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Horrid Henry: Perfect Revenge (PDF)
by Francesca Simon Tony RossNumber One for Fiendish Fun! This book contains the ULTIMATE revenge, a computer hack, a DISASTROUS office visit and a demon dinner lady! Four utterly hilarious and totally brilliant Horrid Henry stories by Francesca Simon, with illustrations by Tony Ross. An irresistible introduction to reading for pleasure.
Agnes Grey (Macmillan Collector's Library #197)
by Anne BrontëDrawing on her own experience, Anne Brontë exposes the isolated world of a nineteenth-century governess in her debut novel, Agnes Grey. Part of the Macmillan Collector’s Library; a series of stunning, clothbound, pocket sized classics with gold foiled edges and ribbon markers. These beautiful books make perfect gifts or a treat for any book lover. This edition is introduced by historian and biographer, Juliet Barker.Agnes Grey is the youngest daughter of a clergyman. When the family falls on hard times, she insists on finding work as a governess in order to help her family and prove to them that she’s no longer a child. But her idealistic spirit is tested in her first position with the Bloomfield family and their unruly and spoilt children. Next she works for the even wealthier Murray family, whose scheming daughter Rosalie threatens to jeopardize the only bright spot in Agnes’s life: the young curate Edward Weston.
The Age of Innocence: The Wild And Wanton Edition, Volume 1 (Macmillan Collector's Library #194)
by Edith WhartonEdith Wharton’s Pulitzer Prize-winning novel, The Age of Innocence, is both a poignant story of frustrated love and an extraordinarily vivid, delightfully satirical record of a vanished world. This edition features an introduction by award-winning novelist, Rachel Cusk.As the scion of one of New York’s leading families, Newland Archer has been born into a life of sumptuous privilege and strict duty. A sensitive, intelligent young man, he still respects the rigid social code by which his class lives. As he contemplates his forthcoming marriage to the striking and equally well-born May Welland, he gives thanks that she is ‘one of his own kind’. But the arrival of the Countess Olenska, a free spirit who breathes clouds of European sophistication, makes him question the path on which his upbringing has set him. As his fascination with her grows, he discovers just how hard it is to escape the bonds of the society that has shaped him.
The Funny Life of Teachers
by James CampbellUncover the ridiculously funny life of teachers (and some things that have nothing to do with teachers but are still splendidly funny) according to James Campbell, comedian extraordinaire. Ever wondered what teachers do when they're not in the classroom? Are they undercover detectives, champion roller-blade dancers or do they spend their evenings playing with their 576 cats?This face-achingly funny book will also teach you why you should carry an emergency banana with you at all times, how to fart in class silently without anyone knowing it was you and how to catapult yourself to school by building a medieval style catapult in your back garden! Whether you love or loathe your teachers, want to become one when you grow up or don't give two figs about your teacher but simply love a HILARIOUS read, this book is for you. Prepare to roll around the floor laughing with the snot-inducingly brilliant The Funny Life of Teachers.But be warned – this is NOT a normal book. You can read it forwards, backwards, sideways and in approximately 861,000 different ways in between. Whichever way you read it, look no further for fantastic real-life teacher facts, incredibly funny illustrations, imaginary stories and an impossibly silly read!
The Funny Life of Pets
by James CampbellUncover the sidesplitting life of cucumber scaredy-cats, non-stop pooping hamsters, exploding fish and everything in-between (and some things that have nothing to do with pets but are still ridiculously funny). This hilarious book answers all the big questions, like: do sausage dogs eat sausages? Why has my cat done a poo behind my wardrobe? And how can I persuade my parents to get me a pet? For real-life pet facts, imaginary stories, and a generally laugh-so-hard-snot-comes-out-your-nose read, this is the only pet book you'll ever need!Written by the outstanding children's comedian James Campbell, prepare yourself for The Funny Life of Pets! But be WARNED – this IS NOT a normal book…You read a normal book by starting on page one and reading to the end (BORING). You can read this book forwards, backwards, sideways, and in approximately 861,000 different ways in-between.This is a book with outrageous facts, hilarious jokes, insanely funny online videos and brilliant stories all about pets, the author, and all sorts of other things.WARNING: Anything you think you might have learned from this book might not be very accurate so should not be used in a school project or as part of homework. Unless of course, you are made of stardust and are as brave as sunshine.
