes from an archaic legal principle that a man may chastise his wife, but only with a rod no thicker than his thumb?These and hundreds of other stories are commonly told and retold whenever people meet. They grow up in part because expressions are often genuinely mysterious. Why, for example, are satisfying meals 'square' rather than any other shape? And how did anyone ever come up with the idea that if you're competent at something you can 'cut the mustard'?Michael Quinion here retells many of the more bizarre tales, and explains their real origins where they're known. This is a fascinating treasure-trove of fiction and fact for anyone interested in language.
Martin Lukes: Who Moved My BlackBerry?
by Lucy KellawayHi!Let me introduce myself. I'm Martin Lukes, Special Projects Director at a-b global (UK).In your hands is a highly unique book, which pushes the envelope literature-wise. As you will see, it is a 120 per cent honest account of a year of my life - a phenomenal year of personal progress, corporate scandal and marital drama. It not only chronicles my promotion to one of the foremost executive positions globally, but is also a profound journey of personal learning, aided and abetted by my coach, Pandora. I am often asked why I want to share my deeply private philosophies with such a wide audience. I always say it is because I am passionate about learning. I have grown from my own mistakes, both in the professional space and the personal one, and I believe that there are many key takeaways for you here too.Who Moved My BlackBerry (TM)? is a creovative(TM) work - to use a phrase of mine that has now entered the business lingo. I anticipate it will be the must-read of 2005.All my very bestestMartin.
Pop Goes the Weasel: The Secret Meanings of Nursery Rhymes
by Albert JackMr Jack has been nimble and he’s been quick, searching through the history of nursery rhymes and he’s found out all kind of plum tales, just like little Jack Horner. He's unearthed the answers to some very curious questions...Who were Mary Quite Contrary and Georgie Porgie? How could Hey Diddle Diddle offer an essential astronomy lesson? And if Ring a Ring a Roses isn’t about catching the plague, then, what is it really about? The ingenious book delves into the hidden meanings of the nursery rhymes and songs we all know so well and discovers all kinds of strange tales ranging from Viking raids to firewalking and from political rebellion to slaves being smuggled to freedom. Children have always played at being grown up and all kinds of episodes in our history are still being re-enacted today in a series of dark games (Oranges and Lemons traces a condemned man’s journey across London to his execution, Goosie Gander is about dragging a hidden Catholic priest to prison) And there are many many more… Full of vivid illustrations and with each verse reproduced, here are a multitude of surprising stories you won’t be able to resist passing on to everyone you know. Your childhood songs and rhymes will never sound the same again.
The Mummy Diaries: Or How to Lose Your Husband, Children and Dog in Twelve Months
by Rachel JohnsonRachel Johnson's hilarious take on life as a yummy mummy in West London and on Exmoor has been making her newspaper readers chortle for the last couple of years: now they are seamlessly turned into a diary of her year, from the dog's birthday party in January (games of Paws-the-Parcel) to the June sports days (where the mummies turn up at the school sports day in sports bras and running shorts with little back packs containing high energy drinks - and that's just for them) to summer on Exmoor hosting demanding visiting ponies.
The Other Side of the Story: British Book Awards Author of the Year 2022
by Marian KeyesThe lives of three women collide when a highflying literary agent finds herself representing two women who were once best friends . . . 'There are three sides to every story. Your side, their side, and the truth . . .'Sharkish literary agent Jojo has just made a very bad career move - she's slept with her married boss Mark . . . Lily - Jojo's bestselling author - has just blown her advance on a house with new boyfriend Anton, only to come down with writer's block . . . Gemma used to be Lily's best friend until Lily ran off with Anton. Now she's pouring her heart out and a certain literary agent likes her style . . . Soon the fortunes of Jojo, Lily and Gemma are horribly entangled. But each is about to discover that there's more than one side to every story . . . 'It had me in tears . . . and, barking with laughter' Daily Telegraph'A wonderful, subtle, hilarious and highly sophisticated novel. You can't stop reading' Evening Standard'Packed with sound writing, wit and common sense' Guardian
This Charming Man: A Novel
