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The A-Z Of Living Together
by Jeff GreenWhat happens when those two most incompatible of creatures - the human male and the human female - settle down for a life of togetherness and arguments about the toilet seat? Award-winning comedian Jeff Green bravely sets out to discover the truth. Why is, 'Wow, you're a fantastic cleaner', not considered a compliment? And what is it about women and candles...? Along the way he offers helpful advice (why you shouldn't cheer when your partner says, 'I'm not angry, I'm disappointed'), handy tips (ways to avoid becoming broody: get up every hour throughout the night and burn £200) and essential buys (see 'exercise equipment and other places to hang wet washing'). Whether you're hopelessly coupled or gratefully single, The A-Z of Living Together has all the answers you need. Because it's not just men who behave badly...
The A-Z Of Having A Baby: A Survival Guide (The Sentients of Orion #2)
by Jeff GreenCongratulations! You're having a baby! Or maybe you're a proud parent, holding your little bundle of joy with a mixture of ecstasy, wonder and sheer unadulterated TERROR? But don't panic! Real help is at hand, in the form of new dad and award-winning comedian Jeff Green. Let him guide you through the late nights, the stretch marks, the haemorrhoids... (and that's just the dads) and reassure you that you are NOT ALONE. So Dad, if you're suffering from father blues (the slow realisation that all your holidays will now be at Center Parcs), and Mum, if you're still miffed that your partner kept just out of punching range during childbirth, then this book is most definitely for you. Because it's not just babies who have teething problems...
The A-Z Of Being Single: A Survival Guide to Dating and Mating
by Jeff GreenAh, the single life. The blind dates, the guiltless sleeping in the starfish position, the 'table for one in a draught, please'. In his hilarious new book, Jeff Green offers practical advice on how to find love, or failing that how to pretend you've got a significant other half. For women: Leave the fridge door open for no reason. For men: Wash your towels. And if you've just been dumped, Jeff shows how you can reach 'closure', otherwise known as uncompromising REVENGE. Also includes:** Great chat-up lines for the older lover: 'Did you break a hip when you fell from heaven?' ** Beauty tips for dates: How to look twenty years younger? Stand further away ** Things not to say on a first date: Would you like to see my shrine to the others? ** And at last, the truth about what women really want*If you're in a couple, this book will remind you why your own situation is - just about - worth tolerating. And if you're happily single, follow Jeff's advice and you're guaranteed to stay that way... * everything
The A to Z of Us
by null Hannah Doyle❤️Don't miss Hannah Doyle's hilarious new romcom THE PICK UP available in May❤️ ‘Brilliantly funny and sweet, so heartwarming and relatable. I couldn’t stop reading it!’ Lucy Vine Can love ever be as easy as ABC? If you want to know the A-Z of love then it starts with Alice and ends with Zach. Alice is a self-confessed cynic when it comes to love. She’s never had a serious relationship and after supporting her best friend through a devastating break-up, she’s not about to let down her barriers anytime soon. Relationships always end badly. 😯 Zach is a romantic. Even after his parents got divorced, he still believes in love and is eager to settle down and have a family of his own. He just hasn’t met The One yet. 😍 After a chance meet-cute at an art gallery, Zach is immediately intrigued by Alice and realising their names bookend the alphabet suggests that their next date begin with a B. Alice agrees to one date, pretty sure they will never get to 26 dates. But can love ever be as easy as ABC? Get ready for a slow burn romance ❤️🔥 'Warm, witty, romantic and oh-so relatable, I couldn't put this book down' Zara Stonely Readers LOVE Hannah Doyle: ‘Funny and touching’ ‘I really enjoyed this book, refreshing and different’ ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ ‘Laugh out loud level of funny’ ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ ‘I didn’t want to put the book down’ ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ ‘A brilliant dose of escapism’ ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ ‘Perfect for my summer holiday read’ ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
An A To Z Of Love: Room For Love / An A To Z Of Love / Summer Of Love (The Love Trilogy #2)
by Sophie PembrokeEveryone's talking about Mia Page. Again. Mia Page has been the subject of gossip in Aberarian for half her life, ever since her father ran off with his secretary–and the contents of the local museum safe–when she was fourteen.
A.K.A. Lucy: The Dynamic and Determined Life of Lucille Ball
by Sarah RoyalThis stunning package offers a rich, intimate, and highly entertaining look at the remarkable life and work of the television pioneer, the First Lady of Comedy, the legend, Lucille Ball—AKA Lucy. Full of fresh perspective, gorgeously designed, and richly informative, this is a book on Lucille Ball like none other. With profiles spotlighting the many different facets of the woman, AKA Lucy details how Ball changed the face of comedy and the entertainment industry. It sheds new light on the star's history, from her childhood through hard-scrabble days trying to make it in show business, falling head over heels in love and embarking on one of the great romances of the twentieth century, to becoming the biggest star in the world, a pioneer in television, and an icon for the ages. Filled with photos and highlighted by bright illustration and design, this is a volume almost as vivid and entertaining as the woman herself.AKA Lucy is officially authorized by the estate of Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz.