Fat Lawrence
by Dick King-SmithA very funny animal story from the award-winning writer Dick King-SmithLaurence Higgins, an enormously fat black cat, has breakfast with Mrs Higgins, lunch with the Normans, tea with old Mr Mason and supper with the Barclay-Lloyds. None of them know why he is so fat on just one meal a day! Lawrence is happy until he finds the walking from house to house tiring and begins to get indigestion. His friends tell him to lose weight if he wants a girl friend so he begins to spend one day in four with all his owners. He gets thinner but the cat he fancies down the road tells him she doesn't like slim boys - she's lost her heart to an enormously fat black cat she used to see up the road! Triumphantly Lawrence returns to his four meals a day, spurred on by the thought of meeting Bella when he's back to his normal size.
Acts of Infidelity: A Novel
by Lena Andersson'A novel of heartbreak told with intellectual rigor. It gripped me from first page to last. Fantastic!'Alice SeboldWhen Ester Nilsson meets the actor Olof Sten, she falls madly in love.Olof makes no secret of being married, but he and Ester nevertheless start to meet regularly and begin to conduct a strange dance of courtship. Olof insists he doesn't plan to leave his wife, but he doesn't object to this new situation either . . . it’s far too much fun.Ester, on the other hand, is convinced that things might change. But as their relationship continues over repeated summers of distance, and winters of heated meetings in bars, she is forced to realize the truth: Ester Nilsson has become a mistress.To read Acts of Infidelity is to dive inside the mind of a brilliant, infuriating friend - Ester's and Olof’s entanglements and arguments are the stuff of relationship nightmares. Cutting, often cruel, and written with razor-sharp humour, Acts of Infidelity is clever, painful, maddening, but most of all perfectly, precisely true.Praise for Wilful Disregard'Gripped me like an airport read . . . perfect' Lena Dunham
Disaster in His Wake: The Strange Life Of Horatio Evans (The Strange Life of Horatio Evans)
by Ray NoyesThe Making of Horatio Evans Ardent communist, defender of the proletariat, and bin man, Horatio is convinced he has a calling to transform the village of Abertump and wake it from its sleep. Self-appointed leader of men, his confidence knows no bounds, even when disaster stares him in the face. From school expulsion to army court martial, he seems destined to confront authority. His desire to go his own way leads to some DIY disasters as he sets up his own Kremlin in his tiny terraced house. Using cast-offs from the village and sand from the beach, his lean-to quickly becomes a dangerous lean-over. His problem-solving skills also leave much to be desired, as he cuts a wardrobe in half to move it upstairs, and fits a new fireplace while the old one is still alight. Follow Horatio’s exploits and spare a thought for Gladys, his permanently-on-the-verge-of-death wife.
The Abertump Uprising (The Strange Life of Horatio Evans #2)
by Ray NoyesGrowing in confidence, but fed up with a lack of progress in bringing communism to Abertump, Horatio Evans decides to declare the town an independent soviet socialist republic. He, as its leader, decides to emulate Karl Marx by creating a reading room behind Jones’ Emporium, (the ironmonger), in which to find inspiration. However, he finds he’s the only one who’s looking for inspiration. The rest of the town seem quite content, thank you. How will he stir up the populace and persuade them to revolt? Horatio enlists the aid of the communist parties of London, Moscow, and East Berlin in his push for revolution. He hides his full intentions from Abertump Town Council under the guise of twinning it with Berlin. A group of six men set off for the German capital in an ancient Austin A35 van to make contact with real communists, but fail to get very far. How Horatio extricates himself from the failed uprising is a stroke of sheer genius.
The Pocket Guide to Abertump (The Strange Life of Horatio Evans #5)
by Ray NoyesWelcome to the village of Abertump, nestling in the Swansea Valley. A village recovering from the loss of traditional industry, and coping in its own, eccentric manner. Walk the streets and meet the residents to find out some of the background to the series, The Strange Life of Horatio Evans. Horatio finds hapless and unwitting allies in the village as he seeks to implement a Soviet-style administration in the depths of a South Wales valley.
