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How to Tame a Human Tornado
by Paul TobinFriday the thirteenth was totally normal. By 'normal', I mean that my good-for-nothing brother was absolutely not turned into a zebra while I was being suffocated by a million frogs. There were no levitation pills, time-freezing guns or robot octopuses, and I certainly didn't turn my classmate into a human tornado that destroyed most of the town. That would be preposterous. No, it was just another 'normal' day with my best friend Nate – who just happens to be a genius.
Being a Princess is Very Hard Work
by Sarah KilBride Ada GreyBeing a princess is very hard work, there's so much to do it would drive you berserk!Have you ever wondered what it takes to be a REAL princess? How many thrones you need to sit on and how many hands you have to shake? Not to mention how many frogs you're supposed to kiss ... ?! BLEURGH. Perhaps being a regular girl is better after all ...A hilarious feel-good story for all would-be princesses to help teach them they are perfect just as they are. From the author of the bestselling Princess Evie's Ponies series, and illustrator of the bestselling Royal Baby series.
The Songs
by Charles EltonFrom the bestselling author of Mr Toppit, a Richard & Judy Book Club pick, comes a riotous, darkly comic story of siblings searching for the truth about their musician father – for fans of The Rosie Project, The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry and The HumansMy brother Huddie said that we must be in the very small percentile of people who had a mother who fell out of the same window twice. Even dogs don't do that: they learn from experience. Iz Herzl, renowned political activist and protest singer, has always said that you should concentrate on the future, not the past. Now aged eighty, a reclusive figure holed up in Muswell Hill, Iz's refusal to reflect on his life leaves his teenage children, maths wunderkind Rose and her dying brother Huddie, adrift in myth anduncertainty.Iz doesn't talk about his other child, Joseph, a West End songwriter whom Rose and Huddie have never met. Joseph's single, disastrous encounter with his father many years earlier set him on a violent path to self destruction. Now he tries to impose order on his chaotic world with rhyme, transforming traumatic events into song.As the scattered children of Iz Herzl begin to converge, the ambiguities at the heart of their father's life start to surface in a way that will change them all. The Songs is a bittersweet tale of family, fame and ambition that is both darkly comic and deeply affecting.
Party Girls Die in Pearls: An Oxford Girl Mystery (An Oxford Girl Mystery)
by Plum SykesBrideshead, bon-bons, cucumber sandwiches – and now a murderIn the decadent world of Oxford University, c.1985, Pimms, punting and ball gowns are de rigeur. Ursula Flowerbutton, a studious country girl, arrives for her first term, anticipating nothing more sinister than days spent poring over history books – and, perhaps, an invitation to a ball. But when she discovers a body, Ursula is catapulted into a murder investigation. Determined to bag her first scoop for the famous student newspaper Cherwell, Ursula enlists the help of glamorous American student Nancy Feingold to unravel the case. While navigating a whirl of black-tie parties and secret dining societies, the girls discover a surfeit of suspects. From broken-hearted boyfriends to snobby Sloanes, lovelorn librarians to dishy dons, none can be presumed innocent. Clueless meets Agatha Christie in this wickedly funny tale of high society, low morals and a middle class girl, the first book in Plum Sykes' irresistible new series.
The Mum Hunt
by Gwyneth ReesHow hard can it be to find the perfect partner for your dad?Esmie misses her mum, even though she was only a tiny baby when she died. She has a photo by her bed, and sometimes – when she needs advice or just fancies a chat – she asks her mum for help. Sometimes she even hears her reply.But Esmie thinks her dad is lonely. And her big brother Matthew would definitely benefit from a female influence. So Esmie decides to take action: she's going to find her dad a girlfriend. Beautiful, clever, charming, kind to children and animals ... How hard can it be to find the perfect partner for your dad?In the book which won her the Red House Children's Book Award, Gwyneth Rees tells a story of healing and love with characteristic charm and humour. The Mum Hunt comes to Bloomsbury for a refreshed cover look and renewed marketing and publicity to bring new readers to this quirky, lovely modern classic.
Henry and the Yeti
by Russell AytoHenry is sure yetis do exist, and he sets off on an expedition to find one. He has packed everything he needs, including a camera to take photos for evidence. But can he find a yeti? And will anyone believe him when he returns home?A funny story about believing in yourself (and yetis) from a bestselling illustrator who has turned author too. (Titles include The Witch's Children and Captain Flinn and the Pirate Dinosaurs.) Children will love the twist ending in particular.
