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The 78-Storey Treehouse: Movie Opening Night (The Treehouse Books #6)
by Andy GriffithsThe 78-Storey Treehouse is the sixth book in Andy Griffiths and Terry Denton's wacky treehouse adventures, where the laugh-out-loud story is told through a combination of text and fantastic cartoon-style illustrations.Join Andy and Terry in their spectacular new 78-storey treehouse. They've added 13 new levels including a drive-thru car wash, a combining machine, a scribbletorium, an ALL-BALL sports stadium, Andyland, Terrytown, a high-security potato chip storage facility and an open-air movie theatre. Well, what are you waiting for? Come on up!
The 7th Function of Language: A Novel
by Laurent Binet Sam Taylor'One of the funniest, most riotously inventive and enjoyable novels you’ll read this year' - ObserverRoland Barthes is knocked down in a Paris street by a laundry van. It’s February 1980 and he has just come from lunch with Francois Mitterrand. Barthes dies soon afterwards. History tells us it was an accident. But what if it were an assassination? What if Barthes was carrying a document of unbelievable, global importance? A document explaining the seventh function of language – an idea so powerful it gives whoever masters it the ability to convince anyone, in any situation, to do anything. Police Captain Jacques Bayard and his reluctant accomplice Simon Herzog set off on a chase that takes them from the corridors of power to backstreet saunas and midnight meetings. What they discover is a worldwide conspiracy involving the President, murderous Bulgarians and a secret international debating society.
80: Poems by Roger McGough
by Roger McGoughThere are eighty of Roger McGough's favourite poems in this hugely enjoyable collection, gathered together into a new volume to celebrate Roger's 80th birthday! Sometimes funny, sometimes sad, but always inventive, the enormous variety of poems from this hugely popular poet will never cease to amaze and delight children of all ages.
The 91-Storey Treehouse (The Treehouse Books #7)
by Andy GriffithsThe 91-Storey Treehouse is the seventh book of Andy Griffiths and Terry Denton's wacky treehouse adventures, where the laugh-out-loud story is told through a combination of text and fantastic cartoon-style illustrations.Join Andy and Terry in their now 91-storey spectacular treehouse. They've added thirteen new levels, including the world's most powerful whirlpool, a mashed-potato-and-gravy train and a human pinball machine. Why not try your luck on the spin-and-win prize wheel or hang out in a giant spider web (with a giant spider), or you can always get your fortune told by Madam Know-it-all or eat a submarine sandwich the size of an actual submarine while deciding whether or not to push the big red button . . . Well, what are you waiting for? Come on up!
97 Ways to Make a Cat Like You
by Carol KaufmannFrom the publisher of B. Kliban&’s Cat, All I Need to Know I Learned from My Cat, and Bad Cat, comes a new book that answers the question all cat lovers ask: How do I make my cat like me?97 Ways to Make a Cat Like You is the perfect interactive guide to these mysterious, fickle, seemingly aloof—yet really, just particular—pets. Paired with a full-color photograph of friendly, extroverted, happy cats (in case you&’ve forgotten what a cat looks like when he &“likes&” you), the 97 inspired, occasionally silly but always behaviorally-based tips and tricks prove that when a cat is treated right, he or she will respond in kind. Within reason. There&’s the &“Eye on the Ball&”—record a tennis match or a Ping-Pong game on TV to play back for your cat when he needs a bit of exercise. &“Cat Burrito&”—wrap your cat in a towel, burrito-style, which is particularly good for anxious pets or trips to the vet. The &“Boing, Boing!&”—wind pipe cleaners around a pencil in a spiral shape to create springs. Carefully slide off the pencil so the spirals go &“boing&” when pressed. The classic &“Tickle, Tickle&”—tickle Kitty under her chin and softly say &“gitchy, gitchy, gitchy&” in your highest-pitched voice. And for the cat owner willing to go the distance, the &“There&’s No Business Like Show Business&”—practice your best Ethel Merman by belting out favorite show tunes for your cat. Kitty won&’t care if you&’re off-key and she&’ll enjoy the stimulation.