Mexican on a...: A Mildly Amusing Game (Creative Portfolio Series #4)
by David NorringtonWhat is a Mexican? They are everywhere, you cannot miss them when you know what they look like. I do not mean the indigenous population of the country of Mexico. No, these are entirely different, and they have taken over the world, but you didn't realise it. The fact that they look a bit like the top of a sombrero is entirely coincidental with the idea that people from Mexico wear that type of hat a lot. Entirely. Coincidental. This book will provide you with some ideas for drawing your own Mexicans, or you can colour them in, or add your own descriptions to the ones that are shown, or leave the book on the bus, it's entirely up to you.
The Strange Life of Horatio Evans: (Boxset Books 1-4) (The Strange Life of Horatio Evans #6)
by Ray NoyesBoxset of books 1-4 of The Strange Life of Horatio Evans. Follow Horatio’s exploits in Abertump and spare a thought for Gladys, his permanently-on-the-verge-of-death wife.
Venice in the Valleys (The Strange Life of Horatio Evans #4)
by Ray NoyesThe Fogle family, the rich landowners of Abertump has a strange son, Marmaduke Wellington Fogle, who has returned penniless from his grand tour of Europe. He spent most of his time and their money tobogganing in Austria and lazing around Venice, where he fell in love with gondolas. Horatio had already tried using the canal for boating, but failed. So here is another chance for him to try again, this time using Fogle money. That Marmaduke insists on having gondolas, which Horatio has never heard of (he also thinks Venice is near Wrexham), causes him genuine problems. Where will he get them? Since he always refuses help, he decides to make them - rather special, and very Welsh, ones. Luckily for Horatio, Marmaduke, like his father, always adopts the philosophy of never actually doing anything but ‘leaving it up to the chaps’ to sort out. This provides space and time for Horatio to manage the construction of the gondolas himself with disastrous and rather comic results. Venice is not in imminent danger of facing stiff competition from Abertump!
The Village Theme Park (The Strange Life of Horatio Evans #3)
by Ray NoyesNow in his middle years, Horatio Evans has been knocked back by the failure of his communist uprising. The atmosphere in the town is also depressed, because several of the mines are to close. He sees this not as a crisis, but as another opportunity for a revolution - of sorts. If the mines are closing why doesn’t the town buy them (for a song) and create visitors’ attractions? Horatio’s idea of setting up the theme park is beset by a major problem - he has no cash. Persuading the once-rich Fogle family, which owns one of the mines (and most of Abertump) to collaborate with him, sees a clash between his communist, working class values and their upper-class privileged ones. Then Gladys comes to the rescue with a plan, not only for getting some cash but also for earning some themselves from the theme park. But how could a communist become a capitalist? Such a fundamental clash of belief is just another challenge for our loveable hero.
Molla Nasreddin: Polemics, Caricatures & Satires
by Slavs And TatarsPublished between 1906 and 1930, Molla Nasreddin was a satirical Azeri periodical edited by Jalil Mammadguluzadeh and named after the legendary Sufi wise man-cum-fool of the Middle Ages (who reputedly lived in the thirteenth century in the Ottoman Empire). With an acerbic sense of humour and realist illustrations, Molla Nasreddin attacked the hypocrisy of the Muslim clergy, the colonial policies of European nations, and later the United States, towards the rest of the world and the corruption of local elites, while at the same time arguing for Westernisation, educational reform and equal rights for women. The publication was an instant success-selling half of its initial print run of 1,000 in the first day-and within months would sell 5000 copies per issue, which was record-breaking for the time. It became one of the most influential publications of its kind and was read across the Muslim world. Slavs and Tatars, a leading art collective focusing on Eurasia, has brought together this collection of sketches, caricatures and satirical writings from Molla Nasreddin, in the process revealing an unusual manifestation of nationalism in the Caucasus and its surrounding regions.