Sail Away
by Celia ImrieThe deliciously witty, irresistible new novel from the top ten Sunday Times bestselling author of Not Quite Nice follows the exploits of two women on an Atlantic cruise shipThe phone hasn't rung for months. Suzy Marshall is discovering that work can be sluggish for an actress over sixty – even for the former star of a 1980s TV series. So when she's offered the plum role of Lady Bracknell in The Importance of Being Earnest in Zurich, it seems like a godsend. Until, that is, the play is abruptly cancelled in suspicious circumstances, and Suzy is forced to take a job on a cruise ship to get home. Meanwhile Amanda Herbert finds herself homeless in rainy Clapham. Her flat purchase has fallen through, and her children are absorbed in their own dramas. Then she spots an advertisement for an Atlantic cruise, and realises a few weeks on-board would tide her over – and save her money – until the crisis is solved. As the two women set sail on a new adventure, neither can possibly predict the strange characters and dodgy dealings they will encounter – nor the unexpected rewards they will reap. Vividly evoking the old-world glamour of a cruise ship – and the complex politics of its staff quarters – Sail Away is at once a hilarious romp and a thrilling tale of intrigue, from the acclaimed pen of Celia Imrie.
Kid Normal (Kid Normal)
by Greg James Chris Smith Erica SalcedoThe first book in a laugh-out-loud funny adventure series for 8+ readers from radio stars Greg James and Chris Smith'So funny, it's almost criminal' INDEPENDENT'Outrageous capers' GUARDIANSHORTLISTED FOR THE WATERSTONES CHILDREN'S BOOK PRIZEA TOM FLETCHER BOOK CLUB PICK Murph Cooper has a problem. His new school is top secret, and super weird. His classmates can all fly or control the weather or conjure tiny horses from thin air. And what's Murph's extraordinary skill? Um, oh yeah – he hasn't got one. Just as well there are no revolting supervillains lurking nearby, their minds abuzz with evil plans. There are!? Right. Ok, then... It's time for Kid Normal to become a hero!
Kid Normal and the Rogue Heroes (Kid Normal)
by Chris Smith Greg James Erica SalcedoThe second, epically funny adventure starring Murph Cooper and the Super Zeroes from Greg James and Chris SmithNot all heroes have superpowers. Don't believe us? Well Murph Cooper is living proof. Since becoming Kid Normal, he and the Super Zeroes have been catching baddies all over the place. But being a hero is about to get a whole lot harder ...Far away in a top-secret prison, the world's most feared supervillain has broken a thirty year silence. His first words? 'Bring Kid Normal to me!' Praise for Kid Normal: 'So funny, it's almost criminal' INDEPENDENT'Outrageous capers' GUARDIAN The first book in the Kid Normal series was shortlisted for the Waterstones Children's Book Prize 2018
Mr Toppit
by Charles EltonThe bestselling, Richard and Judy Book Club Pick, Mr Toppit is a darkly comic, enthralling story of a family shaped by their father's literary legacy, exploring fame, fandom and long-buried secretsWhen Arthur Hayman, author of The Hayseed Chronicles, dies, a bizarre chain of events conspires to make his series of children's novels world-famous. But buried deep inside the books lie secrets that begin to shake Arthur's family – his son, Luke, reluctantly immortalized as the young hero; his daughter, Rachel, for whom the books are a hole through which her life has fallen; and his enigmatic wife, Martha, who knows that secrets are best kept well-hidden. And at the heart of The Hayseed Chronicles is the mysterious Mr Toppit, who will let none of the Haymans out of his grasp…
Quest for the Golden Arrow (Time Stoppers)
by Carrie Jones"A wild and fresh take on fantasy . . . I freaking loved it!" --Lisa McMann, New York Times bestselling author of The Unwanted series, on Time StoppersReturn to the magical town of Aurora in this exhilarating second book in the Time Stoppers series--perfect for fans of Percy Jackson and The Five Kingdoms.Annie is no longer a Nobody--she's a Time Stopper, one of the last humans who can control time. Now, she's found a home in the enchanted town of Aurora alongside all sorts of mystical creatures alongside, and made three best friends in Eva the dwarf, Bloom the last elf, and Jamie, who might be a troll. Then Annie discovers that the wicked Raiff has kidnapped her beloved new guardian. To save her, Annie must win the trust of a riddle-loving dragon and search for a magical bow and arrow. But as Annie and her friends embark on this mission, she learns some shocking secrets about her past--and about Bloom's, too. Can they save the day before the Raiff destroys everything they hold dear?