by Marian KeyesFour very different women, one awfully charming man and a dark secret that binds them all . . . Marian Keyes' This Charming Man follows women who have been caught in a web of modern love. 'Everybody remembers where they were the day they heard that Paddy de Courcy was getting married'Slick, handsome politician Paddy de Courcy is on the up. His party is set to do well in the elections and he's just announced his engagement to the beautiful Alicia. Which is news to his girlfriend, Lola, who, within hours, finds herself dumped and warned not to talk to the press.Yet journalist Grace is on the prowl. She has been after Paddy ever since he ruined her sister Marnie's life way back in college. Grace is looking for the inside story and thinks Lola holds the key.But do any of them know the real Paddy? 'So funny, so perceptive, so real. I changed my life for this book' Mail on Sunday'The laughs come fast and furious . . . a gripping, compelling tale' Sunday Independent'The queen of page-turners . . . brimming with her trademark down-to-earth wit' Cosmopolitan'Gripping from the start . . . the master at her best' Daily Telegraph
Rachel's Holiday: A Hay Festival and The Poole VOTE 100 BOOKS for Women Selection
by Marian KeyesDeliciously dark and fantastically funny, Rachel's Holiday is the story of a young woman living life rather too well until the day she takes it too far endangering everything she cares about . . . 'They said I was a drug addict. But my occasional drug use was strictly recreational. And, hey, surely drug addicts are skinny?'Rachel is living it up in New York City, spending her nights talking her way into glamorous parties before heading home in the early hours to her hot boyfriend Luke.Then her sensible older sister shows up and even though it seems like a bad joke, she finds herself in actual rehab.It's there that she's supposed to kick her non-existent drug habit - and to get over losing Luke. Luke's a fox; he's also strong and kind, but he has had more than he can take of Rachel. None of this was part of her plan and saying goodbye to fun will be hard.But not as hard as losing the man that, too late, she believes might be the love of her life . . .'Gloriously funny' Sunday Times'A born storyteller' Independent on Sunday'The voice of a generation' Daily Mirror
Last Chance Saloon: A Novel
by Marian KeyesIn Marian Keyes' BESTSELLING Last Chance Saloon, three great friends discover that despite their best-laid plans, life can unravel in the most unexpected ways.'Love is blind, there was no doubt about it. In Tara's case it was also deaf, dumb, dyslexic, had a bad hip and the beginnings of Alzheimer's . . .'Tara, Katherine and Fintan have been best friends since they were teenagers. Now in their early thirties, they've been living it up in London for ten years. But what have they to show for a decade of hedonism?Sure, Tara's got a boyfriend - but only because she's terrified of spending five minutes alone. Katherine, on the other hand, has a neatness fetish that won't let anyone too close to mess up her life. And Fintan? Well, he has everything. Until he learns that without your health, you've got nothing . . .All three are drinking in the last chance saloon and they're about to discover that if you don't change your life, life has a way of changing you . . .'An outstanding writer and chronicler of our times' Independent on Sunday'Her writing is of the highest order. Someone should give this woman a Booker' Sunday Tribune
Sushi for Beginners: A Novel
by Marian KeyesMarian Keyes' Sushi for Beginners is the blissfully funny, smart tale of three women who discover that the line between success and failure, happiness and sadness, sanity and madness is finer than they ever thought . . . 'Dammit,' she realized. 'I think I'm having a nervous breakdown.' Hot-shot magazine editor Lisa Edwards' career is destined for high-rise New York, when suddenly she's blown off-course into the delights of low-rise Dublin. But what on earth can she do about it? Ashling Kennedy, Lisa's super-organized assistant, is good at worrying. Too good. She's even terrified of a little bit of raw fish . . . Clodagh Kelly is Ashling's best friend and has done everything right: beautiful kids and a husband come prince - everything in fact that Ashling has ever wanted. She should be - yet, she's not - happy. Three women on the verge of happiness and even closer to a complete breakdown. Which way will they fall? 'Keyes has given romantic comedy a much-needed face-lift. Chatty and warmhearted, Keyes's talent is to tell it how it is' Independent 'Laden with plots twists, jokey asides and nicely turned bits of zeitgeisty observational humour ... her energetic, well-constructed prose delivers life and people in satisfyingly various shades of grey' Guardian 'The voice of a generation' Daily Mirror
Decline and Fall (Penguin Modern Classics)
by Evelyn WaughSent down from Oxford for indecent behaviour, Paul Pennyfeather is oddly unsurprised to find himself qualifying for the position of schoolmaster at Llanabba Castle. Hi colleagues are an assortment of misfits, rascals and fools, including Prendy (plagued by doubts) and Captain Grimes, who is always in the soup (or just plain drunk). Then Sports Day arrives, and with it the delectable Margot Beste-Chetwynde, floating on a scented breeze. As the farce unfolds and the young run riot, no one is safe, least of all Paul.