97 Ways to Make a Dog Smile
by Jenny LangbehnNews for dogs and dog lovers to smile about: The irresistible bestseller is now even more irresistible with a 4-by-6-inch &“chunky&” format. As quirky, colorful, and giftable as ever, 97 Ways to Make a Dog Smile is now fresher and more appealing. Developed by Jenny Langbehn, a veterinary nurse who has a gift for making dogs happy, here are 97 foolproof methods and tricks for putting any dog into a state of pure pleasure. Enhancing each entry is an adorable, full-color photograph of the guaranteed result—a smiling dog. Give these a try: Lower-Ear Noogies. The Thumper. Lazy Man&’s Tetherball. The Hansel and Gretel—&“For an afternoon of fun, scamper about the house leaving a trail of plain popped popcorn in your wake.&” Or &“Subliminal Game,&” which works by sneaking a favorite word like &“cookie&” into otherwise boring jabber.* The tricks require no fancy props or special talents—just a willingness to surrender yourself to sheer silliness. They combine the creative gift of touch— unexpected ways to rub, massage, scratch, tickle, and knead—with imaginative play scenarios that are just loopy enough to ensure your dog will be amused, whether he&’s laughing with you or at you. These tricks really work.*Don&’t forget to have said cookie on hand.
99 Dead Snowmen
by Tony De SaullesStan the Snowman does not have the best of luck. In fact, it seems like everyone is out to get him. Beset by enemies on all sides, he is viciously attacked by an extraordinary array of things - old ladies, robins, super models, rabbits, hot water bottles, daffodils, chocolate flakes, evil cannibal snowmen... The list goes on and on in this hilarious cartoon collection of 99 freaky fatalities will leave you crying with laughter. A wintry Christmas present to die for.
99% Mine: A Novel
by Sally Thorne'The next Sophie Kinsella' BUSTLE'A brilliant, biting, hilarious new voice' KRISTAN HIGGINS'I would read Sally Thorne's grocery list. She is THAT good' GOODREADS __________________crush (n.): a strong infatuation, particularly for someone beyond your reach . . . Darcy Barrett found her dream man at age eight - ever since, she's had to settle for good enough. Having conducted a global survey of men, she can categorically say that no one measures up to Tom Valeska, whose only flaw is that he's her twin brother Jamie's best friend - oh, and that ninety-nine of the time, he hasn't seemed interested in her. When the twins inherit their grandmother's tumble-down cottage, they're left with strict instructions to bring it back to its former glory. Darcy plans to leave as soon as the renovations start, but before she can cut and run - her usual MO - she finds a familiar face on her porch: Tom's arrived bearing power tools, and he's single for the first time in almost a decade.Suddenly Darcy's sticking around. Sparks start to fly - and not just because of the faulty wiring. But a one percent chance with Tom is no longer enough. This time around, Darcy's switching things up. She's going to make Tom Valeska ninety-nine percent hers.____________font size="+1">Find out why everyone is obsessed with Sally Thorne 'The perfect sexy, fun love story to read by the pool' PAIGE TOON on 99% Mine 'Charming, self-deprecating, quick-witted and funny.' The New York Times on The Hating Game'A smart and funny modern romance.' Good Housekeeping on The Hating Game'One of the most delectable rom-coms I've ever read' Entertainment Weekly on The Hating Game
99 Problems: Superstars Have Bad Days, Too
by Ali GrahamPoor Superstar. All the money and fame in the world won&’t prevent him from having a bad hair day. Or stepping in gum. Or not being able to fit into skinny jeans, or watching helplessly as a scoop of ice cream falls from its cone. Or so an unnamed Superstar&’s life is ingeniously imagined in this very funny book. Inspired by but not based on Jay Z&’s monster hit &“99 Problems,&” illustrator Ali Graham riffs on what might be the real problems afflicting a world-famous music mogul who also happens to be married to the foremost diva of our time. Begun as a Tumblr, which went viral almost instantly, 99 Problems is a highly conceptual gift book showcasing 99 full-color illustrations of a cartoon character who looks just like a certain legendary rapper, and the often ordinary and sometimes fantastical things that happen to him. And that&’s where the book finds its hilarious, compulsive hook—in an age that worships celebrity and assumes, somewhat enviously, that fame and fortune can protect one from life&’s travails, what if that just weren&’t true? There&’s a surprising, underlying warmth here. Even when the author dips into flights of pop culture fantasy—Superstar on the bow of the Titanic; Superstar whipping up a bad batch alongside Walter White from Breaking Bad—the recognition of shared kinship is strong. It&’s a cartoon version of celebrity, but like the best cartoons, it&’s edgy and knowing, yet sweet, too.