Wives Like Us
by Plum Sykes'So wickedly smart, so effortless, so chic and hilarious. Plum Sykes is in a class of her own when it comes to peeling back the layers of status paranoia amongst the poshest of the posh as she delivers a delectable tale that you never want to end.' Kevin Kwan, author of Crazy Rich Asians *Take a grand English country house, one (heartbroken) American divorcée, three rich wives, two tycoons, and one (bereaved) butler; put them all into the blender and out comes the impossibly funny Wives Like Us.Welcome to the rose-strewn county of Oxfordshire and the Cotswold villages of Little Bottom, Middle Bottom, Great Bottom, and Monkton Bottom, recently annexed by a glittering new breed of female: the Country Princess.Following a ghastly row about a missing suite of diamonds, Tata Hawkins has flounced out of Monkton Bottom Manor with her daughter, Minty, and Executive Butler Ian Palmer in tow, decamping to the Old Coach House to teach her husband, Bryan, a lesson.But things don't go to plan: Bryan disappears to Venice with a bikini designer; Selby Fairfax, the glamorous American divorcée who has inherited the beautiful estate next door, refuses Tata's neighborly overtures; and Tata's very best friends, Fernanda Ovington-Williams and Sophie Thompson, are distracted by their own heartaches. Worst of all, Ian has nowhere to store his collection of vintage Gucci loafers.With the help of a pig farmeress moonlighting as a personal assistant, a male model moonlighting as a stable hand, and a London barrister moonlighting as a gentleman farmer, can Ian restore harmony to the Bottoms?'A fabulous and funny bucolic romp – Plum Sykes does it again.' Hannah Rothschild, author of The Improbability of Love'Wives Like Us may be set in the most gorgeous English manor house, but I'd happily sleep in the shed if it meant I could tag along with these marvelous characters – Tata, Minty, and their chic and crafty butler.' Jenny Jackson, author of Pineapple Street'Delightful' Vogue'I absolutely adored Wives Like Us, I thought it was so fun and funny, a romp and a riot - and a glorious dollop of much needed escapism.' Daisy Buchanan'A stiletto-sharp look at the glamorous end of the Cotswolds. I loved it!' Katie Fforde* Readers are loving Wives Like Us:'I devoured this in one day' *****'Gloriously good fun' *****'Absolutely delightful' *****'A perfect summer read' *****
Grandmas from Mars
by Michelle Robinson Fred BluntFred and Nell's grandma is babysitting and the kids couldn't be happier. But hang on, there's something not quite right about her. In fact, she's acting very strangely indeed. And is that a spare eyeball? A tail? A striped tongue? That's NOT their grandma; it's an alien ... RUUUUUUN!Find out how Fred and Nell overcome the invasion by grandmas from Mars (and get their own grandma back!) in this completely crazy and brilliantly bonkers, fun and irreverent picture book from the talented Michelle Robinson, with illustrations by rising star Fred Blunt.This eBook comes with a glorious, hilarious audio accompaniment, read by CBeebies star Justin Fletcher.
Fabio The World's Greatest Flamingo Detective: The Case of the Missing Hippo
by Laura James'Zany ... Even reluctant readers will have a blast' IRISH TIMES In a small town on the banks of Lake Laloozee lives the world's greatest flamingo detective. His name is Fabio. He's not tall or strong, but slight and pink. And he's very, very clever.When Fabio and his giraffe associate Gilbert (terrible at disguises) drop in to the Hotel Royale for a lemonade (pink, naturally), Fabio is persuaded to judge the hotel's talent contest. But when the most promising contestant – Julia the jazz-singing hippopotamus – goes missing, Fabio must put his thinking cap back on and solve the mystery!This new mystery series from Laura James, author of Captain Pug, will have animal lovers and would-be detectives in stitches. Perfect for fans of Claude, Foxy Tales and The Pink Panther!
