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Sex in Every City: How to Talk Dirty in Every Language
by L. BrookHave you ever wondered why things sound so much sexier when they're said in a foreign language? Ever wanted to say 'Fancy a quickie?' in Czech, or 'Gosh, it's huge!' in Korean? Then look no further than "Sex in Every City". For cunning linguists everywhere comes this indispensable guide to the universal language of love. Packed with smooth lines and raunchy phrases to see you through the dating game abroad, this stylish travel book is guaranteed to get you laid faster than you can ask 'Would you like to see my stamp collection...?'
The Sex Secrets Of Old England: A saucy compendium of our passionate past
by Nigel CawthorneOnce again, Nigel Cawthorne takes the reader on a fascinating journey through the strange, hidden sexual history of England. The history of sex in Britain has been largely glossed over by 'proper' historians: Nigel Cawthorne has burrowed deep into the archives to reveal exactly what our ancestors got up to in bed (and out of it). There are chapters on the ancient arts of seduction, adultery, brothels, 'the English vice', contraception, defloration, and many more - from the torrid Tudors to the supposedly strait-laced Victorians.
Sh*t Happens
by Deborah LazarusThe lure of the morbid. The fascination of really bad news. The strange thrill of things going spectacularly wrong. Tragic, sensational, spine-chilling, and addictively entertaining, it’s The Darwin Awards meets The Stupidest Things Ever Said. In story after story we meet the star-crossed, the extremely unlucky, and the fatally foolish. Sure—it’s grim, sometimes ghastly. But isn’t it nice to know that someone, somewhere, had a worse day than you?Sh*t happens.Sometimes it’s natural: A driver goes for the ride of his life when a 100-mph gust blows his truck off the Verrazano Narrows Bridge in New York. (He survives the steep plunge into the Hudson River.Sometimes it’s supernatural: The woman who peels an artichoke only to have it explode in her hand.Short-sighted: A rattlesnake owner kisses his beloved pet, and discovers that the affection isn’t mutual.Delightful: A tanker truck carrying liquid chocolate splits open in a traffic accident, drawing children from miles around.Unexpected: A folding bed traps and nearly kills a man.Heartbreaking: Art restorers accidentally dissolve the ink off a newly discovered Da Vinci drawing.Gross: From the brain of a man complaining of mental instability, doctors remove a four-inch worm.And grosser: A diner discovers—in the most revolting way possible—a rodent along with his fried chicken.And even, seemingly, cosmic justice: An incensed homeowner catches a mouse and decides to teach it a lesson by tying a kerosene-soaked rag to its tail and setting it on fire. The mouse flees; the man’s house burns down.
Should Have Got Off at Sydney Parade
by Ross O'Carroll-KellyRoss O'Carroll-Kelly thought he knew all he needed to about women's bodies ... So there I was, roysh, in a state of basically very blissful ignorance, when suddenly Sorcha's up the Damien and I have to listen to, like, women's stuff. And now he's getting a biology lesson he could have SO lived without ... I am telling you, roysh, I never even knew nipples could crack and I was very happy not knowing it. I mean, all I knew about the whole scenario was six seconds of seriously good loving, and now I'm basically expected to be an expert on how to, like, breathe like Dorth Vader and deal with baby turds.Sometimes, life just isn't fair to the babe magnet supremo ... This is SO not good for my rep - but do you think Sorcha even, like, cares about that? Not focking likely!
Should You be Laughing at This?
by Hugleikur DagssonHugleikur Dagsson is from Iceland. During the winter in Iceland there are only three hours of daylight. During the summer in Iceland there is no darkness. Iceland’s national drink is called ‘Black Death’. Iceland's national dish is putrefied shark meat. In Iceland this book is a cult-bestseller. The questions you should ask yourself is:Should you be laughing at this?
Sir Gadabout Gets Worse (Sir Gadabout #6)
by Martyn BeardsleyMeet Sir Gadabout - the Worst Knight in the World . . . When Excalibur is stolen, Sir Gads sets off with his trusty band of followers to find the evil Sir Rudyard the Rancid. They must face the worst if they are to return the mighty sword to its rightful home.