A 'A Bit Of A Shemozzle’: GAA Quips & Quotes
by Martin O'DuffyGaelic football and hurling have a language all of their own. From Micheál Ó Muircheartaigh and Micheál Ó hEithir to managers, players and fans, the GAA is home to an endless array of quotes and quips This collection of quotes, some well-known and others more obscure, also includes extracts from letters, laws and conversations that champion the traditions and lifestyle of these uniquely Irish sports and their place at the heart of our culture. A celebration of players, supporters and sport, this book is a slice of Irish tradition and humour rolled into one. "I looked at the scoreboard at one time and thought it was the time: 4-17." Darragh Ó Sé "Seán Óg Ó’Halpín – his father’s from Fermanagh, his mother from Fiji, neither a hurling stronghold." Micheál Ó Muircheartaigh "We were walking down the corridor with Mr Haughey who was on crutches at the time. He said to him ‘Páidí, did you break any bones during your career?’ and he said, ‘Yes, Taoiseach, but none of my own.'" Sean Walsh, former Kerry GAA chairman on Páidí Ó Sé "It’s like gang warfare, innit?" Noel Gallagher, musician, on hurling
A.K.A. Lucy: The Dynamic and Determined Life of Lucille Ball
by Sarah RoyalThis stunning package offers a rich, intimate, and highly entertaining look at the remarkable life and work of the television pioneer, the First Lady of Comedy, the legend, Lucille Ball—AKA Lucy. Full of fresh perspective, gorgeously designed, and richly informative, this is a book on Lucille Ball like none other. With profiles spotlighting the many different facets of the woman, AKA Lucy details how Ball changed the face of comedy and the entertainment industry. It sheds new light on the star's history, from her childhood through hard-scrabble days trying to make it in show business, falling head over heels in love and embarking on one of the great romances of the twentieth century, to becoming the biggest star in the world, a pioneer in television, and an icon for the ages. Filled with photos and highlighted by bright illustration and design, this is a volume almost as vivid and entertaining as the woman herself.AKA Lucy is officially authorized by the estate of Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz.
An A To Z Of Love: Room For Love / An A To Z Of Love / Summer Of Love (The Love Trilogy #2)
by Sophie PembrokeEveryone's talking about Mia Page. Again. Mia Page has been the subject of gossip in Aberarian for half her life, ever since her father ran off with his secretary–and the contents of the local museum safe–when she was fourteen.
The A to Z of Us
by Hannah Doyle‘Brilliantly funny and sweet, so heartwarming and relatable. I couldn’t stop reading it!’ Lucy Vine ‘Warm, witty, romantic and oh-so relatable, I couldn’t put this book down’ Zara Stoneley Can love ever be as easy as ABC?