A 'A Bit Of A Shemozzle’: GAA Quips & Quotes
by Martin O'DuffyGaelic football and hurling have a language all of their own. From Micheál Ó Muircheartaigh and Micheál Ó hEithir to managers, players and fans, the GAA is home to an endless array of quotes and quips This collection of quotes, some well-known and others more obscure, also includes extracts from letters, laws and conversations that champion the traditions and lifestyle of these uniquely Irish sports and their place at the heart of our culture. A celebration of players, supporters and sport, this book is a slice of Irish tradition and humour rolled into one. "I looked at the scoreboard at one time and thought it was the time: 4-17." Darragh Ó Sé "Seán Óg Ó’Halpín – his father’s from Fermanagh, his mother from Fiji, neither a hurling stronghold." Micheál Ó Muircheartaigh "We were walking down the corridor with Mr Haughey who was on crutches at the time. He said to him ‘Páidí, did you break any bones during your career?’ and he said, ‘Yes, Taoiseach, but none of my own.'" Sean Walsh, former Kerry GAA chairman on Páidí Ó Sé "It’s like gang warfare, innit?" Noel Gallagher, musician, on hurling
99 Problems: Superstars Have Bad Days, Too
by Ali GrahamPoor Superstar. All the money and fame in the world won&’t prevent him from having a bad hair day. Or stepping in gum. Or not being able to fit into skinny jeans, or watching helplessly as a scoop of ice cream falls from its cone. Or so an unnamed Superstar&’s life is ingeniously imagined in this very funny book. Inspired by but not based on Jay Z&’s monster hit &“99 Problems,&” illustrator Ali Graham riffs on what might be the real problems afflicting a world-famous music mogul who also happens to be married to the foremost diva of our time. Begun as a Tumblr, which went viral almost instantly, 99 Problems is a highly conceptual gift book showcasing 99 full-color illustrations of a cartoon character who looks just like a certain legendary rapper, and the often ordinary and sometimes fantastical things that happen to him. And that&’s where the book finds its hilarious, compulsive hook—in an age that worships celebrity and assumes, somewhat enviously, that fame and fortune can protect one from life&’s travails, what if that just weren&’t true? There&’s a surprising, underlying warmth here. Even when the author dips into flights of pop culture fantasy—Superstar on the bow of the Titanic; Superstar whipping up a bad batch alongside Walter White from Breaking Bad—the recognition of shared kinship is strong. It&’s a cartoon version of celebrity, but like the best cartoons, it&’s edgy and knowing, yet sweet, too.
99% Mine: A Novel
by Sally Thorne'The next Sophie Kinsella' BUSTLE'A brilliant, biting, hilarious new voice' KRISTAN HIGGINS'I would read Sally Thorne's grocery list. She is THAT good' GOODREADS __________________crush (n.): a strong infatuation, particularly for someone beyond your reach . . . Darcy Barrett found her dream man at age eight - ever since, she's had to settle for good enough. Having conducted a global survey of men, she can categorically say that no one measures up to Tom Valeska, whose only flaw is that he's her twin brother Jamie's best friend - oh, and that ninety-nine of the time, he hasn't seemed interested in her. When the twins inherit their grandmother's tumble-down cottage, they're left with strict instructions to bring it back to its former glory. Darcy plans to leave as soon as the renovations start, but before she can cut and run - her usual MO - she finds a familiar face on her porch: Tom's arrived bearing power tools, and he's single for the first time in almost a decade.Suddenly Darcy's sticking around. Sparks start to fly - and not just because of the faulty wiring. But a one percent chance with Tom is no longer enough. This time around, Darcy's switching things up. She's going to make Tom Valeska ninety-nine percent hers.____________font size="+1">Find out why everyone is obsessed with Sally Thorne 'The perfect sexy, fun love story to read by the pool' PAIGE TOON on 99% Mine 'Charming, self-deprecating, quick-witted and funny.' The New York Times on The Hating Game'A smart and funny modern romance.' Good Housekeeping on The Hating Game'One of the most delectable rom-coms I've ever read' Entertainment Weekly on The Hating Game
99 Dead Snowmen
by Tony De SaullesStan the Snowman does not have the best of luck. In fact, it seems like everyone is out to get him. Beset by enemies on all sides, he is viciously attacked by an extraordinary array of things - old ladies, robins, super models, rabbits, hot water bottles, daffodils, chocolate flakes, evil cannibal snowmen... The list goes on and on in this hilarious cartoon collection of 99 freaky fatalities will leave you crying with laughter. A wintry Christmas present to die for.