Slawter: Book 3 In The Demonata Series (The Demonata #3)
by Darren ShanMore chills and thrills in Darren Shan’s horrifying Demonata series. Let the Slawter commence…
Solo
by Jill MansellSOLO is a delightful romantic novel from bestselling author Jill Mansell, not to be missed by readers of Lucy Diamond and Cathy Kelly. Mad about a man who's dangerous to know? Surely it's better to go solo...When Tessa Duvall, a struggling artist, reluctantly agreed to accompany her best friend Holly to a party at the elegant Charrington Grange Hotel, she had every intention of sneaking off early. For parties full of strangers bored the knickers off Tessa and this one proved to be no exception - until she encountered Ross Monahan, whose wicked reputation was as high profile as the hotel he owned and ran with such panache. But while Holly set about ensnaring his reluctant brother Max, Tessa simply accepted Ross for what he was, a sensational one-night stand...until she realised, weeks later, that one-night stands can have far-reaching consequences...What readers are saying about Solo: 'I was absolutely gripped by this book. I would definitely recommend this to anyone who is looking for a nice romantic read with twists and turns at every corner' Goodreads reviewer, 5 stars'Does anyone write this type of story better than Jill Mansell? Such a knack for mixing fantasy and reality, glamorous jet-setters and down-to-earth folks. She's really in a class of her own and Solo is one of her best' Amazon reviewer, 5 stars'A wonderfully written piece with so much to enthral, madden, excite and sadden you' Amazon reviewer, 5 stars
‘…startled by his furry shorts!’ (Confessions of Georgia Nicolson #7)
by Louise RennisonSound the Cosmic Horn! Bestselling author Louise Rennison’s seventh book of the confessions of crazy but loveable teenager Georgia Nicolson is out in EB!
Stop the Show!: A History of Insane Incidents and Absurd Accidents in the Theater
by Brad SchreiberThe first book to compile all of theater's glorious bloopers--an uproarious homage to the stageStop the Show! is the first book to assemble humorous, frightening and bizarre anecdotes about the history of all that went wrong during live theatrical productions in the U.S. and the United Kingdom. It is the publishing equivalent of TV bloopers for the legitimate stage. This book includes stories from top directors, actors, playwrights and technicians from New York, Los Angeles, and points in between, to the United Kingdom, from the 19th century to today. There are stories about missed entrances and exits, onstage unscripted fights between performers, improvised lines, accidental pratfalls, falling scenery, and costume, lighting and makeup screwups. The backstage provides sordid tales of practical jokes, treachery, misplaced props, wild arguments, and generally the kinds of things Michael Frayn created for his farce about a theatrical disaster, Noises Off. This book doesn't leave out the theatergoers either, who snore, fight with each other, talk back to the performers, search for their seats, become suddenly ill, eat, drink, make merry, and are yelled at by the performers--all of which sometimes prompts the show to stop, even though we've always been told it must go on.
The Stornoway Way
by Kevin MacNeil‘Fuck everyone from Holden Caulfield to Bridget Jones, fuck all the American and English phoney fictions that claim to speak for us; they don’t know the likes of us exist and they never did. We are who we are because we grew up the Stornoway way. We do not live in the back of beyond, we live in the very heart of beyond …’Meet R Stornoway, drink-addled misfit, inhabitant of the Hebridean Isle of Lewis, and meandering man fighting to break free of an island he just can’t seem to let go of…
T2 Trainspotting (Movie Tie-in Editions Ser. #0)
by Irvine WelshNow a major film directed by Danny Boyle reuniting the cast of TrainspottingYears on from Trainspotting Sick Boy is back in Edinburgh after a long spell in London. Having failed spectacularly as a hustler, pimp, husband, father and businessman, Sick Boy taps into an opportunity which to him represents one last throw of the dice. However, to realise his ambitions within the Adult industries, Sick Boy must team up with old pal and fellow exile Mark Renton. Still scheming, still scamming, Sick Boy and Renton soon find out that they have unresolved issues to address concerning the unhinged Begbie, the troubled, drug-addled Spud, but, most of all, with each other.T2 Trainspotting was previously published as Porno.
A Tale of Two Sisters
by Anna MaxtedThey were the best of friends, they were the worst of friends ...Lizbet and Cassie are close, yet far apart. After a clueless upbringing (their parents' basic childrearing beliefs: 'play a trombone, see a monkey, get some fresh air'), the two sisters strike out in opposite directions, both desperate to escape... Cassie is skinny, clever, charismatic, successful - every right-thinking girl's worst nightmare. The one flaw in her quality-controlled life may be her marriage - and if there are any other flaws lurking, Cassie has them covered. Lizbet is plumper, plainer, dreamier - more concerned about the design on her coffee cup than whether she can afford her new house. She works reluctantly for Ladzmag, desperate to make her name as a writer, but stuck writing embarrassing articles on sex. Her one achievement is her relationship with Tim, who thinks she's cute not stupid for asking why Jesus has a Mexican name. Despite Cassie being the favoured child, she and Lizbet have managed to stay friends. Perhaps because - as Cassie says - they've always wanted different things. But that's about to change. Confronted by challenges that they never asked for, forced apart by mistakes not their own, will Cassie and Lizbet ever realise the real meaning of sisterhood, or will true nature ruin everything...?