The A-Z Of Being Single: A Survival Guide to Dating and Mating
by Jeff GreenAh, the single life. The blind dates, the guiltless sleeping in the starfish position, the 'table for one in a draught, please'. In his hilarious new book, Jeff Green offers practical advice on how to find love, or failing that how to pretend you've got a significant other half. For women: Leave the fridge door open for no reason. For men: Wash your towels. And if you've just been dumped, Jeff shows how you can reach 'closure', otherwise known as uncompromising REVENGE. Also includes:** Great chat-up lines for the older lover: 'Did you break a hip when you fell from heaven?' ** Beauty tips for dates: How to look twenty years younger? Stand further away ** Things not to say on a first date: Would you like to see my shrine to the others? ** And at last, the truth about what women really want*If you're in a couple, this book will remind you why your own situation is - just about - worth tolerating. And if you're happily single, follow Jeff's advice and you're guaranteed to stay that way... * everything
The A-Z Of Having A Baby: A Survival Guide (The Sentients of Orion #2)
by Jeff GreenCongratulations! You're having a baby! Or maybe you're a proud parent, holding your little bundle of joy with a mixture of ecstasy, wonder and sheer unadulterated TERROR? But don't panic! Real help is at hand, in the form of new dad and award-winning comedian Jeff Green. Let him guide you through the late nights, the stretch marks, the haemorrhoids... (and that's just the dads) and reassure you that you are NOT ALONE. So Dad, if you're suffering from father blues (the slow realisation that all your holidays will now be at Center Parcs), and Mum, if you're still miffed that your partner kept just out of punching range during childbirth, then this book is most definitely for you. Because it's not just babies who have teething problems...
The A-Z Of Living Together
by Jeff GreenWhat happens when those two most incompatible of creatures - the human male and the human female - settle down for a life of togetherness and arguments about the toilet seat? Award-winning comedian Jeff Green bravely sets out to discover the truth. Why is, 'Wow, you're a fantastic cleaner', not considered a compliment? And what is it about women and candles...? Along the way he offers helpful advice (why you shouldn't cheer when your partner says, 'I'm not angry, I'm disappointed'), handy tips (ways to avoid becoming broody: get up every hour throughout the night and burn £200) and essential buys (see 'exercise equipment and other places to hang wet washing'). Whether you're hopelessly coupled or gratefully single, The A-Z of Living Together has all the answers you need. Because it's not just men who behave badly...
The A-Z of Pointless: A brain-teasing bumper book of questions and trivia (Pointless Books #4)
by Alexander Armstrong Richard OsmanJourney from A-Z, playing 26 rounds of Pointless with family and friends and enjoy facts, banter and musings from Alexander Armstrong and Richard Osman. Inside you'll find hundreds of questions for all the family from TV's most popular quiz show, Pointless. (You will also find thousands of answers, which is very handy.) Taking you on a journey from A to Z you will learn amazing facts, from Agincourt and Andy Warhol to Zinedine Zidane and Zimbabwe, and everything in between.As an added bonus Alexander Armstrong and Richard Osman, also reveal their exclusive A to Z of behind the scenes gossip and Pointless secrets, all written with their trademark wit, alongside exclusive drawings by Moose Allain.Everyone you know will love this book. Except maybe for that couple you met on holiday, and, be honest, you didn't really like them anyway. I mean, she was alright, but what was up with him?
The Aargh to Zzzz of Parenting: An Alternative Guide
by Joanna Simmons Jay CurtisA is for Anxiety, Alcohol and awful Activities.B is for Bedtime, Baking and Boredom. C is for Childcare and Cooking With Your Coat on. The Aargh to Zzzz of Parenting puts two fingers up to the idea that motherhood is the most rewarding experience a woman can have. Taking a laugh-out-loud look at life with young children, it taps into the very normal, but hard-to-admit frustrations that many parents feel. This brilliantly alternative A - Z of parenting is essential reading for all mums and dads who 'really love their kids, but...'
The Abertump Uprising (The Strange Life of Horatio Evans #2)
by Ray NoyesGrowing in confidence, but fed up with a lack of progress in bringing communism to Abertump, Horatio Evans decides to declare the town an independent soviet socialist republic. He, as its leader, decides to emulate Karl Marx by creating a reading room behind Jones’ Emporium, (the ironmonger), in which to find inspiration. However, he finds he’s the only one who’s looking for inspiration. The rest of the town seem quite content, thank you. How will he stir up the populace and persuade them to revolt? Horatio enlists the aid of the communist parties of London, Moscow, and East Berlin in his push for revolution. He hides his full intentions from Abertump Town Council under the guise of twinning it with Berlin. A group of six men set off for the German capital in an ancient Austin A35 van to make contact with real communists, but fail to get very far. How Horatio extricates himself from the failed uprising is a stroke of sheer genius.
