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The Trouble With Dragons
by Debi GlioriThe world is populated by some beastly dragons who care nothing for how much they mess up the oceans, chop down the trees, gobble up all the food and use everything up without stopping to think. Those dragons need to wake up to what they are doing to their world before it is too late ... A delightful and energy-filled picture book that addresses concerns about the environment in the most child-centric and delightful way possible.Brilliantly read by Amelia Fox. Please note that audio is not supported by all devices, please consult your user manual for confirmation.
The True History of the Blackadder: The Unadulterated Tale of the Creation of a Comedy Legend
by J. F. RobertsBritish history as we know it is a cluttered patchwork of questionable stories which have been re-written, re-evaluated and ridiculed, and yet there is still an unquestioned narrative thread which runs through the nation's historical record, accepted as fact. But final editorial control has always belonged to the winners. And nobody likes winners... The True History of the Black Adder is the very first in-depth examination of the creation of a British institution like no other – arguably the greatest sitcom of all time – not to mention the first historical investigation into the lives of the Blackadder family, one of the nation's most villified dynasties.Using existing archive footage and rare literature, plus new revelations from personal interviews with the makers including John Lloyd, Tony Robinson, Richard Curtis, Ben Elton, Stephen Fry, Brian Blessed; Rowan Atkinson and many more, J. F. Roberts relates the full scope of the tale of how the 70s alumni of three great universities – Oxford, Cambridge and not Hull, but Manchester – discovered a unique chemistry that would see them build a timeless comic masterpiece.At last Blackadder enthusiasts can now uncover THE cunning plan, in all its hideous hilarity.
Tumford's Rude Noises: A funny cat caper about learning to be polite!
by Nancy TillmanJoin Tumford the cat as he learns an important lesson about manners and learning to be polite, with a beautiful reminder that children are always loved.Tumford isn't really a terrible cat, it's just that he likes to make loud noises. However, his parents aren't very happy with him – they have friends coming over and they think Tumford is rude.Nancy Tillman, author of On the Night You Were Born, reaffirms for children that they will always be loved. Tumford's Rude Noises is a funny and heartwarming story helping to teach children about manners.Enjoy more heartwarming stories from Nancy Tillman: Tumford the Terrible, Wherever You Are My Love Will Find You and It's Time to Sleep, My Love.
The Ugly Duchess: Number 4 in series (Happy Ever After #4)
by Eloisa James'Nothing gets me to a bookstore faster than Eloisa James' - Julia QuinnHow can she dare to imagine he loves her... when all London calls her The Ugly Duchess?Theodora Saxby is the last woman anyone expects the gorgeous James Ryburn, heir to the Duchy of Ashbrook, to marry. But after a romantic proposal before the prince himself, even practical Theo finds herself convinced of her soon-to-be duke's passion. Still, the tabloids give the marriage six months. Theo would have given it a lifetime . . . until she discovers that James desires not her heart, and certainly not her countenance, but her dowry.Society was shocked by their wedding, but it's scandalized by their separation. James heads to sea where he becomes a notorious pirate, and Theo builds their estate into a flourishing concern. Back from the seas, a scandalous tattoo of a poppy under one eye, James now faces the battle of his lifetime: convincing Theo that he loved the duckling who blossomed into the swan. Theo will quickly find that for a man with the soul of a pirate, all's fair in love - or war.'Eloisa James is extraordinary' - Lisa Kleypas'Romance writing does not get much better than this' - People
The Unbearable Lightness of Being a Prawn Cracker: A Selection of Real Meals (Penguin Specials)