97 Ways to Make a Dog Smile
by Jenny LangbehnNews for dogs and dog lovers to smile about: The irresistible bestseller is now even more irresistible with a 4-by-6-inch &“chunky&” format. As quirky, colorful, and giftable as ever, 97 Ways to Make a Dog Smile is now fresher and more appealing. Developed by Jenny Langbehn, a veterinary nurse who has a gift for making dogs happy, here are 97 foolproof methods and tricks for putting any dog into a state of pure pleasure. Enhancing each entry is an adorable, full-color photograph of the guaranteed result—a smiling dog. Give these a try: Lower-Ear Noogies. The Thumper. Lazy Man&’s Tetherball. The Hansel and Gretel—&“For an afternoon of fun, scamper about the house leaving a trail of plain popped popcorn in your wake.&” Or &“Subliminal Game,&” which works by sneaking a favorite word like &“cookie&” into otherwise boring jabber.* The tricks require no fancy props or special talents—just a willingness to surrender yourself to sheer silliness. They combine the creative gift of touch— unexpected ways to rub, massage, scratch, tickle, and knead—with imaginative play scenarios that are just loopy enough to ensure your dog will be amused, whether he&’s laughing with you or at you. These tricks really work.*Don&’t forget to have said cookie on hand.
97 Ways to Make a Cat Like You
by Carol KaufmannFrom the publisher of B. Kliban&’s Cat, All I Need to Know I Learned from My Cat, and Bad Cat, comes a new book that answers the question all cat lovers ask: How do I make my cat like me?97 Ways to Make a Cat Like You is the perfect interactive guide to these mysterious, fickle, seemingly aloof—yet really, just particular—pets. Paired with a full-color photograph of friendly, extroverted, happy cats (in case you&’ve forgotten what a cat looks like when he &“likes&” you), the 97 inspired, occasionally silly but always behaviorally-based tips and tricks prove that when a cat is treated right, he or she will respond in kind. Within reason. There&’s the &“Eye on the Ball&”—record a tennis match or a Ping-Pong game on TV to play back for your cat when he needs a bit of exercise. &“Cat Burrito&”—wrap your cat in a towel, burrito-style, which is particularly good for anxious pets or trips to the vet. The &“Boing, Boing!&”—wind pipe cleaners around a pencil in a spiral shape to create springs. Carefully slide off the pencil so the spirals go &“boing&” when pressed. The classic &“Tickle, Tickle&”—tickle Kitty under her chin and softly say &“gitchy, gitchy, gitchy&” in your highest-pitched voice. And for the cat owner willing to go the distance, the &“There&’s No Business Like Show Business&”—practice your best Ethel Merman by belting out favorite show tunes for your cat. Kitty won&’t care if you&’re off-key and she&’ll enjoy the stimulation.
The 91-Storey Treehouse (The Treehouse Books #7)
by Andy GriffithsThe 91-Storey Treehouse is the seventh book of Andy Griffiths and Terry Denton's wacky treehouse adventures, where the laugh-out-loud story is told through a combination of text and fantastic cartoon-style illustrations.Join Andy and Terry in their now 91-storey spectacular treehouse. They've added thirteen new levels, including the world's most powerful whirlpool, a mashed-potato-and-gravy train and a human pinball machine. Why not try your luck on the spin-and-win prize wheel or hang out in a giant spider web (with a giant spider), or you can always get your fortune told by Madam Know-it-all or eat a submarine sandwich the size of an actual submarine while deciding whether or not to push the big red button . . . Well, what are you waiting for? Come on up!
80: Poems by Roger McGough
by Roger McGoughThere are eighty of Roger McGough's favourite poems in this hugely enjoyable collection, gathered together into a new volume to celebrate Roger's 80th birthday! Sometimes funny, sometimes sad, but always inventive, the enormous variety of poems from this hugely popular poet will never cease to amaze and delight children of all ages.
