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Uncle Fred in the Springtime: (Blandings Castle) (Blandings Castle #9)
by P. G. WodehouseA classic Blandings novel from P.G. Wodehouse, the great comic writer of the 20th century. Blandings is now a BBC One show starring Jennifer Saunders and Timothy Spall. Episode One, series two, 'Throwing Eggs', features scenes from 'Uncle Fred in the Springtime'. Uncle Fred believes he can achieve anything in the springtime. However, disguised as a loony-doctor and trying to prevent prize pig, the Empress of Blandings, from falling into the hands of the unscrupulous Duke of Dunstable, he is stretched to his limit... 'A cavalcade of perfect joy.' - Caitlin Moran'Sunlit perfection... Bask in its warmth and splendour.' - Stephen Fry'The best English comic novelist of the century.' - Sebastian Faulks'The greatest chronicler of a certain kind of Englishness' - Julian Fellowes
An Utterly Impartial History of Britain: (or 2000 Years Of Upper Class Idiots In Charge)
by John O'FarrellMany of us were put off history by the dry and dreary way it was taught at school. Back then 'The Origins of the Industrial Revolution' somehow seemed less compelling than the chance to test the bold claim on Timothy Johnson's 'Shatterproof' ruler.But here at last is a chance to have a good laugh and learn all that stuff you feel you really ought to know by now...In this 'Horrible History for Grown Ups' you can read how Anglo-Saxon liberals struggled to be positive about immigration; 'Look I think we have to try and respect the religious customs of our new Viking friends - oi, he's nicked my bloody ox!'Discover how England's peculiar class system was established by some snobby French nobles whose posh descendents still have wine cellars and second homes in the Dordogne today. And explore the complex socio-economic reasons why Britain's kings were the first in Europe to be brought to heel; (because the Stuarts were such a useless bunch of untalented, incompetent, arrogant, upper-class thickoes that Parliament didn't have much choice.)A book about then that is also incisive and illuminating about now, '2000 Years of Upper Class Idiots in Charge', is an hilarious, informative and cantankerous journey through Britain' fascinating and bizarre history.As entertaining as a witch burning, and a lot more laughs.
The Wattwatts: Book 15 (Nelly the Monster Sitter #15)
by Kes GrayNelly's monster sitting adventures are always full of surprises. Things just seem to get stickier and stickier when she monster sits for the Ultravores but it doesn't compare to how lost for words she is at the Rimes. And with even more fighting with Asti to add to the mix, her time with the Wattwatts is shocking to say the least!Nelly's in for a shocking time with the wattwatts, as this time it's not her looking after the monsters, it's the monsters looking after her...
Wedding Season: The perfect escapist romance for summer from the bestselling author of feel-good fiction
by Katie FfordeA wedding planner who doesn't believe in love. Two weddings on the same day. A life adventure awaits. . . from the No. 1 Sunday Times bestselling author of Summer of Love, A Wedding in Provence and One Enchanted Evening.*Now with exclusive eBook content from Katie about how Wedding Season came to be!*'The queen of uplifting, feel good romance' AJ Pearce'Top-drawer romantic escapism' Daily Mail'Warm, brilliant and full of love' Heat'Fforde never disapoints' Weekly_____________Have you heard of a wedding planner who doesn't believe in love?Having felt love's cruel sting before, wedding planner Sarah Stratford now strictly sticks to helping customers have the weddings of their dreams.As the confetti flutters away in the June breeze of another successful celebration, she finds herself agreeing to two more weddings, but not only are they on the same day, they're only two months away!Sarah enlists the help of her two best friends to help her pull together the two events in time.Little do they all know that helping other people find happiness will lead them down their own path to true love . . ._____________Readers can't get enough of Wedding Season . . .***** 'I LOVE this story! I enjoy all of Katie Fforde's books and Wedding Season has jumped to one of my all-time favourites.'***** 'Totally loved it, looking forward to reading more of Fforde's books now!'***** 'I absolutely loved it. A really good easy read providing a bit of welcome escapism.'***** 'Full of friendship romance and humour and of course weddings. So heartwarming and witty a great read.'***** 'By far my favourite Katie Fforde book!'
Weird
by Jeremy StrongJosh thinks Fizz is dentally challenged and fluent in gibberish.Fizz thinks Josh is the Prince of Handsomeness.They're destined to work together at Marigolds Old People's Home – can Cupid's arrow strike among the Zimmer frames? Thow in Josh's wacky mother with her goats on the sofa and Fizz's goddess-like big sis and one thing is certain. Things will get a LOT weirder before they start making sense – and can the oldies really make their great escape . . . using tablespoons?Being fourteen has never been so weird . . .