by Will SelfThe Unbearable Lightness of Being a Prawn Cracker - hilarious restaurant reviews by Booker nominee Will Self'Most food writing and restaurant criticism is concerned with the ideal, with how by cooking this, or dining there, you can somehow ingurgitate a new - or at any rate improved - social, aesthetic and even spiritual persona. I aimed to turn this proposition on its head, and instead of commenting on where and what people would ideally like to eat I would consider where and what they actually did: the ready meals, buffet snacks and - most importantly - fast food that millions of Britons chomp upon in the go-round of their often hurried and dyspeptic lives.'In this selection from his wickedly funny New Statesman Real Meals column, Will Self reviews the chains where most of us go to eat (KFC, Greggs, Yo! Sushi, Pizza Express and their like), delves into the ubiquitous Thai meal and Chicken Tikka Masala, and experiences hotel breakfasts, frozen TV dinners and airline food on our behalf. These are restaurant reviews of the kind you've never read before.Will Self is the author of nine novels including Cock and Bull; My Idea of Fun; Great Apes; How the Dead Live; Dorian, an Imitation; The Book of Dave; The Butt; Walking to Hollywood and Umbrella, which was shortlisted for the Man Booker Prize. He has written five collections of shorter fiction and three novellas: The Quantity Theory of Insanity; Grey Area; License to Hug; The Sweet Smell of Psychosis; Design Faults in the Volvo 760 Turbo; Tough, Tough Toys for Tough, Tough Boys; Dr. Mukti and Other Tales of Woe and Liver: A Fictional Organ with a Surface Anatomy of Four Lobes. Self has also compiled a number of nonfiction works, including The Undivided Self: Selected Stories; Junk Mail; Perfidious Man; Sore Sites; Feeding Frenzy; Psychogeography; Psycho Too and The Unbearable Lightness of Being a Prawn Cracker.
Undead Ed: Undead Ed and the Devil's Fingers
by David GrimstoneForget everything you've ever seen or heard about werewolves, zombies and vampires because Ed Bagley's going to tell you the single most important fact you'll ever learn: BEING UNDEAD SUCKS ... especially if you're a kid.Despite Ed's death, he's finding it really hard to actually ... pass on. Mainly because he's been cursed by an evil clown who made a sick pact with the devil, a pact that has lumbered him with four of Satan's fingers. And now he's killed Evil Clive - the head of Mortlake's dead community, and none of his undead friends can ever forgive him. Ed has no choice but to return these fingers to the devil himself. Then maybe he can get on with the rest of his death in peace ...
Unexpected Item in the Bagging Area: Driven Crazy by the Modern World?
by Chris Martin'If you point my smart phone at the sky, its star-gazing app can supposedly identify and name planets outside of our galaxy. Extraordinary - but even more extraordinary is that it can't actually make telephone calls. Trying to get a signal on it is like searching for the Yeti - some people believe it exists but you would probably have to trek to the Himalayas to find it.'Unexpected Item in the Bagging Area is a hilarious call-to-arms for everyone infuriated by 21st Century technology. Gadgets that are supposed to make life easier have just made it more complicated and annoying. If you have found yourself shouting at a recorded voice on the phone, been driven crazy by the illogical pricing of train tickets or found yourself drowning in a sea of half-remembered passwords, then this is the book for you.
The Unfortunates
by null J K Chukwu'A gripping call to action—and a daring triumph of a novel' ADORAH NWORAH 'Masterfully portrays the splintering of the mind in its most striking, unfiltered form' AIWANOSE ODAFEN 'A playful, powerful debut' ZAKIYA DALILA HARRIS A RAZOR-SHARP NOVEL FROM AN UTTERLY UNIQUE NEW VOICE. A lot is happening to Me. Will Me survive? Sahara is a student at one of the most elite universities in America – and she is Not Okay. Her grades are subpar, she’s not Nigerian enough for her family, and her long-term Life Partner* is threatening to take over. When she’s not contemplating killing herself or the wealthy white students around her, she’s receiving an increasing number of ‘Unfortunate News’ emails, which inform her that the few Black classmates she has are disappearing. Will Sahara end up joining the ranks of ‘The Unfortunates’, or can she avoid becoming yet another statistic? Written in the style of a thesis, J K Chukwu’s highly original debut is a darkly funny and biting take on the campus novel, set in the mind of a young Black woman who is losing hers. *depression
An Unsocial Socialist: Large Print
by George Bernard ShawSidney Trefusis is a proselytizing socialist. Armed with irony and paradox, he is determined to overthrow a society riddled with class and sexual exploitation. Henrietta, his adoring wife, 'loves' him: he must abandon her. Son of a millionaire, he gives up everything to pose as an 'umble peasant'. But when this unsocial socialist goes to work as a gardener in the vicinity of a girls' school he meets his match - for Agatha Wylie is a new kind of woman, perfectly armed: and she doesn't love him. With the character of his clown-prophet Trefusis, George Bernard Shaw presented for the first time his view of what the relationship between the sexes should be. Galloping, exuberant, and irresistibly entertaining, AN UNSOCIAL SOCIALIST is a brilliant satire on social prejudice from a great author of the past.
