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Daisy and the Trouble with Life: Book And (Daisy Fiction #1)
by Nick Sharratt Garry Parsons Kes GrayThe trouble with life is it's SOOOOOOOOO unfair. Daisy's been grounded. No HOPPING or SKIPPING, FLYING or PARACHUTING. She's lucky she's even been allowed out of her bedroom after what she's done. But what HAS she done that is SOOOOOOOOOOO naughty? You'll have to read the book to find out!
We: Introduction by Will Self (Momentum Classics Ser.)
by Yevgeny Zamyatin Will Self Natasha RandallWITH AN INTRODUCTION BY WILL SELFThe citizens of the One State live in a condition of 'mathematically infallible happiness'. D-503 decides to keep a diary of his days working for the collective good in this clean, blue city state where nature, privacy and individual liberty have been eradicated. But over the course of his journal D-503 suddenly finds himself caught up in unthinkable and illegal activities - love and rebellion.Banned on its publication in Russia in1921, We is the first modern dystopian novel and a satire on state control that has once again become chillingly relevant.
Where Did It All Go Right?: Growing Up Normal in the 70s
by Andrew CollinsAndrew Collins was born 37 years ago in Northampton. His parents never split up, in fact they rarely exchanged a cross word. No-one abused him. Nobody died. He got on well with his brother and sister and none of his friends drowned in a canal. He has never stayed overnight in a hospital and has no emotional scars from his upbringing, except a slight lingering resentment that Anita Barker once mocked the stabilisers on his bike. Where Did It All Go Right? is a jealous memoir written by someone who occasionally wishes life had dealt him a few more juicy marketable blows. The author delves back into his first 18 years in search of something - anything - that might have left him deeply and irreparably damaged. With tales of bikes, telly, sweets, good health, domestic harmony and happy holidays, Andrew aims to bring a little hope to all those out there living with the emotional after-effects of a really nice childhood. Andrew Collins kept a diary from the age of five, so he really can remember what he had for tea everyday and what he did at school, excerpts from his diary run throughout the book and it is this detail which makes his story so compelling.
Dr Fischer Of Geneva
by Graham GreeneDoctor Fischer despises the human race. When the notorious toothpaste millionaire decides to hold the last of his famous parties - his own deadly version of the Book of Revelations - Greene opens up a powerful vision of the limitless greed of the rich. Black comedy and painful satire combine in a totally compelling novel.
Things Can Only Get Better
by John O'FarrellLike bubonic plague and stone cladding, no-one took Margaret Thatcher seriously until it was too late. Her first act as leader was to appear before the cameras and do a V for Victory sign the wrong way round. She was smiling and telling the British people to f*** off at the same time. It was something we would have to get used to.'Things Can Only Get Better is the personal account of a Labour supporter who survived eighteen miserable years of Conservative government. It is the heartbreaking and hilarious confessions of someone who has been actively involved in helping the Labour party lose elections at every level: school candidate: door-to-door canvasser: working for a Labour MP in the House of Commons; standing as a council candidate; and eventually writing jokes for a shadow cabinet minister.Along the way he slowly came to realise that Michael Foot would never be Prime Minister, that vegetable quiche was not as tasty as chicken tikki masala and that the nuclear arms race was never going to be stopped by face painting alone.
