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Aliens Love Underpants
by Claire Freedman Ben Cort"Aliens love underpants, in every shape and size, But there are no underpants in space, so here's a big surprise. . . . " This zany, hilarious tale is delightfully brought to life by Ben Cort's vibrant illustrations. With a madcap, rhyming text by award-winning Claire Freedman, this is sure to enchant and amuse the whole family! Perfect for joining in, this story is fantastically fresh and funny - you'll laugh your pants off!
Alphabet Weekends: Love On The Road From A To Z
by Elizabeth NobleThe ultimate romantic comedy about falling for your best friend one weekend at a time, from the Number One bestselling author of The Reading Group and Things I Want My Daughters to KnowNatalie and her sisters have known Tom and his family forever. They climbed trees together, scraped knees on the same pavements and, in taking shared steps towards adulthood, shaped bonds that would last a lifetime.So when Natalie's long-term love walks out on her, Tom's is the much-needed shoulder she cries on. And Tom dreams up an ingenious way to dry her tears: a series of Alphabet Weekends - starting with A for Abseiling - to make her forget the heartache and, he hopes, to make her see what's been staring her in the face all these years. His genuine love for her.But as they tumble from A to Z, their families and friends face broken hearts and tragedies of their own. Can the Alphabet Weekends unlock love in all its many and wonderful guises? And not just for Natalie and Tom, but for everyone they care about?**Elizabeth Noble's gloriously uplifting new novel, Letters to Iris, is out now!**Praise for Elizabeth Noble:'The mistress of the tearjerking message of love' Express'Incredibly thought-provoking and poignant' Sun'Extremely moving . . . you'll be gripped' Daily Mail
Animals
by Keith RidgwayA novel of confusion and paranoia, love and doubt, fear and hysteria: unsettling, unhinged, provocative and bestially funny, ‘Animals’ is for human beings everywhere.
The Anti-social Behaviour of Horace Rumpole
by John MortimerThe Anti-social Behaviour of Horace Rumpole - a delightful novel starring John Mortimer's iconic character'One of the great comic creations of modern times' Evening StandardASBOs may be the pride and joy of New Labour, but they don't cut much ice with Horace Rumpole - he takes the old-fashioned view that if anyone is going to be threatened with a restriction of their liberty then some form of legal proceeding ought to be gone through first. Not that Hilda agrees, of course, but she's too busy completing her memoirs to dissuade him from taking an interest when one of the Timson children is given an ASBO for playing football in the street. And pretty soon he realizes something fishy is going on. Why are the residents pursuing their vendetta against the Timson boy quite so strongly? Could they have a sinister reason for not wanting him on their street?John Mortimer's hilarious Rumpole novel, which fans of Sherlock Holmes and P.G. Wodehouse will love, sees the magician of the Old Bailey at his unpredictable and brilliant best. Sir John Mortimer was a barrister, playwright and novelist. His fictional trilogy about the inexorable rise of an ambitious Tory MP in the Thatcher years (Paradise Postponed, Titmuss Regained and The Sound of Trumpets) has recently been republished in Penguin Classics, together with his autobiography Clinging to the Wreckage and his play A Voyage round My Father. His most famous creation was the barrister Horace Rumpole, who featured in four novels and around eighty short stories. His books in Penguin include: The Anti-social Behaviour of Horace Rumpole; The Collected Stories of Rumpole; The First Rumpole Omnibus; Rumpole and the Angel of Death; Rumpole and the Penge Bungalow Murders; Rumpole and the Primrose Path; Rumpole and the Reign of Terror; Rumpole and the Younger Generation; Rumpole at Christmas; Rumpole Rests His Case; The Second Rumpole Omnibus; Forever Rumpole; In Other Words; Quite Honestly and Summer's Lease.
The Ants Are My Friends: Misheard Lyrics, Malapropisms, Eggcorns And Other Linguistic Gaffes
by Martin ToselandLinguistic mistakes. We all make them. And if your name is George W Bush, you might make them more often than others. In 'The Ants are My Friends' (delightfully misheard from Bob Dylan's "Blowing in the Wind") Martin Toseland has collected the very best (and very worst) linguistic gifts of the gaffe. The catergories features include: Malapropisms (named after Mrs Malaprop in Sheridan's "The Rivals" where the wrong word pops out to bizarre results); Eggcorns (where a new word is created from misheard real one – the name comes from someone misunderstanding 'acorn' as 'eggcorn', as it has the same shape); Bushisms (the humour in which cannot be misunderestimated); and Mondegreens or misheard lyrics, which include such classic examples as: Who Ya Gonna Call, Gus Foster ("Ghostbusters" by Ray Parker Junior); Last Night I Dreamed of Some Bagels ("La Isla Bonita" by Madonna); Sparing His Life For His Mum's Sausages ("Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen); It's a Fruit, Fruit Samba ("Cruel Summer" by Bananarama); and, Mr Tangerine Man ("Mr Tambourine Man" by Bob Dylan).