A Shot in the Dark: A Twitten Mystery
by Lynne TrussThe charming first novel in a new comic crime series, from one of Britain's most-loved writers, the incomparable Lynne TrussBrighton, 1957. Inspector Steine rather enjoys his life as a policeman by the sea. No criminals, no crime, no stress.So it's really rather annoying when an ambitious – not to mention irritating – new constable shows up to work and starts investigating a series of burglaries. And it's even more annoying when, after Constable Twitten is despatched to the theatre for the night, he sits next to a vicious theatre critic who is promptly shot dead part way through the opening night of a new play.It seems Brighton may be in need of a police force after all…
The High Note (Girl vs Boy Band #2)
by Harmony JonesLark's singing is BIG news on YouTube and she's finally starting to admit that she wants to be heard. But it seems that being a singer-songwriter means that it's not just her voice that's in the spotlight – it's her love life too! With pressure from two music executives – one of them her mum – to sign to their label and with irresistible pop sensation Abbey Road set to go on tour, Lark worries that the only boy she can really talk to about her fears and frustrations is about to leave … until Abbey Road ask her to be their opening act! Now Lark must find a way to listen to her heart, both on and off stage. Can she find the courage when it counts the most?The second book in a tween series featuring an aspiring singer-songwriter and the boy band that changes her life!
Royce Rolls
by Margaret StohlSixteen-year-old Bentley Royce is the wild child of a super-glam reality TV dynasty. She has it all – designer clothes, a fancy school and an actual Bentley to drive around in. Her ambitious mum Mercedes has dragged the family from trailer park to Hollywood stardom. But Bentley wants out – she wants to go to college, escape her own storyline, be NORMAL – but Royces don't do normal (or college). Rolling with the Royces is running out of ways to keep viewers hooked and suddenly the show is threatened with cancellation. Bentley faces an impossible choice. Without the show, she could live the college dream – but her family would crumble (they are already twenty million dollars in debt). Bentley Royce has a mission. She must use her brains to save the show; if she saves the show, she can save her family – and she'll do whatever it takes … Royce Rolls is a laugh-out-loud funny romp with a twist of mystery – a behind-the-scenes comedy with a brilliant voice, a hilarious and subversive antidote to the Kardashians and TOWIE (which will still work for fans of both!).
Baby's First Bank Heist
by Jim Whalley Stephen CollinsMove over, Bonnie and Clyde, because there's a new criminal mastermind in town ... Baby Frank! Baby Frank's parents say that he can't have a pet – 'Pets are for older kids', 'Be happy with your teddy', 'They cost too much to keep' – which leaves Baby Frank with a BIG problem because he REALLY wants a pet. What's a baby to do ... ? Rob a bank, of course! But will money buy Baby Frank the fluffy pet he so desperately wants?This is a major new partnership – Stephen Collins, cartoonist in Guardian Weekend magazine, and Jim Whalley, an exciting debut author. It's Burglar Bill for a whole new generation and is perfect for fans of Chris Haughton, Rob Biddulph and Jon Klassen. This eBook comes with a glorious audio accompaniment, read by CBeebies star Justin Fletcher.
Witch Tricks (Witch Wars)
by Laura Ellen Anderson Ms Sibéal PounderFelicity Bat's cool big sister, Idabelle, is always up to no good, but when Tiga and Fluffanora are invited to join her secret clique, The Points, they can't resist. But soon they realise that Idabelle doesn't really want to make friends. She's using them – and a bit of magic – to bring back the infamous outlaw witch gang, the Ritzy Six!Tiga and Fluffanora are going to need all the help they can get to magic history's most mischievous witches back to the past. Unfortunately, Felicity Bat is furious with them and Fran is just a teensy bit busy starring in the TV wrestling event of the century ... FAIRY FIGHTZ!Join all your favourite Witch Wars witches on their sixth adventure!
Neon's Secret Universe
by Sibéal PounderUnicorns are NOT horse creatures with horns.In fact, they are the most powerful magical beings on the planet and they look just like you and me. They live in a secret realm known as the Universe, and the horse with a horn thing was just something a unicorn called Greg made up to distract the humans – and it really worked!But a young human girl called Neon Gallup is about to find the last remaining Universe portal opener (an old, battered green lipstick) and step into a zany world where magic is made with goo and the possibilities are endless!Unfortunately, if there was one person you wouldn't want keeping the greatest magical secret of all time, it would be Neon Gallup ...