Do Not Pass Go: From The Old Kent Road To Mayfair
by Tim MooreA book that tells the story of London since the thirties through the 28 streets, stations and utililties of the Monopoly board. In the wonderful world of Monopoly it still only cost -50 to buy a house in Islington, you can move around London with the shake of a dice and even park your car for free. In Do Not Pass Go Tim Moore, belying his reputation as a player who always paid that -10 fine rather than take a Chance, fearlessly tackles the real thing and along the way tells the story of a game and the city that frames it. Sampling the rags and the riches he stays in a hotel in Mayfair and one in the Old Kent Road, enjoys quality time with Dr Crippen in Pentonville Prison and even winds up at the wrong end of the Water Works pipe. And, solving all the mysteries you'll have pondered whilst languishing in jail and many other you certainly wouldn't, Tim Moore reveals how Pall Mall got its name, which three addresses you won't find in your A-Z and why the sorry cul-de-sac that is Vine Street has a special place in the heart of Britain's most successful Monopoly champion. The stirring travelogue of one man's erratic progress around those 28 streets, stations and utilities, Do Not Pass Go is also an epic and lovingly researched history of London's wayward progress in the 66 years since the launch of the world's most popular board game
Middle School: (Middle School 1) (Middle School #1)
by James PattersonRafe Khatchadorian is getting the Hollywood treatment in a film version of Middle School: The Worst Years of My Life starring Griffin Gluck, Lauren Graham, Rob Riggle and Thomas Barbusca.Rafe Khatchadorian has enough problems at home without throwing his first year of middle school into the mix. Luckily, he's got an ace plan for the best year ever, if he can pull it off. With his best friend Leonardo the Silent awarding him points, Rafe tries to break every rule in his school's oppressive Code of Conduct. Chewing gum in class - 5,000 points! Running in the hallway - 10,000 points! Pulling the fire alarm - 50,000 points! But when Rafe's game starts to catch up with him, he'll have to decide if winning is all that matters, or if he's finally ready to face the rules, bullies, and truths he's been avoiding.
Global Village Idiot
by John O'Farrell'This week the first pet passports came into effect. Around the country dogs have been hopping into photo booths and trying to look as relaxed as possible, which is not easy when you know you're not allowed on the chair.'Gathered here are the best of John O'Farrell's newspaper columns for the Guardian and the Independent which saw him win the coveted Best Columnist of the Year Award at the prestigious British Liars Awards. Among many other things, he claims that the only conviction in the Tory Party will be when Jeffrey Archer gets sent to prison; that scientists have created a genetically superior monkey which will advertise lapsang souchong instead of PG Tips; and that with the election of George W. Bush, the global village has finally got its own global village idiot.
The Good, The Bad and The Multiplex: What's Wrong With Modern Movies?
by Mark KermodeIf blockbusters make money no matter how bad they are, then why not make a good one for a change?How can 3-D be the future of cinema when it's been giving audiences a headache for over a hundred years? Why pay to watch films in cinemas that don't have a projectionist but do have a fast-food stand? And, in a world where Sex and the City 2 was a hit, what are film critics even for? Outspoken, opinionated and hilariously funny, The Good, The Bad and The Multiplex is a must for anyone who has ever sat in an undermanned, overpriced cinema and wondered: 'How the hell did things get to be this terrible?'
Nerd Do Well: A Small Boy's Journey To Becoming A Big Kid
by Simon PeggZombies in North London, death cults in the West Country, the engineering deck of the Enterprise: Simon Pegg has been ploughing some bizarre furrows in recent times. Having blasted onto the small screens with his now legendary sitcom Spaced, his rise to nation's favourite son status has been mercurial, meteoric, megatronnic, but mostly just plain great.From his childhood (and subsequently adult) obsession with Star Wars, his often passionate friendship with Nick Frost, and his forays into stand-up which began with his regular Monday morning slot in front of his 12-year-old classmates, this is a joyous tale of a homegrown superstar and a local boy made good.
Dodger
by Terry PratchettDodger is a tosher – a sewer scavenger living in the squalor of Dickensian London.Everyone who is nobody knows Dodger. Anyone who is anybody doesn’t.But when he rescues a young girl from a beating, suddenly everybody wants to know him.And Dodger’s tale of skulduggery, dark plans and even darker deeds begins . . .
The Doings of Hamish and Dougal: You'll Have Had Your Tea?
by Barry Cryer Graeme GardenHello there! You'll have had your tea? Dougal here. Well, here we go, with our wee book. It's a collection or pot pourri (I've no idea what Hamish means by that - it sounds like something to do with the Pope) of our activities or 'doings' in the village we call home, because that's exactly what it is.Together with our housekeeper, Mrs Naughtie, and of course, the Laird who lives up at the big hoose and shoots grouse and other bottles of whisky, these are the actual scripts of our wee show which we performed on the wireless, when most of you were probably in bed! Hamish and I have known each other all our lives - well, not yet, obviously! We have a very close relationship and also with each other. Mrs Naughtie been with us since we first met her at the Krankie Arms, where she was working as part-time barmaid and bouncer.In addition to the scripts you'll find all kinds of other things tucked away under its kilt. There's a hectic social life in the village. You'll visit the 'bide a wee' café, proud possessor of three Michelin tyres. You'll have a conducted tour of the big hoose by Big Tam, our local guide (not during opening hours). You'll marvel at the site of the Battle of Auchtermuchty, now allotments. You'll peek into the Laird's social diary in 'oot and aboot' (40p at the post office). And a great deal more.Well, I hope this wee note will make you hurry to the till and spend the terrible amount of money these wee books cost these days. But then again this particular wee book is Scotland's answer to Richard and Judy! Hurrah!Away now ...
