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50 Jobs Worse Than Yours
by Justin RaczGuaranteed to make you grateful for the job you have and thankful for the one you don't. From Saddam Hussein Double to Telemarketing Script Writer to the guy who operates the "It's a Small World After All" ride, satirist Justin Racz has spanned the globe to find fifty jobs worse than yours, so we can all feel better about our own. Featuring fifty color photos of the awful, the pitiful, the hysterical jobs out there, and all their undesirable employment details, Fifty Jobs Worse Than Yours is the perfect gift for anyone stuck in a nine-to-five grind who needs to remember why it could be a whole, whole lot worse.
50 People Who Buggered Up Britain
by Quentin LettsWhich fifty people made Britain the wreck she is? From ludicrous propagandist Alastair Campbell to the Luftwaffe's allies, the modernist architects, it's time to name the guilty.Quentin Letts sharpens his nib and stabs them where they deserve it, from TV gardener Alan Titchmarsh, the dumbed-down buffoon who put the 'h' in Aspidistra, to the perpetrators of the 'Credit Crunch'. Margaret Thatcher ruptured our national unity. The creators of EastEnders trashed our brand over high tea. Thus, he argues, are the people who made our country the ugly, scheming, cheating, beer-ridden bum of the Western world. Here are the fools and knaves and vulgarians who ripped down our British glories and imposed the tawdry and the trite. In a half century we have gone from end-of-Empire to descent-into-Hell.
50 People Who Fouled Up Football
by Michael HendersonDespite its immense wealth, and the high public profile it enjoys, English football is not a land of milk and honey. The national side has won the World Cup only once when England staged the tournament in 1966 and the woeful performances in recent years would suggest that Sir Alf Ramsey's success will retain its unique status.50 People Who Fouled Up Football casts a sceptical eye on the game in this country. It looks at the game as it really is, through the gaze of an outsider, who grew up loving the game but who has been turned off by the excesses of players, managers, broadcasters and fans, and increasingly by the rich men who own and run the clubs.The big bang came in 1992, when the Premier League went its own merry way, aided by the millions that Sky television found to ease the passage. Now the game is richer, and can attract the world's leading stars, but it is poorer in spirit. The old football community means little to these Masters of the Universe. The old links between club and community have been ruined, and many players live in a different world, where they feel free to behave as they like.The book names the guilty, who include those on the fringes of the game as well as the ones at the heart of it. Indignant in the right sense, it is a lament for a spoilt game, and a world that has vanished.The 50 People are, in alphabetical order:Roman Abramovich, Sam Allardyce, Mike Ashley, David Baddiel, Tony Banks, Joey Barton, Ken Bates, Victoria Beckham, George Best, Sid and Doris Bonkers, Billy Bragg, Ashley Cole, Garry Cook, Hunter Davies, Didier Drogba, Martin Edwards, Sven-Goran Eriksson, 'The Fans', Paul Gascoigne, 'Geordie Blubber', 'The Golden Generation', Alan Green, Alan Hansen, Derek Hatton, Nigel Kennedy, Richard Keys, Lord Kinnaird, Nick Love, Steve McClaren, Freddie Mercury, Piers Morgan, Jose Mourinho, Graham Poll, Sir Alf Ramsey, Antonio Rattin, Charles Reep, Don Revie, Peter Ridsdale, Robinho, Cristiano Ronaldo, Wayne Rooney, Richard Scudamore, Bill Shankly, Bob Shennan, Peter Swales, Gordon Taylor, Sir Harold Thompson, Terry Venables, Ian Wright, Pini Zahavi.
50 People Who Screwed Up Scotland
by Allan BrownTo be Scottish is to have a lot to live down, and as Allan Brown shows, this lot do the job superbly. Whether it be Robert Burns, indecipherable bard of rustic gibberish or Sean Connery, die-hard advocate of a country he refuses to live in.Or, Alex Salmond, the chortling bullfrog of separatism or Tommy Sheridan, the sexy socialist hardliner. They’re all here, and many others; a veritable embassy of bad ambassadors.50 People Who Screwed Up Scotland is a humorous and chronologically-sequential series of essays, histories and anecdotes that consider those episodes and occurrences in Scotland's political, cultural and social story where, against all odds, defeat was plucked from the jaws of victory.