The 7th Function of Language: A Novel
by Laurent Binet Sam Taylor'One of the funniest, most riotously inventive and enjoyable novels you’ll read this year' - ObserverRoland Barthes is knocked down in a Paris street by a laundry van. It’s February 1980 and he has just come from lunch with Francois Mitterrand. Barthes dies soon afterwards. History tells us it was an accident. But what if it were an assassination? What if Barthes was carrying a document of unbelievable, global importance? A document explaining the seventh function of language – an idea so powerful it gives whoever masters it the ability to convince anyone, in any situation, to do anything. Police Captain Jacques Bayard and his reluctant accomplice Simon Herzog set off on a chase that takes them from the corridors of power to backstreet saunas and midnight meetings. What they discover is a worldwide conspiracy involving the President, murderous Bulgarians and a secret international debating society.
The 78-Storey Treehouse: Movie Opening Night (The Treehouse Books #6)
by Andy GriffithsThe 78-Storey Treehouse is the sixth book in Andy Griffiths and Terry Denton's wacky treehouse adventures, where the laugh-out-loud story is told through a combination of text and fantastic cartoon-style illustrations.Join Andy and Terry in their spectacular new 78-storey treehouse. They've added 13 new levels including a drive-thru car wash, a combining machine, a scribbletorium, an ALL-BALL sports stadium, Andyland, Terrytown, a high-security potato chip storage facility and an open-air movie theatre. Well, what are you waiting for? Come on up!
70s Dinner Party: The Good, the Bad and the Downright Ugly of Retro Food
by Anna PallaiSpaghetti in aspic, anyone? Revel in astonishing dishes from yesteryear: Stuffed Cocktail Grapes, Savoury Sausage Salad, a spunky Shrimp-Salmon Mould and so much more.Anna Pallai was brought up on 1970s stalwarts of stuffed peppers, meatloaf and platters of slightly greying hardboiled eggs. When she rediscovered her mother's grease-stained 70s cookbooks, she knew she needed to share them with the world, and so the hit Twitter account @70s_Party was born.Harking back to a simpler pre-Instagram, pre-clean-eating era, when the only concern for your dinner party was whether your aspic would set in time, this is a joyful celebration of food that can give you gout just by looking at it. Covering all the essentials, from starters through to desserts, dinner party etiquette (just how does one start to eat a swan fashioned from a hardboiled egg?) and the dreaded ‘foreign’ food, there's no potato-fashioned-as-a-stone left unturned.
The 7-10 Split (Peach Blossom #1)
by null Karmen LeeReaders love Karmen Lee: 'The perfect cozy romance to get you out of a reading rut!'⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ It was never just a game… Ava Williams has every reason to hate Grace Jones. They were once thick as thieves and bowling rivals who pushed each other.Then they shared a kiss…and after that, nothing was ever the same. But then Grace, bowling pro and local celeb, starts teaching at the same small-town high school as Ava. And Grace is handed the school’s new bowling team that Ava’s been trying to set up for years! Now they’re expected to work together and lead the team to victory in six months. And with that, their rivalry is back…as is their undeniable attraction. So it’s just a matter of time before it explodes – one way or the other. 'Brimming with heart and humour, this second chance romance has it all.' Ashley Herring Blake, award-winning author of Delilah Green Doesn’t Perfect for fans of: Enemies to lovers 🔥 Forced proximity ❤️ Second chance romance 💔 More reader reviews for Karmen Lee: 'You won't regret picking this book, I sure as hell didn't.' ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ 'I really loved this story. Even though it was only 150 pages, it gave me everything.' ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ 'This was such a sweet love story!' ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
67 People I’d Like To Slap
by Ian Collins67 People I'd Like to Slap is one man's journey through the labyrinthine world of human angst and annoyance. The comedy writer, broadcaster and journalist Ian Collins lists, exposes and mocks that irritating contingent of the human race whose job, it seems, is to make life just a tad more infuriating than it needs to be.From psychics to exotic pet owners, Brits using chopsticks and over-35s at music festivals, through to middle-class protesters, elderly people in small cars and the billion cringe-crimes that are committed on social media every day (plus a healthy dose of well-known names too), Collins's often brutal but hilarious search into the pit of human idiocy leaves few stones unturned. He also addresses some of life's most serious questions:- Is Jeremy Clarkson part of a completely different gene pool?- What happens when you upset every Beyoncé fan on the planet?- Why is Andrew Marr's sofa an affront to intelligent thinking?- How could a nice guy like Benedict Cumberbatch annoy anyone?- Has social media shrunk our brains?- What happens to a sense of shame when men visit the gym?Part polemic and part diary, Collins spent a year documenting all those areas (and people) that could bug the hell out of the calmest of souls. Armed only with a sensible pen, notepad and a standard High Street blood pressure monitor, he sets out to create the ultimate list.In the author's words, 67 People I'd Like to Slap is the non-negotiable oracle of all things bamboozling when it comes to human behaviour - the definitive guide that no sane person could ever argue against. Or could you…?