Idoru (Bridge #2)
by William GibsonA GRIPPING TECHNO-THRILLER BY THE BESTSELLING AUTHOR OF NEUROMANCER AND THE SECOND NOVEL IN THE BRIDGE TRILOGY. 'Fast, witty and cleverly politicized' Guardian Tokyo, post-event: After an attack of scruples, Colin Laney's skipped out on his former employer Slitscan - avoiding the rash of media lawyers sent his way - and taken a job for the outfit managing Japanese rock duo, Lo/Rez. Rez has announced he's going to marry an 'idoru' by the name of Rei Toi - she exists only in virtual reality - and this creates complications that Laney, a net runner, is supposed to sort out. But when Chai, part of Lo/Rez's fan club, turns up unaware that she's carrying illegal nanoware for the Russian Kombinat, Laney's scruples nudge him towards trouble all over again. And this time lawyers'll be the least of his worries . . . William Gibson is a prophet and a satirist, a black comedian and an outstanding architect of cool. Readers of Neal Stephenson, Ray Bradbury and Iain M. Banks will love this book. *** 'Sharp, fast, bright . . . a must' Arena 'A classic technothriller . . . lean, evocative, tense' Wired 'Luxuriate in prose simultaneously as hard and laconic as Elmore Leonard's and as glacially poetic as JG. Ballard's . . . an exhilarating ride' New Statesman READ VIRTUAL LIGHT AND ALL TOMORROW'S PARTIES FOR MORE.
Krankenstein's Crazy House of Horror
by Jeremy StrongCharlie and his great mate Ben have landed in a spooky House of Horror - all because of Charlie's new pyjamas! The mean old Stitcher and her stinky sidekick Grumpfart are planning to take revenge on the entire world . . . Can Charlie and Ben survive the scary house or will they be struck by Stitcher's MONSTERPIECE?!
Penguin Pocket Jokes
by David PickeringHave you heard the one about the man who walked into a bar? (Ouch!)... Penguin Pocket Jokes is essential (and hilarious) reading for anyone searching for the perfect joke. Whether you want a snappy wisecrack or a longer rib-tickler when making a speech, this easy-to-use guide will provide the perfect witticism.
Jeremy Strong's Laugh-Your-Socks-Off Joke Book
by Amanda Li Jeremy StrongIs it time to pause for breath? No because there’s also Streaker the dog, indoor pirates, trolls and superheroes AND karate kicking and time-travelling AND mad grannies and so much more.Featuring a brand new short-story by Jeremy, the Laugh-Your-Socks-Off Joke Book is jam-packed with jokes, quizzes,puzzles and games, plus extracts from all your favourite stories.Warning! No Knock-knock’s were used in the making of this book.
The Girl Next Door: A Novel
by Elizabeth NobleAn outstanding tear-jerker that will break your heart - from the Number One bestselling author of The Reading Group and Things I Want My Daughters to KnowWhat makes a house a home?For Eve Gallagher, home is miles away in England since she and her husband relocated to an apartment building on New York's Upper East Side. And life isn't remotely coming up roses.What makes a neighbour a friend?Violet has lived in the building for decades but she's always kept herself apart, until Eve's loneliness touches her heart and friendship blossoms.What makes a wife a lover?Jason Kramer in Apartment 6A is no longer sure he loves his wife, but he's head-over-heels for Rachael Schulman in 6B.What makes the girl next door the woman of your dreams?Meeting Emily Mikanowski from 3A turns Trip Grayling's world upside down. It's love at first sight, but he needs help from Charlotte, the shy romance addict in 2A, if he's going to win the girl.Dreams come true, hearts are broken and no one is left unchanged when the secrets and desires hidden behind closed doors are finally brought into the light.'A wonderfully well-written book, full of emotion' Daily Mail'We loved it . . . we were totally hooked wondering what twists were coming next' Heat'This emotional read it full of fascinating characters you'll miss once the final page is turned' Bella**Elizabeth Noble's gloriously uplifting new novel, Letters to Iris, is out now!**
The Public Confessions of a Middle-Aged Woman