50 Relatives Worse Than Yours
by Justin RaczThey're kooky, they're crazy-50 Relatives Worse Than Yours is a nightmarish family reunion that will have you appreciating your own weird clan. There's the Family Newsletter Publisher who keeps you updated on how Uncle Carl's hip is doing; there's Holistic New Age Aunt, who knows Madonna from Kabbalah class but refuses to introduce you because that would be bad karma; and there's Child Who Was in a National TV Commercial, who has more money than you do. And then there's Uncle Speedo, the Monopoly Bank Thief, and Your Son, the Tenant. Filled with hilarious photographs and bullet points listing all their horrible characteristics, 50 Relatives Worse Than Yours is the perfect gift for anyone who's embarrassed by some members of their family, which let's just admit it is about everyone. And who knows, you might even recognize a relative or two... Justin Racz is an advertising copywriter. He is the author of J.Crewd and 50 Jobs Worse Than Yours. He lives in New York City. Praise for 50 Jobs Worse Than Yours: "Take this humorous tour of the world's worst work."-Entertainment Weekly "Justin Racz has done a tremendous service to us all with 50 Jobs Worse Than Yours, a work probably best kept on your job site for bad days."-Chicago Tribune Also available: 50 Jobs Worse Than Yours hc 1-58234-492-2 ISBN-13: 978-158234-492-8 $14.95
50 Things About Us: What We Really Need to Know About Britain
by Mark Thomas50 THINGS ABOUT US is a fast and furiously funny journey through our national memory. It's about money, history, songs, gongs, wigs, unicorns, guns, bungs, sods of soil and rich fuckers.'Patriotism is often the point where history and advertising intersect, and it was that brand of nationalism that Rees-Mogg and Johnson attempted to sell. It is a brand that can only hark backwards; a nostalgic nationalism built on half histories and wishes … The kind of patriotism where the poetry of John Betjeman sits alongside blaming migrants for TB.'But that is not our story. In fact, it is far from the narrative so many of us are a part of.'From self-deceptions on size, stature and space (clue: there's more than enough for everyone if we lose the golf courses) to the living links between empire, slavery, money and power, this is Mark Thomas' quest to remind us of the true and shared greatness of modern Britain.Structured as a list of fifty crucial 'Things', and fresh from a lock-down spent interviewing hundreds of NHS workers for the Wellcome Collection permanent archive, this is Mark Thomas at his provocative, passionate best.
50 Things I Wish I'd Told You: Life Skills
by Polly PowellLife is full of valuable lessons, yet none more so than those passed from parent to child. Whilst mothers and fathers always mean to pass on their esteemed nuggets of wisdom, time and practicalities often get in the way. The time to fly the nest comes around quickly, and some of those lessons may come in handy.
50 Ways to Find a Lover
by Lucy-Anne Holmes50 Ways to Find a Lover is a hilarious, fun and unputdownable romantic comedy, from Lucy-Anne Holmes.I feel like a failure. It's now been 351 days since I had sex. That's a carnal drought. If Bob Geldof knew about it he'd hold a concert. Sarah Sargeant has been single for three years and nine months. She has just spent five months plucking up the courage to ask out a balding man with a paunch who works in her local pub. The gentleman in question informed her that he would rather stay in and watch the Narnia movie on DVD. Her pride has not just been bruised, it's been disembowelled. And she vows it's the last time she will ever reach out to a member of the opposite sex. But her family and friends have other ideas. They enter her into a reality TV show against her will, persuade her to go speed dating and even more radically, they encourage her to start a blog. Suddenly Sarah Sargeant is on a mission: a mission to explore 50 Ways To Find A Lover.
50 Ways to Score a Goal and Other Football Poems
by Brian Bilston'Bilston is a magician with words' Guardian'Someone who knows their way round both a joke and a bittersweet narrative.' The TimesA brilliant collection of funny, witty football poems by Brian Bilston.50 Ways to Score a Goal and Other Football Poems shows Brian Bilston's genuine love for the beautiful game, whether it is a kick about in the back garden, a Sunday match in the park or watching your team winning the cup. There are poems about everything from training to match day, after match analysis, honest football chants and half-time satsumas. Includes chants, ballads, puns, acrostics and shape poems. This is a must for football fans of all ages.
