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Bad Mermaids
by Sibéal Pounder Jason CockcroftMermaids Beattie, Mimi and Zelda are enjoying a summer on land with legs when they receive a strange CRABAGRAM ordering them to return home at once. Some seriously BAD MERMAIDS are on the loose and the girls are the only ones who can stop them. If they're going to save the day, they'll need answers. And a clam car. Definitely piranha-print nail polish. Possibly not the talking seahorse.CAN THEY DO IT?Filled with magical mysteries, fabulous fashion, and a serious piranha problem, Bad Mermaids brings a whole new twist to the underwater world of mermaids. If you enjoyed The Little Mermaid, you'll love this too!
Bad News: Hilarious Typos, Marvellous Misprints and Epic Headline Fails
by Richard Benson'The away team were prevented from making a final strike due to a well-timed tickle' Laugh out loud at this selection of the funniest faux pas, silliest slips and most blatant bloopers that ever made it into print (and some that didn’t), from newspaper headlines to menus, and from small ads to social media. You’ll be checking everything you type after reading this!
The Bagthorpe Saga: Being The First Part Of The Bagthorpe Saga (Collins Modern Classics #No.1)
by Helen CresswellFirst in the super-funny classic series The Bagthorpe Saga, starring the TOTALLY unforgettable Bagthorpe family – from best-loved author Helen Cresswell.
Baking with Kafka
by Tom GauldIn Baking with Kafka, Tom Gauld asks the questions no one else dares ask about civilisation as we know it. - How do you get published during a skeleton apocalypse? - What was the secret of Kafka's lemon drizzle cake? - And what plot possibilities does the exploding e-cigarette offer modern mystery writers? A riotous collection of laugh-out-loud cartoons in his signature style, Baking with Kafka reaffirms Gauld's position as a first-rate cartoonist, creating work infused with a deep understanding of both literary and cartoon history.
BANANAGRAMS® Secrets: The Insider Secrets To Help You Become Top Banana! (Collins Little Books)
by Collins Dictionaries Deej JohnsonDiscover the secret hints, tips and winning ways of the BANANAGRAMS® bunch! This little book contains the insider secrets to help you become Top Banana …
Barry Loser and the birthday billions (The Barry Loser Series #8)
by Jim SmithThe eighth book in the brilliant Roald Dahl Funny Prize winning BARRY LOSER series. Perfect for readers aged 7-10 years old and fans of Diary of a Wimpy Kid, Tom Gates, Dennis the Menace and Pamela Butchart's Wigglesbottom Primary series.
Barry Loser and the birthday billions (The Barry Loser Series #8)
by Jim SmithThe eighth book in the brilliant Roald Dahl Funny Prize winning BARRY LOSER series. Perfect for readers aged 7-10 years old and fans of Diary of a Wimpy Kid, Tom Gates, Dennis the Menace and Pamela Butchart's Wigglesbottom Primary series.
The Bastard Billionaire (Billionaire Bad Boys #3)
by Jessica LemmonA BILLIONAIRE BAD BOYS NOVELBeauty and the Beastly Billionaire . . . Eli Crane is one tough bastard. After an explosion left him injured and honorably discharged from the Marines, all he wants is to be left alone. Yet his brothers insist he take a greater role in the family business. They've hired him ten personal assistants-and Eli sent each one packing as fast as possible. But when beautiful number eleven walks through the door, Eli will do anything to make her stay.Isabella Sawyer's employment agency can't afford to lose Eli Crane's business. Her plan: to personally take on the role of his PA, and secure her reputation with the wealthy elite in Chicago. But this beauty and her hot billionaire bad boy soon find themselves mixing business with pleasure in the most delicious ways. And passionate, stubborn Isabella won't rest until she tames this wicked beast . . .
Bathroom Boogie (Kitchen Disco)
by Clare FogesThe tiles become a dancefloorThe light a disco ball It's called the bathroom boogie -The most splashy bash of all!When the children go to school and the adults go to work . . . the Bathroom Boogie starts up - and all your favourite bathroom friends come alive! The shower creates a rain dance, whilst the mouthwash back-flips and the toothbrushes bop and rave to the hot tap's funky beat! Bathroom Boogie is the zany and hilarious rhyming picture book sequel to Kitchen Disco, with trademark cool artwork from Al Murphy.'Children will love the snappy rhymes and exuberant illustrations.' Telegraph'A cracking comical story for young children, for whom bath time will never be the same again.' BookTrust
BBC Radio 4 Brain of Britain Ultimate Quiz Book
by Russell DaviesPit your wits against some of the brightest minds in Britain by taking up the challenge of this ultimate quiz of 2000 questions from the Brain of Britain archives.