Tanglewreck (Blackbirds Ser.)
by Jeanette WintersonBut Time is big business, and whoever gets control of Time controls life as we know it!In a house called Tanglewreck lives a girl called Silver and her guardian Mrs Rokabye. Unbeknown to Silver there is a family treasure in the form of a seventeenth-century watch called the Timekeeper, and this treasure holds the key to the mysterious and frightening changes in time. When Silver goes on the run to try and protect herself and the Timekeeper, a remarkable and compelling adventure unfolds, full of brilliance and wit, as is befitting an author with the imagination and style of Jeanette Winterson.
The Terror of St Trinian's and Other Drawings (Penguin Modern Classics)
by Ronald SearleRonald Searle takes us back to the world of the Gothic Public School in The Terror of St Trinian's. In this gloriously anarchic academy for young ladies we witness shootings, knifings, torture and witchcraft, as well as many maidenly arts. The subject of many evergreen films, St Trinian's is synonymous with the sort of outrageous behaviour that would make a convict blench. This book also contains a selection of Ronald Searle's work from the non-school books, including The Rake's Progress, Souls in Torment and Merry England, etc. and their publication in one volumes stakes Searle's claim to be the greatest and most influential English satirist since the war.
Theatre's Strangest Acts (Strangest Ser.)
by Sheridan MorleyThis enthralling collection of weird and wonderful tales from the world of theatre includes such unusual stories as the legendary ghost of Drury Lane, how an actor can exorcise the curse of Macbeth, and the well-known theatre manager who fried bacon and eggs in the Royal Box to feed her starving cast at the interval.
This Book Will Get You Laid
by Emma Dickens"Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus", told us what men and women were thinking about each other; "He's Just Not That Into You", told us where women were going wrong; and "The Rules And The Game", told women and men respectively how to attract a partner. But there has never been a book which shamelessly gets right down to the basics, aimed at both sexes - and does so with a sense of humour. After all, sex is meant to be fun, right? "This Book Will Get You Laid" takes the age-old dance between men and women and strips it down to its bare essentials - how to catch the eye of your chosen victim, sorry, loved one; how to make initial contact (or 'Moving in for the Kill'); foolproof mechanisms for persuading them to come back to your place; and, once there, how to make all their clothes fall off as if by accident. The rest is up to you...
Tiny Ladies in Shiny Pants: Based On A True Story
by Jill SolowayThe unforgettable collection of autobiographical essays from Jill Soloway, the creator and director of Transparent and Emmy-nominated writer for Six Feet Under.When Jill was just thirteen, she and her best friend donned the tightest satin pants they could find, poufed up their hair and squeezed into Candies heels, then headed to downtown Chicago in search of their one-and-only true loves forever: the members of whichever rock band was touring through town. Never mind that both girls still had braces, coke-bottle-thick glasses and had only just bought their first bras...they were fabulous, they felt beautiful, they were tiny ladies in shiny pants.But as an all grown up and a successful writer and producer, Jill came to look back on her tiny self and share her shiny tales with fondness, absurdity, and obsessive-compulsive attention to even the most embarrassing details. From the highly personal (conflating her own loss of virginity and the Kobe Bryant accusations), to the political (what she has in common with Monica Lewinsky and Chandra Levy), to the outrageously Los Angelean (why women wear huge diamonds and what they must do to get them),Tiny Ladies in Shiny Pants is a classic genre-defying combination of personal essay and memoir, or a hilarious, unruly and unapologetic evaluation of society, religion, sex and love.
Top Gear: A Truckload Of Trivia To Drive You Round The Bend (Topgear Ser.)
by Ivan Berg Nik BergDid you know that Jasons and Tracies crash more cars than Jacquelines and Damons? Or that a boomerang can be used to repair a knackered clutch? Have you ever wanted to visit a naked car show, wondered what it's like to drive on the world's most dangerous road, or receive the world's most expensive speeding ticket?Want to read about flying cars, amphibious cars, or atomic cars? What about the Accord that can actually strike a chord, or the love car park? Dip inside to find all these plus stacks of other stuff, including cars in films, cars on TV, cars in songs - even cars as coffins.Top Gear: Motor Mania is a car book like no other. It's full of the strangest stories, fascinating facts and spectacular stats - a must for any car nut.