The 65-Storey Treehouse (The Treehouse Books #5)
by Andy GriffithsThe 65-Storey Treehouse is the fifth book in Andy Griffiths and Terry Denton's wacky treehouse adventures, where the laugh-out-loud story is told through a combination of text and fantastic cartoon-style illustrations.Andy and Terry's amazing 65-Storey Treehouse now has a pet-grooming salon, a birthday room where it's always your birthday (even when it's not), a room full of exploding eyeballs, a lollipop shop, a quicksand pit, an ant farm, a time machine and Tree-NN: a 24-hour-a-day TV news centre keeping you up to date with all the latest treehouse news, current events and gossip. Well, what are you waiting for? Come on up!
The $64 Tomato: How One Man Nearly Lost His Sanity, Spent a Fortune, and Endured an Existential Crisis in the Quest for the Perfect Garden
by William AlexanderBill Alexander had no idea that his simple dream of having a vegetable garden and small orchard in his backyard would lead him into life-and-death battles with groundhogs, webworms, weeds, and weather; midnight expeditions in the dead of winter to dig up fresh thyme; and skirmishes with neighbors who feed the vermin (i.e., deer). Not to mention the vacations that had to be planned around the harvest, the near electrocution of the tree man, the limitations of his own middle-aged body, and the pity of his wife and kids. When Alexander runs (just for fun!) a costbenefit analysis, adding up everything from the live animal trap to the Velcro tomato wraps and then amortizing it over the life of his garden, it comes as quite a shock to learn that it cost him a staggering $64 to grow each one of his beloved Brandywine tomatoes. But as any gardener will tell you, you can't put a price on the unparalleled pleasures of providing fresh food for your family.
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by Katherine HeinyFrom the author of Standard Deviation comes a wryly tender story of crises and cardboard boxes; of marriage and moving on. *Includes a free extract from Katherine Heiny’s debut novel, Standard Deviation*
52 Times Britain was a Bellend: The History You Didn’t Get Taught At School
by James FeltonTwitter hero James Felton brings you the painfully funny history of Britain you were never taught at school, fully illustrated and chronicling 52 of the most ludicrous, weird and downright 'baddie' things we Brits* have done to the world since time immemorial - before conveniently forgetting all about them, of course. Including:- Starting wars with China when they didn't buy enough of our class A drugs- Inventing a law so we didn't have to return objects we'd blatantly stolen from other countries - Casually creating muzzles for women- And almost going to war over a crime committed by a pig52 TIMES BRITAIN WAS A BELLEND will complete your knowledge of this sceptred isle in ways you never expected. So if you've ever wondered how we put the 'Great' in 'Great Britain', wonder no more . . . *And when we say British, for the most part we unfortunately just mean the English.
52 Things to Learn on the Loo: Things to Teach Yourself While You Poo
by Hugh JassburnExpand your mind as you lighten your load!Make use of those dull moments on the lavatory by teaching yourself how a starfish eats a clam, how to say “Hello” in every European language and what the dot over an “i” is called. Covering all types of trivia, from science and natural history to the different types of moustache, this little book contains enough fascinating facts to keep you learning throughout the year.You will pick up impressive knowledge and remarkable wisdom such as:The capital cities of every countryThe major bones in the human bodyThe longest word you can spell using only the top row of letters on a keyboardThe inventor of sticky tapeThe world’s oceans and seasHow bees make honeyAnd much, much more. A superb addition to anyone’s bathroom library, this book could help you win at your next quiz or at least give you a bunch of fun facts to spout when you’re out and about.“Taking a dump just got a lot more interesting”Crapping Quarterly
52 Things to Do While You Poo: The 1980s Edition
by Hugh JassburnFrom the bestselling author of 52 Things to Do While You Poo, this nostalgic mix of trivia and puzzles will bring back the awesome appeal of the EightiesIf you grew up in the 1980s, you know that nothing compares to the music, fashion, toys, TV, films and sheer feel of that decade. But how much can you really remember?When you next take a trip to the toilet, this colourful collection of puzzles, activities and trivia will serve as a leisurely stroll down memory lane, dusting off half-remembered facts and even filling in a few gaps.From bestselling author and fiendish brain-teaser Hugh Jassburn, this illustrated celebration of history’s finest decade includes the following challenges and more:Help Arnie navigate through a jungle maze to get to the chopperMatch hit songs to the year they came outSolve trivia questions relating to Madonna and the TV show DallasTrack down the names of iconic world leaders in a word searchSpot the differences in a sea of Rubik’s cubes52 Things to Do While You Poo: The 1980s Edition is the perfect gift for those who lived through these glory days – or those who just wish they had.