The Abominable Snow Penguin (Oliver Fibbs #3)
by Steve HartleyHi! I’m Oliver Tibbs (some people call me 'Oliver Fibbs') and sometimes my life gets a little DAB - Dull And Boring. So from time to time I 'get creative' with the truth at Show and Tell. Although I honestly am a Defender of Planet Earth, just like Agent Q in my favourite comics, and right now my uncle, the world-famous explorer, Sir Randolph, is lost in the Antarctic and it’s up to me to find him. Plus a new ice age is about to freeze the Earth unless I find a way to stop it – there are evil snow beasts on the loose and – OK, maybe I’m exaggerating . . . But as I keep telling everyone, THEY’RE NOT FIBS, THEY’RE STORIES!
The Abominables (PDF)
by Eva Ibbotson Sharon RenttaA hundred years ago, in the Himalayan peaks of Nanvi Dar, the daughter of an English earl is kidnapped by a huge hairy monster. In a secret valley Agatha Farlingham is introduced to a family of motherless yetis and devotes her life to their upbringing. She teaches them to speak, tells them stories and insists on polite manners. But as the decades pass, tourists come to the mountains, a hotel is built and yeti-hunters arrive. Agatha knows that there is one place in the world where they would be protected - her ancestral home at Farley Towers. When a boy and his sister stumble upon her hidden valley, she knows she has found the courageous people who will carry out her plan. The excited yetis are smuggled into the bridal suite at the hotel. A freezer lorry is waiting to put them into semi-hibernation on the long trip home. But the baby yak that has fallen in love with the youngest yeti foils the refrigeration plan and they set off on a hugely entertaining road trip half way across the world. In the Sultan of Aslerfan's kingdom the yetis release all the animals from his zoo. In the Alps they rescue a lost child in a blizzard. In Spain, the yak creates chaos at a bullfight. But when they arrive in England, a terrible shock awaits them at Farley Towers... This early novel, never submitted for publication, contains all the trademark qualities that made Eva's subsequent books so successful; comedy, loveable and eccentric characters, perfectly-crafted plotting, and inspiring themes of tolerance, kindness to animals, and the defeat of cruelty.
About a Boy: About A Boy For Pack (Basic Ser.)
by Nick HornbyTHE MILLION COPY NO. 1 BESTSELLER 'A very entertaining and endearing read' The Times___________________'How cool was Will Freeman?'Too cool! At thirty-six, he's as hip as a teenager. He's single, child-free, goes to the right clubs and knows which trainers to wear. He's also found a great way to score with women: attend single parents' groups full of available (and grateful) mothers, all hoping to meet a Nice Guy.Which is how Will meets Marcus, the oldest twelve-year-old on the planet. Marcus is a bit strange: he listens to Joni Mitchell and Mozart, looks after his mum and has never owned a pair of trainers. But Marcus latches on to Will - and won't let go. Can Will teach Marcus how to grow up cool? And can Marcus help Will just to grow up?This astonishing novel, now a modern classic, was adapted for the acclaimed film About A Boy, starring Hugh Grant and Nicholas Hoult. 'A stunner of a novel. Utterly read-in-one-day, forget-where-you-are-on-the-tube-gripping' Marie Claire'About the awful, hilarious, embarrassing places where children and adults meet, and Hornby has captured it with delightful precision' Irish Times'It takes a writer with real talent to make this work, and Hornby has it - in buckets' Literary Review
About a Girl: About A Girl, What A Girl Wants (Tess Brookes Series #1)
by Lindsey KelkThe start of a brand new series from the immensely popular Lindsey Kelk, author of the bestselling I Heart series
About a Girl: About A Girl, What A Girl Wants (Tess Brookes Series #1)
by Lindsey KelkThe summer bestseller from the immensely popular Lindsey Kelk
About a Girl: About A Girl, What A Girl Wants (Tess Brookes Series #1)
by Lindsey KelkThe summer bestseller from the immensely popular Lindsey Kelk