by Sue TownsendThe Public Confessions of a Middle-Aged Woman (Aged 55¾) is a wonderful collection of non-fiction pieces, giving us an insight into Sue's hilarious worldSue Townsend is the much-loved comic author who brought us the bestselling Adrian Mole seriesEnter the world of Susan Lilian Townsend - sun-worshippers, work-shy writers, garden centre lovers and those in search of a good time are all welcome ...This sparkling collection of Sue Townsend's hilarious non-fiction covers everything from hosepipe bans to Spanish restaurants, from writer's block to slug warfare, from slob holidays to the banning of beige.These funny, perceptive and touching pieces reveal Sue, ourselves and the nation in an extraordinary new light. Sit back and chortle away as one of Britain's most popular and acclaimed writers takes a feather to your funny bone.The Public Confessions of a Middle-Aged Woman (Aged 55¾) is Sue Townsend's brilliantly witty collection on non-fiction pieces.'Anyone who loved The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole will enjoy this collection of witty and sharply observed jottings from the inimitable Sue Townsend. Great stuff' OK! 'Full of homely, hilarious asides on the absurdities of domestic existence ... What a fantastic advertisement for middle-age - it can't be bad if it's this funny' Heat 'A welcome addition to any bookshelf' Hello! 'It's as if Townsend has caught our idiosyncrasies on candid camera and is showing a rerun of all the silly clips ... the ideal dip-in-and-out book' Time OutSue Townsend is Britain's favourite comic author. Her hugely successful novels include eight Adrian Mole books, The Public Confessions of a Middle-Aged Woman (Aged 55¾), Number Ten, Ghost Children, The Queen and I, Queen Camilla and The Woman Who Went to Bed for a Year, all of which are highly acclaimed bestsellers. She has also written numerous well-received plays. She lives in Leicester, where she was born and grew up.
Lost! The Hundred-Mile-An-Hour Dog: The Hundred-mile An-hour Dog
by Jeremy StrongStreaker the dog is lost. And not just a bit lost, but REALLY LOST!It wasn't even her fault.! She wanted to protect some pies from the PIE ROBBER and suddenly she's miles from home and two-legged Trevor and she has to make friends with a cat. A CAT! But it gets a lot hairier when they find themselves face-to-face with a baboon . . .For the first time ever, Streaker tells her incredible adventures in her own words – and very funny words they are too.Rowan Clifford's illustrations add to the chaotic fun.
My Brother's Famous Bottom Goes Camping
by Jeremy StrongNicholas's dad has had an idea – always a cue for disaster! This time he's planning to take the whole family camping. Sounds great, but Tomato is taking her pet carrot (don't ask) and Cheese is smuggling his pet hen into the camping van, while Granny and Lancelot are planning on bringing the goat . . .How much chaos can one family cause! The sixth story in this very popular series is every bit as silly and delightful as all the rest, while Rowan Clifford's black-and-white illustrations add to the fun.
The Whopping Great Big Bonkers Joke Book
by Puffin BooksWhat is the definition of a snail?A slug with a crash helmet.What sound do hedgehogs make when they kiss?‘Ouch!’This is Puffin's biggest and best joke book ever created, possibly in the world! Packed with so many crazy jokes, including knock knocks, animal quackers and monster madness, you'll have a joke on hand for every occasion! Suitable for amusing your mates or reading on your own.
Are You Experienced?
by William SutcliffeA devastatingly funny satire on the whole idea of student travel,and particularly the India back-pack trail. Dave travels to India with Liz because he thinks he might be able to get her into bed. Liz travels to India with Dave because she wants a companion for her voyage of spiritual discovery. She loves it. He dreams of frosty mornings, pints of lager and restaurants where vegetable curry is only a side-dish...
Pardon My French: Unleash Your Inner Gaul
by Charles TimoneyTHINGS YOU DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT FRANCE: You burnt Joan of Arc! ? Smuggling live chickens into rugby matches is patriotic ? How many times to kiss on the cheek ? Where not to cross the road ? French guns don't go 'bang' ? What do you call a party? ? bon appetit is vulgar ? A six-pack is a bar of chocolate ? The dangers of being called Peter or Penny ? Your smallest finger is your 'ear' finger ? The importance of Wednesdays ? How to tip ? and when to celebrate Christmas? Forget the French you learnt at school. Based on twenty years of hard-won knowledge, Pardon My French takes you through all the words you need to survive, shows how and why they work, and steers you past all the pitfalls and potential embarrassments of speaking French in France. From sugar-cube etiquette to why the Marseillaise is all about slaughtering Austrians and Prussians as bloodily as possible, Charles Timoney lays bare the Gallic mindset alongside their bizarre language. Covering all areas of everyday life from eating and drinking to travel, work and, crucially, swearing and sounding like a teenager, this is not just the most entertaining, but also the most useful book on France and the French you'll ever read.