50 Years of MAC: A Half Century of British Life
by Dr Mark BryantPolitical cartoonist MAC started at the Daily Sketch in 1969. At the end of 2018, he will have been capturing British life for 50 years. To mark these five decades working as an editorial cartoonist in Fleet Street, the very best of MAC's cartoons from the 1960s to the present day have been assembled to tell the history of Britain and its place in the world. From miniskirts and Flower Power to the Falklands War and the rise of Margaret Thatcher, and from the Royal Family and the adventures of Harry Potter to Andy Murray and the Spice Girls, this book provides a unique and humorous perspective on the past fifty years.
The 500 Hats of Bartholomew Cubbins (Classic Seuss Ser.)
by Dr. SeussWhat a lot of hats Bartholomew has in this imaginative and clever tale! Find out what happens when the king asks him to remove them…one by one.
501 Lekkerlag Grappe
by Andre BrinkVan ou Koos se manewales tot die dom blondine se eskapades, van dierekaperjolle tot plaasplesiere, k(l)askenades tot kantoorpret ... 501 Lekkerlag-grappe is propvol staaltjies en verhaaltjies wat jou sal laat kraai van die lag! Dié boek bevat ’n mengsel van tradisionele Afrikaanse grappe, maar sal jou ook met nuwes laat hoes en proes. Lag luidkeels, uit jou maag, en geniet die ou bekendes se amusante avonture. Lekkerlag-grappe is ’n onontbeerlike grapgids, ’n móét vir elke huis!
52 New things: The least famous Nick Thorpe in the world and his journey to conquer the boredom of modern life
by Nick ThorpeWhen was the last time you tried something truly new? The modern world is full of possibilities, adventures and excitement but also routines. The daily grind can make us forget about the former as we embrace the monotony of the latter. It can be hard to extract ourselves from the comforting embrace of our favourite TV programme, food or jumper. For one man, the boredom of this very modern life became too much to bear. And so he challenged himself to do something about it. Starting small, his project soon grew into one life-changing year. 52 New Things is the story of one man who decided to put down the Monster Munch, switch off the TV and do something different. He travelled, he danced, he flew, he drove across continents, but most significantly, he started saying yes to the hilarious and bewildering experiences that life has to offer. And he has the Christmas single, the tattoo and lack of body hair to prove it. 52 New Things is a book that is hard to define. Travelogue meets unconventional self-help book meets personal journey for ensuing hilarity. Nick J. Thorpe's journey to make his life more interesting has hilarious, surprising and often life-affirming consequences. He explores the dizzy array of opportunities that modern life offers with a guiding hand that is both motivational and hilarious. This is a frank, funny, full frontal account of a year's worth of new experiences. It might just inspire you to try some new things your own.* * Even if you don't want to, Nick's adventures and misadventures will have you laughing out of your seat - which could be a new thing in itself.
The 52-Storey Treehouse (The Treehouse Books #4)
by Andy GriffithsWinner of the ABIA Book of the Year AwardAndy and Terry's incredible, ever-expanding treehouse has thirteen new storeys, including a watermelon-smashing level, a wave machine, a life-size snakes and ladders game (with real ladders and real snakes!), a rocket-powered carrot launcher, a Ninja Snail Training Academy and a high-tech detective agency with all the latest high-tech detective technology. Which is lucky, because they have a BIG mystery to solve - Where is Mr Big Nose???Well, what are you waiting for? Come on up!The 52-Storey Treehouse is the fourth book in Andy Griffiths and Terry Denton's wacky treehouse adventures, where the laugh-out-loud story is told through a combination of text and fantastic cartoon-style illustrations.