English as She Is Spoke: The Guide of the Conversation in Portuguese and English
by Mark Twain Pedro CarolinoThe Guide of the Conversation in Portuguese and English
Needlemouse: The uplifting bestseller featuring the most unlikely heroine of 2019
by Jane O'ConnorTime to come out of hibernation...Sylvia Penton has been hibernating for years, it's no wonder she's a little prickly...Sylvia lives alone, dedicating herself to her job at the local university. On weekends, she helps out at a local hedgehog sanctuary because it gives her something to talk about on Mondays - and it makes people think she's nicer than she is.Only Sylvia has a secret: she's been in love with her boss, Professor Lomax, for over a decade now, and she's sure he's just waiting for the right time to leave his wife. Meanwhile she stores every crumb of his affection and covertly makes trouble for anyone she feels gets in his way.But when a bright new PhD candidate catches the Professor’s eye, Sylvia’s dreams of the fairy tale ending she has craved for so long, are soon in tatters, driving her to increasingly desperate measures and an uncertain future. Sylvia might have been sleep walking through her life but things are about to change now she’s woken up…A quirky, charming uplifting novel perfect for fans of Gail Honeyman's Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine and Sarah Haywood's The Cactus. The feelgood bestseller about unrequited love, loneliness and the redemptive qualities of hedgehogs featuring the most unlikely heroine of 2019.________________________________WHAT READERS ARE SAYING'An eccentrically heartwarming tale of steeping out of your comfort zone. I was rooting for Sylvia' - Lottie, Netgalley'I was charmed by this tale. A feel-good book' - Heather, Netgalley'A lovely story with delightful characters. Would highly recommend, especially if you are a fan of Ruth Hogan and Gail Honeyman' - Mary, Netgalley'An absolutely superb novel about someone who is dissatisfied with her life but feels it's difficult to change. I would highly recommend to anyone who likes a quirky novel to entertain them' - Sue, Netgalley'Oh how I adored this book which is reminiscent of Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine' - Justine, Netgalley'I like a book that makes me feel uplifted, that soothes the soul, and this book certainly did that. Sylvia is definitely one of my favourite fictional characters' - Joanne, Netgalley
Horrid Henry and the Mega-Mean Time Machine: Book 13 (Horrid Henry)
by Francesca SimonFour fabulous stories in which Horrid Henry builds himself a time machine and tricks Perfect Peter; Perfect Peter strikes back; Henry dines at Restaurant Le Posh; and he is made to go on a hike.
Horrid Henry's Underpants: Book 11 (Horrid Henry #11)
by Francesca SimonFour hilarious stories, in which Horrid Henry hits on a brilliant way to write thank you letters, negotiates over vegetables, competes with Perfect Peter over which of them is sickest, and finds himself wearing the wrong underpants, with dreadful consequences.
Doctor Who: A Doctor Who Story (Doctor Who Ser.)
by David SolomonsWritten by best-selling children's author David Solomons!A sinister school where graduation means death . . .A monstrous mystery lurking below a quiet London street . . .A desperate plea for help delivered by . . . hang on. A potted plant?The Doctor has been summoned. The galaxy is in terrible danger, and only a Time Lord can save it. But to do so, she must break in to an ancient vault on a remote and frozen world - from which nobody has ever returned alive . . .Can the Doctor and her friends Yaz, Ryan and Graham uncover the shocking secret in Vault 13?A thrilling, hilarious and scary adventure for the Thirteenth Doctor, as portrayed by Jodie Whittaker.Perfect for younger readers, this will be a must-have for fans, and an ideal introduction to Doctor Who and the brilliant new series airing in autumn 2018.
Housewife in Love
by Alison Penton Harper‘You’re the bride, babe. You just go right ahead and arrange anything you bloody well want. And I mean anything. I don’t care how we get married. All I want is you.’ At long last, love is in the air, sending Helen Robbins into a flat spin while she grapples with the prospect of starting over (and whether or not she’s too old to have sex in an aeroplane). Does she really want a relationship? Moreover, does she really want a relationship with a man like Rick? While she wrestles with the million dollar question, her sister Julia blindly prepares to face the onslaught of motherhood for the first time at 43, prompting neurotic Leoni (killing her husband slowly on a high cholesterol diet) to warn her that parenthood isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. As if to prove the point, Rick’s passion-killing teenage daughter, Lola, turns up and demonstrates just how awful a kid can turn out. And as Helen’s wedding day approaches, she plans the biggest surprise of them all . . .