The Beast
by Alexander StarrittJeremy Underwood is a long-suffering subeditor on The Daily Beast, Britain's mightiest tabloid. Returning from holiday, he notices two burqa-clad figures lurking outside the paper's Kensington offices. Two male terrorism suspects have escaped from a mosque disguised as women; recently suspicion and fear have made everyone alert. Jeremy's casual observation sets off a chain of events that spins out of control, as the great Beast feels that it is the next target of terrorism. Alexander Starritt's darkly funny novel is a vivid anatomy of that most uncontrollable of large creatures, the British tabloid newspaper. The ferocious professionalism and manic rivalries of a newsroom have rarely been so well described. And at the heart of the newsroom is the brooding, dictatorial figure of its editor, Charles Brython, the booming voice of Middle England. His world is under threat, and he will do whatever it takes to defend it. This is a story in which comedy teeters on the edge of horror.
The Beautician and the Beast (Hopscotch: Twisty Tales #30)
by Karyn GormanA twist on the classic tale, Beauty and the Beast. Belle is the most amazing beautician in the land. From lopping Rapunzel's locks to beautifying Cinderella for the royal ball, no job is too tough. But when the unruly Beast refuses to have his overgrowing hair tamed, there is trouble! It grows so out of control it starts to block out the sun. Can Belle work her magic, even on the most difficult of customers? Hopscotch Twisty Tales combine carefully controlled text levels and word counts with highly entertaining and original stories, perfect for children aged 5-7 starting to read independently.
A Beginner's Guide to Bearspotting
by Michelle Robinson David RobertsBearspotting is a dangerous business – you ought to take it seriously, you know. So here's what you need to know for starters – black bears are dangerous and black, brown bears are dangerous and brown. Although sometimes black bears can be a little brown, and brown bears can be a little black. Are you following? You really need to focus here. If you do, this guide will tell you all you need to know when walking in BEAR COUNTRY. Don't leave home without it. Are you ready? Good! Let's go ... A Beginner's Guide to Bearspotting is the laugh-out-loud, essential guide for all would-be bearspotters. To be studied with due care and attention. Don't say we didn't warn you ...This eBook comes with a gloriously entertaining audio accompaniment, read by the award-winning actor Lenny Henry.
Believe Me: A Memoir of Love, Death and Jazz Chickens
by Eddie IzzardAs heard on BBC Radio Four - Book of the Week . . . A memoir of love, death and jazz chickens, Eddie Izzard's fabulous Believe Me is his ONE AND ONLY AUTOBIOGRAPHY . . .-----------------------------'I know why I'm doing all this,' I said. 'Everything I do in life is trying to get her back. I think if I do enough things . . . that maybe she'll come back.'When Eddie Izzard was six, he and his brother Mark lost their mother. That day, he lost his childhood too. Despite or perhaps because of this, he has always felt he needed to take on things that some people would consider impossible. In Believe Me, Eddie takes us on a journey which begins in Yemen (before the revolution), then takes us to Northern Ireland (before The Troubles), England and Wales, then across the seas to Europe and America. In a story jam-packed with incident he tells of teddy bear shows on boarding school beds, renouncing accountancy for swordfighting on the streets of London and making those first tentative steps towards becoming an Action Transvestite, touring France in French and playing the Hollywood Bowl. Above all, this is a tale about someone who has always done everything his own way (which often didn't work at first) and, sometimes almost by accident but always with grit and determination, achieving what he set out to do. Brimming with the surreal humour and disarming candor of his shows (with occasional digressions), Believe Me tells the story of a little boy who lost his mother yet who has risen to become a star of comedy and drama, a leading advocate of total clothing rights, a British European and extreme runner of marathons, who bestrides the world stage as a world stage bestrider.'King of the Universe . . . Comic genius . . . Entertainment incarnate' Telegraph
Best Laid Plans
by Kathy LetteTO DO LIST1) Buy hummus2) Pay Pilates teacher3) Find prostitute for son...When it comes to sex, even the best laid plans come unstuck – in the stickiest way possibleAs a crossword-addicted English teacher, Lucy never expected to be arrested for kerb-crawling. But her autistic twenty-year-old son Merlin is desperate to lose his virginity, and a prostitute seems like the only option . . . only Lucy picks up an undercover policewoman instead.Let off with a suspended sentence, Lucy resigns herself to the fact that her son will never have sex, let alone find love… until the morning she miraculously discovers Merlin in bed with a girl.But is tough, tattooed Kayleigh just taking Merlin for a ride? If so, why? And what has brought Lucy’s snake of an ex-husband wriggling back into their lives?As all her best laid plans for Merlin’s happiness chaotically unravel, will Lucy ever be able to cut her son’s psychological umbilical cord and start to live her own life? And will the funny, quirky and marvellously magical Merlin ever find real love?With plenty of comic twists and emotional turns, Kathy Lette’s riotous yet heartrending novel tackles the taboo subject of sex for the ‘differently abled’ – and shows us that when it comes to sex, we all have special needs …