Daisy: 006 And A Bit (Daisy Picture Books #5)
by Kes GrayDaisy is back and this time she's not just Daisy, she's 006 and a Bit, spy extraordinaire. With her black felt-tip moustache, dark glasses, secret spy gadgets and special spy code, she's poised and ready for action. There's just one problem, nobody can understand a word she's saying! Mrs Pike the neighbour, Tiptoes the cat and even Gabby, Daisy's best friend, are all baffled by her spy language. Poor 006 and a Bit is about to abandon her mission when a mysterious stranger with a blue moustache and purple beard deep pokes his head around the door . . .
That's So Gross!: Animals (That's So Gross! #5)
by Mitchell SymonsIT'S A JUNGLE OUT THERE...Arm yourself with the answers to top trivia such as:Why are porcupines so pongy?Why do angry monkeys fling their poo at each other?Why do ostriches pee on their own legs?Includes cool collector cards to swap with your mates.
My Big Shouting Day
by Rebecca PattersonWINNER OF THE ROALD DAHL FUNNY PRIZE 2012"Today I woke up and Bob was crawling around MY ROOM, licking MY JEWELLERY, so I shouted GET OUT OF MY ROOM! and that was the start of MY BIG SHOUTING DAY..."Bella is having one of those days - her biscuit is broken, she has a hurting foot and ballet is TOOOO itchy for words. All she can do is shout! But by the end of the day, when she's all tired out from being shouty, Bella knows there's one magic word and one magic mummy to make things better again...
On Your Farts, Get Set, Go! (Mitchell Symons' Trivia Books #8)
by Mitchell SymonsMitchell Symons has stats and stories to entertain and amaze you!Did the Olympians really compete in the buff?Which striker's shorts fell down when he was taking a penalty?Which sport consists of running while juggling?Which football team's fanzine is called Linesman, You're Rubbish?
The Second Coming
by John NivenGod takes a look at the Earth around the time of the Renaissance and everything looks pretty good – so he takes a holiday. In Heaven-time this is just a week’s fishing trip, but on Earth several hundred years go by. When God returns, he finds all hell has broken loose: world wars, holocausts, famine, capitalism and ‘fucking Christians everywhere’. There’s only one thing for it. They’re sending the kid back. JC, reborn, is a struggling musician in New York City, trying to teach the one true commandment: Be Nice! His best chance to win hearts and minds is to enter American Pop Star. But the number one show in America is the unholy creation of a record executive who’s more than a match for the Son of God ... Steven Stelfox.
Different Class: A Novel
by Joanne HarrisThe gripping new psychological thriller from Joanne Harris, to follow her bestselling Gentlemen & Players and Blueeyedboy. Perfect for fans of Claire Mackintosh, BA Paris, Paula Hawkins and Tracy Chevalier. ‘Crime novel or literary novel? Categories really don’t matter; readers will find themselves comprehensively gripped.’ Independent 'A cracking psychological thriller' Good HousekeepingAfter thirty years at St Oswald’s Grammar in North Yorkshire, Latin master Roy Straitley has seen all kinds of boys come and go – the clowns, the rebels, the underdogs, and those he calls his Brodie boys. But every so often there’s a boy who doesn’t fit the mould. A troublemaker. A boy capable of twisting everything around him. A boy with hidden shadows inside.With insolvency and academic failure looming, a new broom has arrived at the venerable school, bringing Powerpoint, sharp suits and even sixth form girls to the dusty corridors. But while Straitley does his sardonic best to resist this march to the future, a shadow from his past is stirring. A boy who even twenty years on haunts his teacher’s dreams. A boy capable of bad things.