We’re British, Innit: An Irreverent A To Z Of All Things British
by Iain AitchUnlike the Government's Citizenship Test, this is the real measure of Britishness.
What I'd Say to the Martians: And Other Veiled Threats
by Jack HandeyJack Handey is one of America's favorite humorists, from his New Yorker pieces to his Deep Thoughts books and Saturday Night Live sketches. Now, in What I'd Say to the Martians, Handey regales readers with his incredible wit and wacky musings.
What Rhymes with Bastard?
by Linda RobertsonThe hilariously candid story of an unbelievably dysfunctional and disintegrating relationship.
What She Wants: Someone Like You, What She Wants, Just Between Us, Best Of Friends, Always And Forever, Past Secrets
by Cathy KellyA warm and funny novel about facing change in our live, from the internationally bestselling author Cathy Kelly.
When You Are Engulfed In Flames
by David SedarisDavid Sedaris's remarkable ability to uncover the hilarious absurdity teeming just below the surface of everyday life is elevated to wilder and more entertaining heights than ever in this new book of stories.Sedaris proceeds from bizarre conundrums of daily life - the etiquette of having a lozenge fall from your mouth into the lap of a fellow passenger or how to soundproof your windows with LP covers against neurotic songbirds - to the most deeply resonant human truths. Taking in the parasitic worm that once lived in his mother-in-law's leg, an encounter with a dingo and the purchase of a human skeleton, and culminating in a brilliant account of his attempt to quit smoking - in Tokyo - David Sedaris's sixth story collection is a fresh masterpiece of comic writing.
Who Writes This Crap?
by Joel Stickley Luke WrightDo you ever wonder who's responsible for the rubbish that you read every day?In Who Writes this Crap, Stickley and Wright take the most ridiculous examples of junk mail, packaging, emails and advertising and rewrite them in side-splitting new ways. Whether it’s a smoothie label, a newspaper headline or an unsolicited email from a Nigerian prince, this fun and irreverent satire will change the way you read forever.
Why Do I Say These Things?
by Jonathan RossWhy is catalogue shopping responsible for Jonathan Ross's inimitable sense of style?Why might wearing cape and mask be a fast track to heaven?Why does Jonathan wince every time he sees a Hoover?And why did he fall in love with a deep-sea diver?Why? Because this is Jonathan Ross. And nothing is out of bounds when it comes to talking about life as he knows it. From sex and pugs to rock 'n' roll and genital warts, Jonathan holds forth as only he can. This sharply observed, laugh-out-loud, outrageous page-turner will leave you asking just one question . . . Why didn't he write it sooner?
Wild Jinx
by Sandra HillIn the third book of her hot and hilarious series, New York Times bestselling author Sandra Hill takes readers along on another wild ride with Jinx, Inc., where trouble is no match for a cagey Cajun matchmaker--and passion conquers all. When reporter Celine Arseneaux entered The Playpen, a Baton Rouge club for men AND women, she never expected John LeDeux to swagger up to her. Sure, the bayou's notorious bad boy was pure sex on the hoof. But even with her expose on the line, Celine will refuse to be his conquest left cryin' in her crayfish -- at least not again. Not for this man who doesn't even remember her! Detective LeDeux had always been too hot to handle, but now he was on fire as the cop posing as a gigolo to bust the Dixie Mafia. Joining Tante Lulu's treasure hunt seems a fine way to avoid the media ruckus--until Celine pursues her story deep into the bayou, stoking John's hazy memories of a sizzling night five years ago....
Wish You Were Here
by Mike GayleA brilliant romantic comedy exploring beach basics for the broken-hearted from number one bestselling author Mike Gayle.Their holiday brochure said 18-30 . . . But they've just turned 35.After ten years together Charlie Mansell has been dumped by his live-in girlfriend, Sarah. All he wants to do is wallow in misery, but mates Andy and Tom have a better idea: a week of sun, sea and souvlaki in Malia, party capital of the Greek islands.But Charlie and his mates aren't eighteen any more. Or even under thirty. And it shows.It isn't the cheap beer, the late nights or even the fast-food that's the problem. It's girls. And life. And most of all . . . each other. WISH YOU WERE HERE is a heart-warming, funny and wise tale about love and friendship and how seven days in the sun can change your life forever.