52 Things to Do While You Poo: The 1980s Edition
by Hugh JassburnFrom the bestselling author of 52 Things to Do While You Poo, this nostalgic mix of trivia and puzzles will bring back the awesome appeal of the EightiesIf you grew up in the 1980s, you know that nothing compares to the music, fashion, toys, TV, films and sheer feel of that decade. But how much can you really remember?When you next take a trip to the toilet, this colourful collection of puzzles, activities and trivia will serve as a leisurely stroll down memory lane, dusting off half-remembered facts and even filling in a few gaps.From bestselling author and fiendish brain-teaser Hugh Jassburn, this illustrated celebration of history’s finest decade includes the following challenges and more:Help Arnie navigate through a jungle maze to get to the chopperMatch hit songs to the year they came outSolve trivia questions relating to Madonna and the TV show DallasTrack down the names of iconic world leaders in a word searchSpot the differences in a sea of Rubik’s cubes52 Things to Do While You Poo: The 1980s Edition is the perfect gift for those who lived through these glory days – or those who just wish they had.
52 Things to Do While You Poo: The 1970s Edition
by Hugh JassburnFrom the bestselling author of 52 Things to Do While You Poo, this nostalgic and amusing mix of trivia and puzzles will bring back all the stylish charm of the SeventiesIf you grew up in the 1970s, you know that nothing compares to the music, fashion, toys, TV, films and sheer feel of that decade. But how much can you really remember?When you next take a trip to the toilet, this colourful collection of puzzles, activities and trivia will serve as a leisurely stroll down memory lane, dusting off half-remembered facts and even filling in a few gaps.From bestselling author and fiendish brain-teaser Hugh Jassburn, this illustrated celebration of history’s finest decade includes the following challenges and more:Help Evel Knievel zoom through a maze on his way to a death-defying stunt jumpMatch hit songs to the year they came outSolve trivia questions relating to ABBA and the blockbuster JawsTrack down the names of iconic world leaders in a word searchSpot the differences in a sea of space hoppers52 Things to Do While You Poo: The 1970s Edition is the perfect gift for those who lived through these glory days – or those who just wish they had.
52 Things to Do While You Poo: Hunt the Dump
by Hugh JassburnYou know a pile of poo when you see one. But what about when the poo is carefully concealed in an everyday scene? Bestselling author Hugh Jassburn has created a selection of entrancing visual puzzles to entertain you while you take a break. From the beach to the street, there’s a dump to be discovered on every spread of this hilarious book.
52 Things to Do While You Poo: Not the Bog-Standard Edition
by Hugh JassburnQuality time alone on the lavatory is a truly special occasion. What better way to celebrate and honour this ritual than with some extraordinary reading material? Lord of toilet trivia and master architect of poo-themed puzzles, Hugh Jassburn has unloaded his creative bowels once more in this astounding collection of all-new amusements. From eye-watering stats to mind-boggling mazes, this special edition is anything but bog-standard.
52 Things to Do While You Poo: The Fart Edition
by Hugh JassburnFrom the bestselling author of 52 Things to Do While You Poo, this hilarious mix of fart-themed puzzles and trivia will blow your socks off!Roaring from the rear, belching from behind, tooting the trouser trumpet – whatever you call it, we all fart, some of us more than others (and some a lot more than others).Everyone knows a committed farter – with their knowing smile, never shying away from taking full responsibility. So give them the recognition they deserve: a book celebrating their greatest skill, full of activities and puzzles to keep them engrossed, along with fascinating fart facts that’ll blow their mind.From bestselling author and brain-teaser Hugh Jassburn, this illustrated collection includes the following delights and more:Find the “stink”, “smell” and “stench” in one of many word searchesDiscover the chemical composition of farts and how much gas you pass per daySpot the differences between flatulent attendees at a yoga classFill in the fart clouds in several rounds of sudokuEnjoy a selection of fart quotes from the likes of Robin Williams, Andy Samberg and Billy ConnollyWhether you’re on the john or under the covers, 52 Things to Do While You Poo: The Fart Edition is an unforgettable experience, as playful as it is pungent.