Unsuitable Men: An uplifting romantic comedy from a top ten author
by Pippa WrightUnsuitable Men is a hilarious romantic comedy from Pippa Wright, author of Lizzy Harrison Loses Control and The Foster Husband.After eleven years of coupled-up domesticity, Rory Carmichael is single for the first time in her adult life. Even she would admit that her ex-boyfriend Martin wasn’t the most exciting man in the world – let’s face it, his idea of a rocking night was one spent updating his Excel spreadsheets – but Rory could rely on him and, having watched her mother rack up four turbulent marriages, that’s what matters. But when she discovers that her supposedly reliable Mr Right is a distinctly unreliable cheater, she’s forced to consider the possibility that everything she knows about relationships is wrong. In an effort to reinvigorate both her love life and her lacklustre career at posh magazine Country House, she sets herself a mission to date as many unsuitable men as possible. Toyboys. Sugar daddies. Fauxmosexuals. Maybe the bad boys she’s never dated can show her what she’s been missing in life. But if Mr Right can turn out to be so wrong, maybe one of her Mr Wrongs will turn out to be just right . . .
The Vacant Casualty: A Parody
by Patty O'FurnitureThe Vacant Casualty is not prepared, authorized, licensed, approved, or endorsed by the author or the publishers of The Casual Vacancy. Nothing ever seems to happen in the sleepy English town of Mumford – unless you count the man with the axe in his back, staggering down the street getting blood everywhere and leaving a vacancy on the Parish Council . . . Into the fray steps Detective Inspector Bradley of the C.I.D. Although he appears to be a plodding buffoon, incapable of detecting his own backside, that is exactly what he is. But when he teams up with an alcoholic, drug-addled writer researching a detective novel, together they will blunder towards the identity of the ‘vacant casualty’. They just hope to get there before everyone in the town is murdered. In this potty-mouthed, depraved, disrespectful parody, strewn with casual violence and sexual deviancy, you will discover aliens, farting tea-ladies, car chases, serial killers and lashings and lashings of tortoise milk. But no immigrants. This is the countryside, after all.
A Very Accidental Love Story
by Claudia CarrollAn original, funny and poignant story about those things in life that you just can’t plan for… ‘A very modern fairytale, full of Claudia’s trademark wit and humour’ Sheila O’Flanagan
A Very Accidental Love Story
by Claudia CarrollAn original, funny and poignant story about those things in life that you just can’t plan for…‘A very modern fairytale, full of Claudia’s trademark wit and humour.’ Sheila O’Flanagan
The VERY Embarrassing Book of Dad Jokes: Because Your Dad Thinks He's Hilarious
by Ian AllenWhy did the banana go to the doctors? Because he wasn't peeling very well!
Vile Visitors
by Diana Wynne JonesTwo hilarious stories from the bestselling and well-loved author Diana Wynne Jones, about the worst visitors in the world coming to stay.