Neon and The Unicorn Hunters
by Sibéal PounderDive back into the UNIverse with Neon for another goo-tastic adventure from Sibéal Pounder, the bestselling author of the Witch Wars and Bad Mermaids seriesNow a fully-fledged unicorn (no, not the horse kind, the ultra-powerful human-looking kind), Neon Gallup is LOVING her secret double life in the extraordinary UNIverse, creating goo-powered magic and going on adventures with her unicorn friends.Little does she know that she has been spotted opening a portal by none other than the neighbourhood unicorn hunter, Priscilla. Now that she's seen Neon's portal opener, Priscilla is determined to steal it and destroy unicorns once and for all.With the unicorn hunters closing in on all sides, will Neon discover the sinister plot in time to save the day once again?
Super Cats v Dr Specs (Super Cats)
by Gwyneth ReesCats with superpowers! This brand-new series from bestselling author Gwyneth Rees is every young animal lover's dream come true. Perfect for fans of Holly Webb, Alex T. Smith, and those who want their animal stories with a bit more action!Tagg and Sugarfoot successfully defeated Maximus Fang and his evil partner Gory Gus, but now they face an even bigger challenge because the evil scientist Dr Specs has also escaped from prison. Dr Specs is the cat who invented the neutralising weapon – the machine capable of removing superpowers! Tagg and Sugarfoot will need all their super friends to defeat this fiendish foe, once and for all!
Bergdorf Blondes
by Plum SykesMeet moi, 'a champagne bubble of a girl about town working at being a princess by day and by night on the prowl for that elusive, must-have accessory every girl simply demands: an impossibly rich fiancé'. It shouldn't be too tricky. After all, her BFF is Julie Bergdorf, department store heiress, queen of Park Avenue and owner of hair universally acknowledged as the Perfect Shade of Blonde. Life is a whirl of ball gowns and blow-dries (which inevitably take waaay too long, because hairdressers always need to talk through their addictions). But, strictly entre nous, it can actually be très draining to mix parties, peach bellinis and private jets ('PJs' to those fluent in globetrotting) while maintaining a standout collection of Chloé jeans and a job.How does she manage it?Plum Sykes lifts the lid on Manhattan's elite in this devilishly witty, deliciously addictive tale of the search for love – and the ultimate Manolos.
The Debutante Divorcée
by Plum SykesThe New York Times bestselling second novel from the Sunday Times bestselling author of Bergdorf Blondes, set in the cutthroat world of Manhattan's most eligible eliteSylvia Mortimer is licking her wounds somewhat: she's back from her honeymoon, and her husband is already AWOL. But then she meets Lauren Blount, queen bee of Manhattan's glamorous Debutante Divorcée set. Lauren's the gleaming, glossy proof that there's life after divorce – in fact, she wears it fabulously. But when New York's most notorious Husband Huntress sets her sights on Sylvia's new man, she starts to wonder – is Lauren right that no one needs a husband anyway? Or should she hold out for Happily Ever After II, stand up and fight for her man?
Do Not Disturb the Dragons
by Michelle RobinsonTwo intrepid girls go from ladies-in-waiting to knights-in-action when they rip up the rule book and go searching for adventure!Wondermere is the luckiest kingdom in the land, all thanks to the dragons that nest on top of the castle. Nobody wants them to fly away, so everyone has to FOLLOW THE RULES and make sure everything STAYS THE SAME to keep the dragons HAPPY.Princess Grace HATES the rules. They stop her doing everything she loves, like PLAYING TROLL-O and WEARING TROUSERS and training to be a BRAVE KNIGHT. Why do boys get all the FUN! Determined to prove that the rules are a LOAD OF OLD SWAMP ROT, Grace and her sister Princess Portia secretly enter the year's BIGGEST TROLL-O TOURNAMENT. A couple of rule-breakers couldn't possibly disturb the dragons … could they? Cheeky, charming and laugh-out-loud funny, the debut young fiction series from bestselling picture book author Michelle Robinson is chock-full of chuckles (and grumpy unicorns). Perfect for fans of Cressida Cowell, Pamela Butchart and Emer Stamp.