52 Things to Do While You Poo: Puzzles, Activities and Trivia to Keep You Occupied
by Hugh JassburnThe average person spends three years of their life on the toilet – and when you have nothing to do but poo, perching on the porcelain can be very boring. But fear not! Thanks to this book, you can say goodbye to this everyday tedium.World-renowned excretion expert Hugh Jassburn has compiled a compendium of entertaining activities and informative fun that will make you want to stay put, even if you don’t need to go. Try your hand at word searches and fiendish hidden-picture games, or test yourself with maze puzzles and brain-twisters. You can also enjoy a roll-call of mind-blowing lavatory facts you never knew you needed until now.So, pick up this book and start to make the most of your time on the toilet, because working your brain and your butt simultaneously has never been easier or more enjoyable. Doing a number two will never be the same again. “Every toilet should have a copy of this book next to it.” Frank Aeces, WHAT TOILET? magazine “From poo puzzles to poo facts, pooing has never been so much fun.” Dr Dum Ping, POO MONTHLY
52 Things to Learn on the Loo: Things to Teach Yourself While You Poo
by Hugh JassburnExpand your mind as you lighten your load!Make use of those dull moments on the lavatory by teaching yourself how a starfish eats a clam, how to say “Hello” in every European language and what the dot over an “i” is called. Covering all types of trivia, from science and natural history to the different types of moustache, this little book contains enough fascinating facts to keep you learning throughout the year.You will pick up impressive knowledge and remarkable wisdom such as:The capital cities of every countryThe major bones in the human bodyThe longest word you can spell using only the top row of letters on a keyboardThe inventor of sticky tapeThe world’s oceans and seasHow bees make honeyAnd much, much more. A superb addition to anyone’s bathroom library, this book could help you win at your next quiz or at least give you a bunch of fun facts to spout when you’re out and about.“Taking a dump just got a lot more interesting”Crapping Quarterly
52 Times Britain was a Bellend: The History You Didn’t Get Taught At School
by James FeltonTwitter hero James Felton brings you the painfully funny history of Britain you were never taught at school, fully illustrated and chronicling 52 of the most ludicrous, weird and downright 'baddie' things we Brits* have done to the world since time immemorial - before conveniently forgetting all about them, of course. Including:- Starting wars with China when they didn't buy enough of our class A drugs- Inventing a law so we didn't have to return objects we'd blatantly stolen from other countries - Casually creating muzzles for women- And almost going to war over a crime committed by a pig52 TIMES BRITAIN WAS A BELLEND will complete your knowledge of this sceptred isle in ways you never expected. So if you've ever wondered how we put the 'Great' in 'Great Britain', wonder no more . . . *And when we say British, for the most part we unfortunately just mean the English.
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by Katherine HeinyFrom the author of Standard Deviation comes a wryly tender story of crises and cardboard boxes; of marriage and moving on. *Includes a free extract from Katherine Heiny’s debut novel, Standard Deviation*
The $64 Tomato: How One Man Nearly Lost His Sanity, Spent a Fortune, and Endured an Existential Crisis in the Quest for the Perfect Garden
by William AlexanderBill Alexander had no idea that his simple dream of having a vegetable garden and small orchard in his backyard would lead him into life-and-death battles with groundhogs, webworms, weeds, and weather; midnight expeditions in the dead of winter to dig up fresh thyme; and skirmishes with neighbors who feed the vermin (i.e., deer). Not to mention the vacations that had to be planned around the harvest, the near electrocution of the tree man, the limitations of his own middle-aged body, and the pity of his wife and kids. When Alexander runs (just for fun!) a costbenefit analysis, adding up everything from the live animal trap to the Velcro tomato wraps and then amortizing it over the life of his garden, it comes as quite a shock to learn that it cost him a staggering $64 to grow each one of his beloved Brandywine tomatoes. But as any gardener will tell you, you can't put a price on the unparalleled pleasures of providing fresh food for your family.
The 65-Storey Treehouse (The Treehouse Books #5)
by Andy GriffithsThe 65-Storey Treehouse is the fifth book in Andy Griffiths and Terry Denton's wacky treehouse adventures, where the laugh-out-loud story is told through a combination of text and fantastic cartoon-style illustrations.Andy and Terry's amazing 65-Storey Treehouse now has a pet-grooming salon, a birthday room where it's always your birthday (even when it's not), a room full of exploding eyeballs, a lollipop shop, a quicksand pit, an ant farm, a time machine and Tree-NN: a 24-hour-a-day TV news centre keeping you up to date with all the latest treehouse news, current events and gossip. Well, what are you waiting for? Come on up!