Arm-ball to Zooter: A Sideways Look at the Language of Cricket
by Lawrence BoothWhat's the difference between short leg and deep midwicket? When would you be thinking about bowling a yorker? What's so great about the sound of leather on willow? Cricket’s vocabulary is a mixture of jargon and cliché, poetry and prose, misty-eyed romanticism and old-gits’ cynicism. Arm-ball to Zooter is a witty guide to the peculiarities of the game, its history and major figures; cricket-lovers might find their own pet hates confirmed; cricket newcomers might be amazed at what cricket-lovers have been up to all these years.
The Art of French Kissing
by Kristin HarmelHow do you say, 'So many men, so little time,' in French? Well, Emma Sullivan can always figure that out later. The point is -- she's in Paris! Which would be great, except that she's stuck doing public relations for one of the hottest -- and craziest -- rock stars on the planet. Making things worse is Gabriel Francoeur, the sexy and stubborn reporter who refuses to believe her when she tells him that her client was just playing Go Fish in that hotel room with all those scantily-clad girls.... But Emma will always have Paris. The City of Light, of romance, of high fashion and of unfathomable varieties of cheese. If a girl can't reinvent herself here, there's no hope! It's time to leave the old Emma Sullivan behind and become someone courageous, exciting, successful. The type of girl who, when faced with a reporter who won't stop asking questions, knows just what to do. After all, they don't call it French kissing for nothing!
The Awesome Egyptians (Horrible Histories)
by Terry Deary Martin Brown Peter HepplewhiteStep back to an awesomely ancient time with the Awesome Egyptians. Discover which king had the worst blackheads, why some kings had to wear false beards and why the peasants were revolting. History with the nasty bits left in! 2013 is HORRIBLE HISTORIES twentieth anniversary.
Back On Blossom Street (Mills And Boon M&b Ser. #4)
by Debbie MacomberPerfect for fans of Maeve Binchy' – Candis NO. 1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER
The Bad Dog's Diary: A Year In The Life Of Blake: Lover ... Fighter ... Dog
by Martin HowardBlake is a loveable mongrel just trying to lead a happy life; he loves his owner, fiercely defends his territory against interlopers (including the owners new lady friend and her cat), does his best to avoid the frequently threatened neutering and spends a lot of his time either scooting across the carpet or chasing local tail. It really is a dogs life, and Blake has kindly taken the time to keep a diary of a year in his own life providing a hilarious, unputdownable glimpse into the mind and world of your average mutt.
Bank: A Novel
by David BledinEvery July, a fresh crop of college graduates clad in spiffy new suits fills the offices of investment banking firms, each newly minted analyst longing for big money while sacrificing anything that resembles a normal life. In this enormously entertaining first novel, a lovable, stressed-out guy nicknamed Mumbles tells the story of how he and his cohorts not only struggle to survive corporate purgatory, but also find satisfying ways to strike back at the system. Fueled by a constant flow of Starbucks coffee, Mumbles and his friends take on such tasks as secretly filming a despised colleague's boardroom romp with an assistant, creating footage they plan to broadcast at the company's holiday party. But true gratification comes only when they actually start standing up to the bank's evil minions, those who have no qualms about piling on a weekend's worth of work on a Friday afternoon. With sharp comedy, episodes of inspired hijinks, and its glimpse into a world of fleeting elevator romances and not-so-infrequent nervous breakdowns, Bank is a touching and lively novel that is, at its heart, about figuring out what really matters in life.
Bec: Book 4 In The Demonata Series (The Demonata #4)
by Darren ShanDarren Shan’s Demonata series continues with more shocks, demons and thrilling twists in the chilling Bec.
Because She Can
by Bridie ClarkIn a New York minute, Claire Truman lands both a plum position at a top publishing house and the man she's wanted for ten years...then reality intervenes. Her new boss is Vivian Grant, a notoriously ruthless tyrant known for her tirades, traumatized assistants, and tabloid-inspired bestsellers. Soon Claire's job is stealing more and more of her time and her relationship with her fiancé begins to feel the strain. It doesn't help that she's working late nights with a brilliant-and handsome-first-time author. As Vivian's outrageous demands continue to escalate, Claire wonders if she likes where the fast track is taking her-and worries about what she might turn into...
The Best of Pugh
by Jonathan PughJonathan Pugh has been The Times cartoonist since 1995. Cartoonist of the Year on many occasions since then, Pugh has become a household name. Now, for the first time, this collection brings together his funniest creations. From politics to celebrity, sport to television, Pugh takes a unique and highly entertaining view of modern life.