Best Laid Plans
by Kathy LetteTO DO LIST1) Buy hummus2) Pay Pilates teacher3) Find prostitute for son...When it comes to sex, even the best laid plans come unstuck – in the stickiest way possibleAs a crossword-addicted English teacher, Lucy never expected to be arrested for kerb-crawling. But her autistic twenty-year-old son Merlin is desperate to lose his virginity, and a prostitute seems like the only option . . . only Lucy picks up an undercover policewoman instead.Let off with a suspended sentence, Lucy resigns herself to the fact that her son will never have sex, let alone find love… until the morning she miraculously discovers Merlin in bed with a girl.But is tough, tattooed Kayleigh just taking Merlin for a ride? If so, why? And what has brought Lucy’s snake of an ex-husband wriggling back into their lives?As all her best laid plans for Merlin’s happiness chaotically unravel, will Lucy ever be able to cut her son’s psychological umbilical cord and start to live her own life? And will the funny, quirky and marvellously magical Merlin ever find real love?With plenty of comic twists and emotional turns, Kathy Lette’s riotous yet heartrending novel tackles the taboo subject of sex for the ‘differently abled’ – and shows us that when it comes to sex, we all have special needs …
The Best Little Christmas Shop
by Maxine MorreyFrom the bestselling author of A Winter’s Fairytale and The Christmas Project Come home for Christmas to the Best Little Christmas Shop – the snowiest, cosiest place you can be! Perfect for fans of Sarah Morgan and Sue Moorcroft
The Best of Adam Sharp
by Graeme SimsionTHE NEW ROMANTIC COMEDY FROM THE BESTSELLING AUTHOR OF THE ROSIE PROJECT.Will he risk it all for a second chance at first love?'After twenty-two years without any contact at all, Angelina Brown, my Great Lost Love, decides to change the world and emails Hi . . .'Adam Sharp met the love of his life on the other side of the world. He was playing in a bar in Australia when Angelina requested a song. It was the start of a relationship he's never forgotten - but not every duet ends on a high note.Two decades later and half a world away, Adam is stunned by Angelina's message. He thought he was happy. He thought he had everything. Now all he can think about is her.Adam has sung about second chances - but does he believe in them? And is he prepared to risk everything to find out if they ever come true?'A very enjoyable read. Highly recommended' Closer'With very real characters, an engaging plot and plenty of wit, this is a joy' Heat'We love The Rosie Project author Graeme Simsion's The Best of Adam Sharp' Sun on Sunday
The Best of Matt 2017: Our world today - brilliantly funny cartoons
by Matt PritchettAlways look on the bright side - the genius that is Matt proves that, no matter what is happening in the world Matt's superb cartoons can always raise a smile.THE BEST OF MATT is a wonderfully funny look at the last twelve months - from President Trump to train strikes, the confusion that is Brexit to the vagaries of the British weather - this collection manages to make looking back a much funnier pastime.A Christmas must - this year, and every year.
The Best Thing That Can Happen to a Man Is to Get Lost
by Alain Gillot“Captivating and entertaining.”—Sololibri “Alan Gillot tells the universal story of a new beginning.”—La Repubblica “A novel that shows how when life comes knocking, it cannot be ignored.”—ThrillerNord Antoine is a script doctor: a high-flying consultant hired to cut the script of a movie before it’s green-lighted. Called to a film set on the Côte d'Azur, he casually cancels the role young hopeful Emma was cast in. When she confronts him, her words – and actions – impart a few home-truths. Antoine chases after Emma to apologise. Little does he know that from then on, he won’t be able to return to his old colourless life. At Emma’s side, Antoine embarks on an unexpected journey through a provincial France he’s never seen before, right into the bizarre, exciting world of her eccentric family and the itinerant theatre company she belongs to. A love story and a road movie, this charming tale proclaims the need to overcome our fears and reach out to others.
The Big Bad Mood
by Tom Jamieson Olga DemidovaGeorge is having One of Those Days. One of Those Days where he shouts, 'I WILL NOT play nicely. I WON'T ... I CAN'T ... I DON'T WANT TO!!' George's mum says there's a Big Bad Mood hanging around him, but George has never seen a Big Bad Mood. That is, until today ... A gloriously clever tale about tempers, tantrums and making amends. For fans of My Big Shouting Day but Rebecca Patterson.
The Big Book of Riddles
by Lisa ReganThere are two in a corner, but only one in a room; there is one in an apartment and one in a shelter, but none in a mansion. What is it?The letter 'r'.This fantastically funny book features over 800 clever, funny and tricky riddles including brain teasers, logic puzzles, tongue-twisters, silly puns and many more! These tough riddles will stretch young readers' imaginations, and help them to think outside the box. Humorous cartoon illustrations accompany the riddles, giving the books and fun and playful look. Perfect for kids aged 8+.
The Big Dreams Beach Hotel (The Lilly Bartlett Cosy Romance Collection #3)
by Michele Gorman Lilly BartlettWriggle your toes in the sand and feel the warm breeze on your face when you check into the hotel that’s full of dreams… ‘The happy plot is charming… very entertaining’ Publisher's Weekly
The Big Little Festival (Rabbit’s Leap #2)
by Kellie Hailes‘The perfect book for the summer!’ – Karen Whittard (NetGalley Reviewer) Love happens when you least expect it…