Vince and Joy: The unforgettable bestseller from the No. 1 bestselling author of The Family Upstairs
by Lisa JewellFrom the No. 1 bestselling author of The Family Upstairs and The Girls, this is the perfect love story for anyone who adored One Day in December and David Nicholls 'A lovely story that warms the heart' 5***** Reader Review 'Prepare to be charmed, hopeful, happy and sad, and to fall in love with Vince and Joy' 5***** Reader Review 'The best love story in years' 5***** Reader Review _______ RIGHT PERSON, WRONG TIME . . . Vince and Joy have their whole lives ahead of them on the day they meet as teenagers, and instantly fall in love. But two weeks later, a misunderstanding forces them apart. When they cross paths seven years later they've been living very different lives. Yet neither of them has been able to let go of their first love. What happens when you meet the right person at the wrong time? _______ 'A gem of a read' Grazia 'Vince and Joy got me through a hard time. Gave me the strength to walk away from my situation. When we read books about characters we can relate to, it makes us feel less alone. An awakening' C L Moore 'One of those rare books with the variety, complexity and unexpectedness of real life. A book you simply disappear into. And you emerge two days later on a cloud of cosy memories' Sunday Telegraph 'A Must Buy Book - classy, evocative, intelligent and insightful' Company
The Vintage Girl: a sweeping romance that will have you laughing out loud
by Hester BrowneWhen Evie Nicholson is asked to visit Kettlesheer Castle in Scotland to archive the family heirlooms, she jumps at the chance. Evie's passion for antiques means that, for her, the castle is a treasure trove of mysteries just waiting to be uncovered. But in each heirloom lies a story, and in the course of her investigations Evie stumbles upon some long-buried family secrets. Add handsome, gloomy heir Robert McAndrew and a traditional candlelit gala to the mix, and Evie's heart is sent reeling with an enthusiasm that may just extend beyond the Kettlesheer silver... What readers are saying about Hester Browne: 'What a delicious, witty story, I loved it!' Sophie Kinsella 'Deliciously addictive, feel-good comedy - perfect for lazy days on the beach' Cosmopolitan 'Funny and flirty, we guarantee you'll devour this book in one sitting' Glamour
The Visitor (A Roald Dahl Short Story)
by Roald DahlThe Visitor is an amusing and chilling story from Roald Dahl, the master of the twist in the tale.In The Visitor, Roald Dahl, one of the world's favourite authors, tells a funny, fruity story about one of his favourite characters, adventurer and seducer Oswald Hendryks Cornelius. Here, Uncle Oswald gets more than he bargained for in Arabia . . .The Visitor is taken from the short story collection Switch Bitch, which includes three other black comedies which capture the ins and outs, highs and lows of sex (including another Uncle Oswald story, Bitch).'One of the most widely read and influential writers of our generation.' (The Times )This story is also available as a Penguin digital audio download read by Richard E. Grant and Derek Jacobi.Roald Dahl, the brilliant and worldwide acclaimed author of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, James and the Giant Peach, Matilda, and many more classics for children, also wrote scores of short stories for adults. These delightfully disturbing tales have often been filmed and were most recently the inspiration for the West End play, Roald Dahl's Twisted Tales by Jeremy Dyson. Roald Dahl's stories continue to make readers shiver today.
Vulgar the Viking and the Great Gulp Games (Vulgar the Viking #2)
by Odin RedbeardViking based fiction, perfect for fans of How to Train Your Dragon!Related activity sheets available on the Nosy Crow website. "In this downright funny and entertaining series, Vulgar wants to be a real Viking however things don't always go according to plan for him... Full of humour, your children will devour these and they'll be begging you to read them the next one in the series!" - Theschoolrun.comEvery year, the village of Blubber competes against the neighbouring town of Gulp in the Viking Games, and every year, the Blubberers get thrashed. Convinced he can do better this time, Vulgar starts training - with comically catastrophic results - but worse is to come when he arrives at the Games to discover he and his friends have all been mistakenly entered into the goat hurdling! And when Vulgar's arch-enemy Gunnar turns up in the same event, the stage is set for the most ill-tempered and chaotic goat-hurdling race in Viking history.
Vulgar the Viking and the Rock Cake Raiders (Vulgar the Viking #1)
by Odin RedbeardViking based fiction, perfect for fans of How to Train Your Dragon!Related activity sheets available on the Nosy Crow website. "In this downright funny and entertaining series, Vulgar wants to be a real Viking however things don't always go according to plan for him... Full of humour, your children will devour these and they'll be begging you to read them the next one in the series!" - Theschoolrun.comVulgar is a Viking boy who longs for the glory days of raiding, pillaging and enormous beards. Life in the village of Blubber is so dull, it's all knitting and goat-herding and yawwwnnn. Vulgar feels it's up to him to introduce a bit of mayhem and chaos, and just as soon as he's finished juggling with elk manure, he's going to relish the challenge.