Witch Baby and Me (Witch Baby #1)
by Debi GlioriLily is 9. Her sister Daisy is 1. And she's no ordinary baby. Somehow, when she was born, something went rather wrong... and now Daisy is a Witch Baby. Nobody knows this but Lily - she's the only one who can see when Daisy makes the fridge float in the air, or turns people into slugs, or summons up her very stinky dog Waywoof...The sisters have just moved to a new neighbourhood, and their mum wants them to make friends. She decides to throw a party and send Lily and Daisy out to deliver the invitations. They meet some odd characters along the way... Will the party be a big success or will Daisy's magic mean things are even more chaotic than normal?
The Woman Who Is Always Tan And Has a Flat Stomach: And Other Annoying People
by Lauren Allison Lisa PerryYou know that overprotective PTA mom who needs to be resuscitated after she finds out you fed her son a hotdog? Or that couple who sends out the annual holiday letter about how their little Timmy came up with an alternative to fossil fuels while you're proud of simply replacing the lint catcher in your dryer once a year? You'll meet them again in Lauren Allison and Lisa Perry's laugh-out-loud compendium. Allison and Perry take on soccer moms, video dads, rabid gardeners, and grating couples in this collection of short, punchy essays. Less-than-perfect moms and dads everywhere will be sure to relate to the authors' portraits of the most annoying people around!
The Wonderful Christmas Undies
by Edward MonktonFollowing the phenomenal success of such stylish and original books as The Lady and the Chocolate, The Pig of Happiness, The Shoes of Salvation, Love and The Penguin of Death, Edward Monkton now assembles his funny, sometimes surreal and suprisingly philisophical drawings and thoughts on Christmas.
Yes, But Is It Good for the Jews?: A Beginner's Guide, Volume 1 (A\beginner's Guide Ser. #Vol. 1)
by Jonny GellerThe only question more popular among the Jewish people than "have you eaten yet?" is "Yes, But Is It Good for the Jews?" Jews have long considered everything from current events to dinner menus to NBC's fall lineup through this essential prism. Revealed here for the first time is the ancient method by which to evaluate this burning question-the mathematical art of Judology. Think of it as the third cousin of Kabbalah. Yes, But Is It Good for the Jews? is a hilarious tour of world history and culture that features entries on a wide variety of subjects including: Ikea, The Bible (Old and New Testaments), Vidal Sassoon, Scientology, and more. Each one includes a definition, an explanation for why it might or might not be good for the Jews, and the Judological formula which untimely determines the answer. It's easy: Antisemitic Potential/Backlash + Impact on the world x The J Factor (level of Jewishness) = Tzurus (Yiddish word for "trouble") / 7 (Kabbalah mystical number) = Good or Not Good for Jews This must-have guide for our times will tell you which celebrity to disparage (Madonna), which product to boycott (Nintendo), which book to skip (almost anything by Hemingway) and which country to avoid (Turkmenistan). Yes, But Is It Good for the Jews? is the perfect gift for every night of Chanukah or for the Bar Mitvah boy/Bat Mitzvah girl in your life. Jonny Geller is a literary agent and is based in London where he lives with his wife and two sons.Visit www.isitgoodforthejews.com for a quiz, a blog and more.
Yes, But is it Good for the Jews?: How to Bring Out the Jew in You (A\beginner's Guide Ser. #Vol. 1)
by Jonny GellerWhat do google, guilt, musicals and Scarlet Johansson have in common? Answer: they’re all Good for the Jews! But what about Christmas? Or Jordan (the celebrity, naturally)? or Scientology? . Luckily the Judological Institute of Spiritual Mathematics (JISM) are pleased to reveal to the outside world – yes, Non-Jews are allowed to buy this book – the ancient mystical formula for calculating which people, products and places is, in fact, Good for the Jews. Here the secret art of Judology (think of it as a third cousin of Kabbalah) will reveal: • Big Brother is , in fact, Good for the Jews . since when has someone watching your every move, listening to all your conversations, NOT been a Jewish experience? • eBay , of course, is Not . Where else can one happily buy Hitler's nasal trimmer or mint conditioned first editions of Mein Kampf?. Additional help in getting the J factor comes with handy lists of who to marry, which Jews changed their names, and the essential Vacation Spots that are good for the Jews One final note. Please do not borrow this book from a friend or library as borrowing is not Good for the Jews. Buying is. Heimische.