Danny Baker Record Breaker: The World's Awesomest Air-barf (Danny Baker Record Breaker #2)
by Steve HartleyLike many young boys, Danny dreams of making it into the record books. Eternally optimistic, he writes to Mr Bibby, Keeper of the Records, with hilarious accounts of his yucky endeavours. In this book, Danny is going on holiday! He will attempt to break the following records. Drumroll, please. . . Sickbags filled in a single flight! (DB attempt: 13) Wriggliest bath! (DB attempt: 9,183 worms) Freckliest face! (DB attempt: 1,246 freckles - before sabotage by Mum and the Factor 5,000,000 suncream)
Housewife in Trouble
by Alison Penton HarperHelen has done the one thing she swore she never would: remarry. A few weeks after the drive-thru’ ceremony, the reality of it comes over her like a python dropping out of a tree – that she would henceforth wake up every morning next to snoring rhinoceros Rick, a man with all the subtleties of a brick coming through your living room window. Under the questionable tutelage of crazy Leoni, Helen vows to reinvent herself as a guilt-free, modern Superwife, and determines to master the innocent art of womanly deception. Meanwhile, big sister Julia, 43, suffers a major crash-and-burn after the miraculous arrival of her new baby. Desperate to help her navigate a severe case of post-natal depression, Helen suddenly finds herself knee-deep in subterfuge . . . And that, possibly, is what distracts her when Helga, the Russian cleaning lady, attacks Rick with a chair . . . So there we have it. An Elvis wedding in Vegas. A panic-stricken newlywed wife. A severely concussed husband who cannot keep a secret. What could possibly go wrong? Bags open. Cats everywhere. As Elvis said, ‘If you’re looking for trouble, you’ve come to the right place' . . . Praise for Alison Penton Harper: ‘Laugh-a-minute, frothy fun’ Sunday Express
Hippo Eats Dwarf: A Field Guide To Hoaxes And Other B. S.
by Alex BoeseThe following news story apparently first appeared in the Las Vegas Sun: 'A circus dwarf, nicknamed Od, died recently when he bounced sideways from a trampoline and was swallowed by a yawning hippopotamus waiting to appear in the next act. More than 1,000 spectators continued to applaud wildly until they realized the tragic mistake.' And yet, of course, Od never existed; which doesn't stop the story appearing every few years as a news item, set in fictional circuses from Manchester to Thailand and Sydney. The hippo-eats-dwarf story is a) bizarre, b) almost certainly fake and c) masquerading as real, which describes a disturbing amount of what we hear and read about in magazines and on the web. Scientific investigator Alex Boese, who has for ten years run the web's biggest myth-busting website www.museumofhoaxes.com, has collected together a wonderfully entertaining anthology of the best urban myths of recent years, from bonsai kittens reared in jars to keep them small to male lactation, and confirms or de-bunks them once and for all. So did Burger King really release a left-handed Whopper, with all of the condiments rotated through 180 degrees? Is dehydrated water available to buy online? Or are they just hippo-eats-dwarf urban myths?
Housewife Up
by Alison Penton Harper"Heaven save us from ourselves. And if you can’t manage that, I’d settle for saving me from me. Just when I thought it was safe to go back in the water, here I am again, drowning for all to see. Not waving, as the troubled swimmer once famously said. I busied myself with any household task I could find . . ." Recently widowed but putting a brave face on it all (thanks to a not insignificant windfall) Helen’s only problem, it seems, is the imminent arrival of her fortieth birthday. Not something she can possibly avoid, ignore or sulk about – not with friends like Leoni and sisters like Julia around . . . And there is much to celebrate. A beautiful new flat, gorgeous hospitable neighbours and a delicious sense of freedom that only money can buy. Until, that is, money becomes the one big fat problem in Helen’s life and she becomes part of the unwilling army of the employed. But it is no ordinary job that Helen is qualified for, in fact she is qualified for precious little, which leads to her first ever encounter with ‘the boss from hell’ . . .