Vulgar the Viking and the Spooky School Trip (Vulgar the Viking #3)
by Odin RedbeardViking based fiction, perfect for fans of How to Train Your Dragon!Related activity sheets available on the Nosy Crow website. "In this downright funny and entertaining series, Vulgar wants to be a real Viking however things don't always go according to plan for him... Full of humour, your children will devour these and they'll be begging you to read them the next one in the series!" - Theschoolrun.comVulgar's new teacher is called Otto the Bone-Cruncher and he's a proper viking! Vulgar can't wait for the school trip, to learn all about hunting and exploring and having adventures. But after a very VERY long walk and a tea of roasted slugs, Vulgar's not so chipper. It's getting dark, and he's a bit spooked. There are trolls in these hills...
A Walk In The Park
by Jill MansellA WALK IN THE PARK is a Sunday Times bestseller by Jill Mansell, not to be missed by fans of Lucy Diamond and Milly Johnson. Reviewers love Jill's books: 'Glorious, heartwarming, romantic' Woman & HomeIt's been a while, but Lara Carson's back in Bath and lives are set to change as a result. Because Lara left her family and boyfriend Flynn eighteen years ago without a word to anyone. Why has no one heard from her since? Her childhood best friend Evie is thrilled Lara's back and able to share her happiness. Evie's about to walk down the aisle with her dream man, Joel. Or so she thinks... Then there's Flynn Erskine, even more attractive now and stunned to see Lara again. The spark between them is as strong as ever, but how's Flynn going to react when he discovers the secret she's been keeping from him? Oh yes, there's a lot of catching up to be done...What readers are saying about A Walk In The Park: 'Big and bold characters fill the page with colour, warmth and humour. I didn't want to put it down or for the story to end' Goodreads reviewer, 5 stars'I love all of Jill Mansell's books and this is no exception. This is definitely a laugh-out-loud book - entertaining, funny, sad in places and uplifting' Amazon reviewer, 5 stars'Vivid and realistic... I still linger on the wonderful story' Goodreads reviewer, 5 stars
Walking with Sausage Dogs
by Matt WhymanKeeping pets is a lovely idea. When building a family, they complement the kids. But what happens when things get out of hand? For writer and house husband, Matt Whyman, it's a case of catastrophe management in coping with four children and all the ill-advised animals amassed by his career wife, Emma. Just as Matt gets to grips with managing her two maxed out minipigs, she falls for a miniature Dachshund - the kind of dog he wouldn't be seen dead with. Hercules isn't big or clever, but Emma is determined. She'll do everything, she promises... From the author of Pig in the Middle
Warhorses of Letters
by Robert Hudson Marie PhillipsThe world's first gay, equine, military, epistolary romance.Newly discovered letters written from Wellington's warhorse (Marengo) to Napoleon's warhorse (Copenhagen) and vice versa.Includes extra material not featured in the Radio 4 series, both elements of the letters cut from the final scripts and additional material not featured in the shows at all, including the letters from Marengo to his hygienist and the horse he plays chess with, and the notes between Copenhagen and the annoying dog he has to share a stall with.Initially written as a series of letters between the authors (each choosing a stretch of the Napoleonic wars between them to examine and write into the most recent letter). They were then performed with great success at the Tall Tales evenings in Kilburn until the letters were picked up by the BBC for broadcast in autumn 2011.
We Have a Good Time ... Don't We?: A Regular Human Girl Decides
by Maeve HigginsIn her hilarious debut, Maeve Higgins smashes the brittle veneer on the creme brulée of life and hands around spoons, so we can all taste the delicious absurdity that lies beneath. She then promises to stop making terrible food analogies about everything.From terrifying hen nights, malevolent dolphins and angry bakers, to runaway cats, a stalker who won't commit and the curse of over-politeness, Maeve writes with warmth and wit about what it's like to be a regular human girl. We Have a Good Time...Don't We? introduces a strikingly original voice that celebrates the truth of what we really feel about ourselves through these hilarious and perceptive snapshots of life.