Yes Man Film Tie-In
by Danny WallaceOne word. Unlimited consequences.The book that inspired the major film starring Jim Carrey and Zooey Deschanel'I, Danny Wallace, being of sound mind and body, do hereby write this manifesto for my life. I swear I will be more open to opportunity. I swear I will live my life taking every available chance. I will say Yes to every favour, request, suggestion and invitation. I WILL SWEAR TO SAY YES WHERE ONCE I WOULD SAY NO.'Danny Wallace had been staying in. Far too much. Having been dumped by his girlfriend, he really wasn't doing the young, free and single thing very well. Instead he was avoiding people. Texting them instead of calling them. Calling them instead of meeting them. That is until one fateful date when a mystery man on a late-night bus told him to 'say yes more'. These three simple words changed Danny's life forever. Yes Man is the story of what happened when Danny decided to say YES to everything, in order to make his life more interesting. And boy, did it get more interesting.
Zoology (Vintage Contemporaries Ser.)
by Ben DolnickA funny, wise and heartwarming story of a young man’s first forays into love during a long, hot summer in New York City.
Everyone's Crazy Except You and Me...And I'm Not So Sure About You: America's Favorite Contrarian Cuts Loose
by LionelEveryone's Crazy Here...In his twenty years on the radio, the mononymous Lionel ("one name, like God," as he is fond of saying) has forged his reputation as an irreverent, ribald, take-no-prisoners analyst of culture, politics, and the world at large. Now America's favorite contrarian takes to the page with this hilarious user's guide to our country and culture.In Everyone's Crazy Except You and Me ... And I'm Not So Sure About You, Lionel offers a collection of hilarious and insightful observations on life, liberty, and the pursuit of alien life forms. From the sublime (Why do so many of us believe in God?) to the ridiculous (Why did he run over his sister's hair with the vacuum cleaner?), Lionel takes his readers on a riotous ride through his world, and ours. A former prosecutor, Lionel examines our greatest national oxymoron--criminal justice. He hates hate crimes, and argues against drug criminalization and the Son of Sam laws. He's also an indefatigable defender of the First Amendment who nevertheless believes that men shouldn't drink mojitos or wear socks with sandals. And lest you think he just picks on the Right, rest assured that Lionel has plenty to say about Lefties, Centrists, and even barristas.No subject is off limits here. No group is immune--not conservatives, not women, and especially not American Homo sapiens.Consider these imponderables: Why today's acrobatic professional wrestler is inferior to the beer-bellied hulk of the sixties Why Hazmat suits are worn more than once, but not wedding gowns Why women can't tell jokes Why you should never drink anything you can't spellAn infectious, irresistible, and possibly persuasive book that is bound to entertain and inform, Everyone's Crazy Except You and Me ... And I'm Not So Sure About You is the perfect read for anyone who questions the state of our national mental health. Void where prohibited by law.
The Art of Faking It: Sounding Smart Without Really Knowing Anything
by Laurence Whitted-FryIn today's fast-paced society, who has time to keep up with both the current trends and the classics of what is "good” and "popular”? The Art of Faking It guides you-with tongue planted firmly in cheek-through any awkward, intellectual, and/or über-sophisticated social situation, using both panache and pithy nuggets of wisdom to ensure you'll never be at a loss for the right words and attitudes again.Inside you will find everything you need to know about what everyone is talking about- from ordering the "right” food and drink to holding an intelligent conversation about anything, from classical music and architecture to legitimate theater and the opposite sex. With the timely information and savvy advice in this book, playfully illustrated with New Yorker-esque line drawings, you will be the most scintillating conversationalist in the bunch-whether you are faking it or not!
Global Village Idiot
by John O'Farrell'This week the first pet passports came into effect. Around the country dogs have been hopping into photo booths and trying to look as relaxed as possible, which is not easy when you know you're not allowed on the chair.'Gathered here are the best of John O'Farrell's newspaper columns for the Guardian and the Independent which saw him win the coveted Best Columnist of the Year Award at the prestigious British Liars Awards. Among many other things, he claims that the only conviction in the Tory Party will be when Jeffrey Archer gets sent to prison; that scientists have created a genetically superior monkey which will advertise lapsang souchong instead of PG Tips; and that with the election of George W. Bush, the global village has finally got its own global village idiot.
Santa Responds: He's Had Enough...and He's Writing Back!
by Santa ClausEver wonder what Santa does with all those letters? (And all those cookies?) After a particularly long, cold night staring at nine smelly reindeer butts, the old man lets loose with the real answers to those stupid, whiny, hard-to-read letters from kids. Turns out, we really do get what we deserve.Dear Billy,I know you honestly believe that the good deeds you rattled off represent your behavior for the entire past year rather than the activities that occurred during the two hours leading up to the writing of this letter. Two hours of good behavior hardly justifies a new Playstation, let alone a trip to Disney World!!Your pal,Santa