Bella: a deliciously upbeat and laugh-out-loud romance from the inimitable multimillion-copy bestselling Jilly Cooper
by Jilly Cooper OBEFall in love with Jilly Cooper, one of Britain's most popular authors, in this upbeat and hilarious rom-com. Fans of Jojo Moyes, Marian Keyes, Dolly Alderton and Jane Fallon will love this perfect cocktail of love, passion, intrigue and suspense...'Jilly is about bringing joy into your life: daft, silly, boozy joy ... There is no one else like Cooper' -- Guardian'The Jane Austen of our time' - HARPERS & QUEEN'Unputdownable' -- Marian Keyes'The funniest and sharpest writer there is' -- Jenny Colgan'Flawlessly entertaining' -- Helen Fielding'Pure entertainment and a thoroughly enjoyable read' -- ***** Reader review'An absolute must!' -- ***** Reader review'Love it this book so much!' -- ***** Reader review****************************************************************There was no doubt Bella Parkinson was a success: the most promising actress in London, bright, sexy - and hopelessly scatterbrained - she was taking the town by storm.Rupert Henriques, dashingly handsome and wealthy enough to buy her every theatre in London if she wanted it, couldn't wait to marry her . . .But Bella had a secret in her past - and the one man who knew it was about to come into her life again. Worse, Rupert's sinister cousin Lazlo, for some reason of his own, was trying to prevent her marriage.Before she knew where she was, Bella found herself in real danger . . .
Class (Mandarin Humour Ser.)
by Jilly Cooper ObeCLASS IS DEAD!Or so everyone claims. Who better to refute this than Jilly Cooper!Describing herself as 'upper middle class', Jilly claims that snobbery is very much alive and thriving! Meet her hilarious characters! People like Harry Stow-Crat, Mr and Mrs Nouveau-Richards, Samantha and Gideon Upward, and Jen Teale and her husband Brian. Roar with laughter at her horribly unfair observations on their everyday pretensions - their sexual courtships, choice of furnishings, clothes, education, food, careers and ambitions...For they will all remind you of people that you know!
Emily: the light-hearted, hilarious and gorgeous novel from the inimitable multimillion-copy bestselling Jilly Cooper
by Jilly Cooper OBEFall in love with Jilly Cooper, one of Britain's most popular authors, in this upbeat and unputdownable rom-com. Full of irresistible romance and laugh-out-loud moments, this is perfect for fans of Jojo Moyes, Marian Keyes, Dolly Alderton and Jane Fallon.'Jilly is about bringing joy into your life: daft, silly, boozy joy ... There is no one else like Cooper' -- Guardian'The Jane Austen of our time' -- HARPERS & QUEEN'A rollicking good read' -- ***** Reader review'An absolute pleasure to read' -- ***** Reader review'A quick feel good when you feel those Sunday blues!' -- ***** Reader review'Really loved this book, it just flowed along, its twists enthralled me, especially the ending - it was not what I expecting, well done Jilly' -- ***** Reader review*********************************************************************If Emily hadn't gone to Annie Richmond's party, she would never have met the impossibly irresistible Rory Balniel; would never have married him and been carried off to the wild Scottish island of Irasa to live in his ancestral home along with his eccentric mother, Coco, and the dog, Walter Scott.She'd never have met the wild and mysterious Marina, a wraith from Rory's past, nor her brother, the disagreeable Finn Maclean; never have spent a night in a haunted highland castle, or been caught stealing roses in a see-through nightie...Yes, it all started at Annie Richmond's party.