The Trick and Other Stories
by George LaytonGeorge Layton’s stories evoke a nostalgic, atmospheric view of growing up in the 1950s. From the funny and faintly ridiculous to the terribly tragic, every tale brings a young boy’s small world, and its big implications, to life.
Tricks to Freak Out Your Friends
by Pete FirmanIf you're interested in magic because on your 9th birthday your Mummy and Daddy booked the ruddy-faced Uncle Fiddlesticks who pulled a bunny out of a hat and made sweets appear from his pockets which he forced you to verify empty and you want to know how it was done, this isn't the book for you. (Stick with the counselling; you'll get through it.) The material in this book is 'grab you by the balls and twist 'em' stuff. It's sick, it's rude, they'll say it's in poor taste but they'll want to see more: it will blow their minds. Here is a book rammed full of tricks to really get people talking. Tricks that will give you the reputation of the guy or girl that does the really weird stuff, who can crack their nose, take a bite out of a glass, perform magic that won't be forgotten later that day. If I bent a spoon under your nose and had it melt in your hand and then floated 6 inches off the ground you'd take notice, wouldn't you? It's all here and more...
The Ultimate Book of Insults: A Handbook of Abuse, Snubs, Taunts, and Put-Downs
by Geoff TibballsA brilliant collection of insults and sharp retorts for every situation. Includes studied insults, wry putdowns, literary, political, and dramatic rebukes, playground insults, barbs and jibes. The perfect resource for responding to life's slings and arrows with humour and satisfying venom.
The View from Here
by Joan BakewellBuilt loosely on her much-loved Guardian column - Just 70The View from Here is Bakewell's discerning and heartwarming account of life at 70 and beyond. A household name and a popular radio and TV broadcaster, Bakewell is the ideal ambassador for challenging what being 70 can mean for women today. All of life, including the taboos of old age, are here - work, family, love, sex, body and death - written about with humour, warmth, and Bakewell's characteristic verve and intelligence.
A Wayne in a Manger
by Gervase PhinnA Wayne in a Manger is the hilarious compilation of nativity stories by Gervase Phinn.Discover some wonderfully funny and touching nativity play anecdotes, including children forgetting their lines, ad-libbing, falling of the stage, picking their noses and showing their knickers. One brilliant anecdote tells of an innkeeper who generously says there's plenty of room for Mary and Joseph, while another child, jealous of Joseph's starring role, allows Mary to come in but not Joseph, who can 'push off' ... There's the baby Jesus who suddenly pipes up with 'My name is Tammy, are you my Mommy?' and funniest of all, Mary who tells Joseph, 'I'm having a baby - oh and it's not yours'.Gervase Phinn's A Wayne in a Manger is the perfect gift this Christmas.'Gervase Phinn's memoirs have made him a hero in school staff-rooms' Daily TelegraphGervase Phinn is an author and educator from Rotherham who, after teaching for fourteen years in a variety of schools, moved to North Yorkshire to be a school inspector. He has written autobiographies, novels, plays, collections of poetry and stories, as well as a number of books about education. He holds five fellowships, honorary doctorates from Hull, Leicester and Sheffield Hallam universities, and is a patron of a number of children's charities and organizations. He is married with four adult children. His books include The Other Side of the Dale, Over Hill and Dale, Head Over Heels in the Dales,The Heart of the Dales, Up and Down in the Dales and Trouble at the Little Village School.
Welcome to JesusLand!: (Formerly the United States of America) Shocking Tales of Depravity, Sex, and Sin Uncovered by God's Favorite Church, Landover Baptist
by Andrew Bradley Chris Harper Erik WalkerHold on to your Bibles, folks! You are about to be raptured into the gut-busting, demon-stomping insanity of God's Favorite Church,Landover Baptist - the web's ultimate religious spoof. In the sacred and honorable tradition of The Onion comes a hilarious collection of outrageous news, graphics and games that gleefully skewers America's very own Taliban,the evangelical right. Pastor Deacon Fred, Mrs. Betty Bowers, America's Best Christian(tm), Pastor Harry Hardwick and the rest of the pew-jumping, finger-pointing crazies at Landover Baptist Church (Guaranteeing SalvationSince 1620!) provide a sharply written book full of uproarious words and images. With its shocking exposes, X-rated bible quizzes, scandalous sidebars and mug shots of America's damned, "Welcome to Jesusland!" is sure to become a classic of religious and political humor, taking its rightfulplace next to the Holy Bible as essential reading in all of America's hotel nightstands.