Beware! Killer Tomatoes
by Jeremy StrongJack's in trouble. Big trouble. Not only is he in hospital with a leg in traction (boring) but he knows the police are coming for him. Because of an accident – a tomato-related accident – involving a supermarket pyramid and an old-age pensioner. Whoops!Jeremy Strong knows exactly what makes kids laugh, and he's on top form in this very funny detective spoof. A major rebranding and repackaging programme in 2007 will ensure there's not a child in the country who hasn't laughed their socks off with Jeremy!Rowan Clifford's illustrations add to the fun.
The Big Lebowski (BFI Film Classics)
by J.M. Tyree Ben WaltersEthan and Joel Coen's The Big Lebowski was released in 1998 to general bafflement. A decade on, it had become a cult classic and remains so over 20 years later, inspiring a thriving circuit of 'Lebowski Fests' during which costumed devotees gather at bowling alleys and guzzle White Russians. Beyond its superabundance of deliciously quotable lines, how has the movie inspired such remarkable affection? And why does its critical stock continue to rise?The film's unlikely anchor is Jeff Bridges' career-best performance as Jeffrey Lebowski, a fully-baked 1960s radical turned Venice Beach drop-out known to his friends as 'the Dude'. Mistaken for an identically-named grandee whose young trophy wife is in trouble, the Dude finds himself embroiled in an impossibly convoluted kidnap plot involving pornographers, nihilists and threats to his 'johnson'. Worst of all, it conflicts with his bowling commitments.In part an irreverent pastiche of Raymond Chandler's The Big Sleep (as filmed by Howard Hawks), The Big Lebowski is also a jukebox of film history, littered with playful references to everything from Hitchcock and Altman to Busby Berkeley. This riot of addled quotations reflects the film's Los Angeles setting, a discombobulated world inhabited by flakes, phonies and poseurs with put-on identities.Like many Coen films, the movie plays havoc with the conventions of the crime genre and the absurdities of classical American 'heroism'. But it's also that rare thing: a comedy that gets richer, funnier and more affecting with each viewing. Beneath its breakneck pacing and foul-mouthed ribaldry, the Dude's story offers disarmingly humane lessons in the value of simple things: friendship, laughter and bowling. In their foreword to this new edition, the authors reflect on Lebowski's cult status and its contemporary resonances as a film about gentle non-conformity and friendship in an increasingly polarized world. The new edition also includes an interview with the Coens, revealing the origins of the name 'Jeffrey Lebowski'.
Blind Faith
by Ben EltonImagine a world where everyone knows everything about everybody. Where 'sharing' is valued above all, and privacy is considered a dangerous perversion.Trafford wouldn't call himself a rebel, but he's daring to be different, to stand out from the crowd. In his own small ways, he wants to push against the system. But in this world, uniformity is everything. And even tiny defiances won't go unnoticed.Ben Elton's dark, savagely comic novel imagines a post-apocalyptic society where religious intolerance combines with a sex-obsessed, utterly egocentric culture. In this world, nakedness is modesty, independent thought subversive, and ignorance is wisdom. A chilling vision of what's to come? Or something rather closer to home?
The Blonde Theory
by Kristin Harmel"Hilarious...deliciously entertaining." - Sarah Mlynowsi, author of Monkey Business "Kristin Harmel dishes with disarming honesty and delivers a sparkling, delightful story." -- Laura Caldwell, author of The Year of Living Famously Harper Roberts is a corporate attorney in Manhattan. She's smart, attractive, and funny. So why can't she find a date? Men flock to her at parties when they think she's a dumb blonde. But, as soon as they realize she's a Harvard-educated lawyer, they flee. Harper's best friend is a magazine editor who suggests Harper go on assignment for a month as a 'dumb blonde' and see if it changes her dating perspective. So, for two weeks, Harper goes undercover. She changes her wardrobe, her conversation, her body language. The result is a series of comical encounters. Soon, Harper must take a good look in the mirror and realize that it's not just men who judge people on their looks.
Blood Beast (The Demonata #5)
by Darren ShanThe master of horror returns with another spine-tingling adventure in the fifth title of the Demonata….
Book Lover
by Jennifer Kaufman Karen MackOne woman’s passion for books and search for romance lie at the heart of this touching and funny novel about literature and longing in Los Angeles.
The Book Of Lists London
by Nick RennisonWhy did London Underground once employ a one-legged man to ride up and down the escalators at Earl's Court tube station? What did Hitler plan to do with Nelson's Column? Why is London's only medieval mummy a prostitute named Clarice la Claterballock? How did a beer flood in Tottenham Court Road drown nine people? Where can you see a pair of Queen Victoria's knickers? Containing chapters covering London past and present; buildings and streets; famous and unexpected Londoners; arts, literature and crime; plus much much more, the 180 lists will amaze, amuse and inform. More than simply a keepsake for tourists, every self-respecting Londoner needs this book.