Harriet: a story of love, heartbreak and humour set in the Yorkshire country from the inimitable multimillion-copy bestselling Jilly Cooper
by Jilly Cooper OBEThe light-hearted, hilarious and gorgeous novel centring on the trials of the bashful but beautiful Harriet. Find out why Jilly Cooper is one of Britain most beloved authors...'No one else can make me laugh and cry quite like Jilly Cooper.' - GILL SIMS'The funniest and sharpest writer there is.' - JENNY COLGAN'The Jane Austen of our time' - HARPERSFurther praise for Jilly Cooper:'Joyful and mischievous' Jojo Moyes'Fun, sexy and unputdownable' Marian Keyes'Flawlessly entertaining' Helen Fielding********************************************************************Shy, dreamy, and incurably romantic, Harriet Poole was shattered when her brief affair with Simon Villiers, the dashing Oxford undergraduate, ended abruptly, leaving her penniless, alone and pregnant.Still hopelessly in love with Simon, she took baby William and buried herself in deepest Yorkshire as nanny to the children of Cory Erskine, a somewhat eccentric scriptwriter.Local tongues were just beginning to wag when a whole host of visitors began to arrive to disrupt Harriet's peaceful routine: first Cory's estranged wife Noel, hellbent on winning Cory back, then Cory's glamorous brother Kit, whose old affair with Noel didn't stop him making passes at Harriet.Finally, of all people, Simon...
How to Survive Christmas: An Xmasochist's Guide To The Darkest Days Of The Year
by Jilly Cooper ObeChristmas is looming. Will your mother-in-law present you with yet another hideous jersey this year? How are you going to cope with Granny's peke or the undesirable in-laws? Has the row about where to spend the holiday already started, and it's only August?Jilly Cooper has the answer to everything. Whether you should seek refuge in the cooking sherry or suggest a wholesome family walk, Jilly offers, in her own irrepressible style, sound but often hilarious advice about how to get through the roller-coaster ride we call Christmas.With the help of the perfect Christmas family - Scarlett O'Aga, the Xmasochistic housewife, her wayward husband Noel, his seductive mistress Ms Stress, their four delightful children Holly, Robin, Carol and Nicholas, and their dog Difficult Patch, we learn how to survive this most demanding of occasions.
Imogen: the deliciously funny and upbeat novel from the inimitable multimillion-copy bestselling Jilly Cooper
by Jilly Cooper OBEFall in love with Jilly Cooper, one of Britain's most popular authors, in this delightfully light-hearted page-turner of a rom-com. Fans of Jojo Moyes, Marian Keyes, Dolly Alderton and Jane Fallon will simply adore this hilarious read, full of unforgettable characters and pure laugh-out-loud moments...'Joyful and mischievous' -- Jojo Moyes'Fun, sexy and unputdownable' -- Marian Keyes'A delight from start to finish' -- Daily Mail'Escape into an alternative universe in which all is right with the world' -- Guardian'Delightful' -- ***** Reader review'This is in my top 5 reads of all time' -- ***** Reader review'Once you start reading find it hard to put down' -- ***** Reader review'Absolutely brilliant, a book not to be put down until THE END!!' -- ***** Reader review*************************************************************As a librarian, Imogen read a lot of books, but none of them covered what she was to experience on the Riviera.Her holiday with tennis ace, Nicky, and the whole glamorous coterie surrounding Nicky, was a revelation - and so, ultimately, was she. A wild Yorkshire rose among the thorny model girls, Cable and Yvonne, with a rare asset that they'd mislaid years ago...But the path of a jet-set virgin in that lovely, wicked world was a hard one.Imogen began to wonder if virtue really was its own reward...
Lisa and Co: a witty and whimsical collection of short stories from the inimitable multimillion-copy bestselling Jilly Cooper (The\jilly Cooper Collection)
by Jilly Cooper OBEFall in love with Jilly Cooper, one of Britain's most popular authors, in this wonderful collection of upbeat and hilarious short stories. Fans of Jojo Moyes, Marian Keyes, Dolly Alderton and Jane Fallon will love this perfect dose of escapism - guaranteed to have you laughing out loud!'The Jane Austen of our time' -- Harpers and Queen'I've read this book before and it never fails to delight me' -- ***** Reader review'Love it' -- ***** Reader review'Utterly fabulous' -- ***** Reader review'Charming' -- ***** Reader review'A real treat from start to finish' -- ***** Reader review**************************************************************************************From an author who has endeared herself to millions of readers and bewitched them all, comes a sparkling collection of love stories that are both moving and funny.As well as Lisa, we meet Hester, Julia, Helen and Caroline, and a host of other devastating girls, falling in and out of love, finding, losing (and often finding again sometimes in the most unexpected places) the men of their dreams.Lisa & Co could only have been written by the unique Jilly Cooper.