The Bowler's Holding, the Batsman's Willey: The Greatest Collection of Humorous Sporting Quotations Ever!
by Geoff Tibballs'He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it - you can see it all over their faces' - Ron Atkinson'Rugby is a good occasion for keeping thirty bullies far from the city centre' - Oscar WildeWhether over the moon or sick as a parrot, sportsmen and women can invariably be relied upon to come out with a humorous quote...even if it's not always intentional. The Bowler's Holding, The Batsman's Willey provides the definitive collection of sporting wit, from participants and observers alike.The book covers the full gamut of the sports spectrum and provides over 4,000 side-splittingly funny quotes - some examples of incisive sporting wit, others inadvertent howlers never to be forgotten; ranging from the cutting remarks of Brian Clough and Muhammad Ali to the studied observations of John Arlott and the hilarious gaffes of Murray Walker.The Bowler's Holding, The Batsman's Willey is an absolute must for any sports fan.
Buster's Secret Diaries
by Roy HattersleyDiaries celebrating a dog's joy at owning a human, by the most famous dog in Britain.Buster has written these diaries himself - whenever he could remember where he hid the manuscript in his garden. In it he lays bear the truth of how The Man has held Buster back, pretending to protect fur and feathers. Buster's last book was an instant bestseller and, outrageously, The Man took all the credit. To add insult to injury, there were no extra biscuits. Worse, The Man forced Buster to eat low-fat ones, while he himself continued to eat lots of chocolate ginger nuts.Despite The Man's best efforts, Buster still gets into lots of scrapes, and, although his sight and hearing are failing somewhat, he still wants to 'go courting' - especially in springtime. Buster remains unaware of what happened that day at the vet's, and no one will explain it to him, but they continue to allude to something. On a visit to Ireland a gentleman tapped his nose and said to The Man, 'You can't fool me. I've worked it out. You wrote the book.' Buster was so upset by this vile calumny that he wanted to give the gentleman a good nip. Then he remembered the words of someone called Robert Kennedy who The Man goes on about: 'Don't get angry. Get even.' And he has. And this time it's personal.As Buster says, 'No more Mr Nice Dog.'
Buzz Riff: A Novel Of Crime
by Sam Hill'Fast, funny and popping with surprises' Robert CraisTop Keirnan has got problems. The research firm he's been running out of his 30s-era schoolhouse in Athens, Georgia, is beginning to founder, thanks to his former office manager (and ex-lover), who has stolen half his clients and set up shop on her own. And Top is no longer banking big bucks as an operative for Shaw's Mercantile Marine since they've decided his addiction to the adrenaline buzz is more of a risk than an asset. Things are looking tough for Top, when he gets a call.American Civil War General 'Stonewall' Jackson was shot by his own men while on night patrol. His aide-de-camp reached into the General's saddlebags to find something to press against the wound and pulled out a new flag, the Stars and Bars. Stonewall died, but the Bloody Red Rag, as the flag became known, went on to become the most valuable relic of the war. Now it's been stolen and Top is asked to find it. Normally Top wouldn't touch a job like this: the money's too small, and he's not excited about his arrogant, bigoted client, Professor Jay Pope-Scott. Problem is, Top badly needs those twenty thousand dollars. So he's soon taking on fanatical collectors, ultra-right-wing religious paramilitaries, a biker gang, Fourth Federal Bank and his former lover to save the school and recover the flag.In this sequel to Sam Hill's knockout debut novel, BUZZ MONKEY, the action comes non-stop. The scrapes are daunting, the escapes hair-raising and the outcome stunningly unpredictable.
The Call of the Weird: An American Road Trip with Neo-Nazis, Porn Stars and One (Alleged) Space Alien
by Louis TherouxAfter a decade of making documentaries about offbeat characters on the fringes of US society, Louis had the urge to return to America and track down the people who most fascinated him. It would be a reunion tour, but this time without the cameras and the sense of performance being filmed inevitably brings. It would allow him to get closer to people, to discover what really motivated them and what had happened to the assorted dreamers, outlaws and eccentrics since he last saw them.On a journey that took him from the porn sets of Los Angeles to the gangsta rappers of Memphis, from a convention of UFO contactees in Arizona to Northern Idaho for a festive get-together of neo-Nazis, he asked what 'weird people' have to tell us about our own secret natures. Had he learned anything about himself by being among them? Do we choose our beliefs or do our beliefs choose us?Louis Theroux's first book is a hilarious, thought-provoking and at times surreal voyage into the heart of weirdness.